The New M.E. Generation











Fast forward a couple of years later and this time my ‘x’ left me and filed for divorce. It was a very difficult time. My father had passed suddenly early that year; my boss had made my work miserable from day one, and with my life falling apart because of these two events, he took advantage of doing everything in his power to make my performance suffer even more.

Within a 6-8 month period, the divorce was finalized, lost my job, and I moved out of my home and all that my life represented to that point.

Eventually I moved into an apartment; it was the first time ever I’ve been on my own and taking responsibility for everything.

I don’t know where my friend was in all this. My first memory into single life was he calling me to the apartment letting me know he had accepted a job in the Northeast and was already there.

He also called to introduce me to ‘his family’: a woman and son who would be living with him. Even more, he put her on the phone so we would meet.

I was so overwhelmed I didn’t question him on any details of how it all came to happen. I don’t even know (or remember) what he said about me, or our friendship, to this woman.

When she spoke to me she sounded OK, nothing then that impressed me or raised a red flag.

I was probably more concerned about losing our friendship than anything else, especially now, plus I trusted him he would do the right thing, or so I thought.

Once we both settled down, the calls went back to the usual routine. But now we would discuss our emotions more now that my relationship ended and he was in one that he referred to as ‘a marriage without papers’.

We kept supporting each other and would tell each ‘we would be fine’. But such a statement was easier said than done.

We were now more than 10 years older, gone through too many rough moments and in a stage in our lives that anything we set out to do could go either way.

Gone were the years that you felt you could overcome anything that was thrown at you, that there was a way to make things better, that by putting your best effort, you would get what you hoped for.

It was a time of ‘let’s see what happens’ and of knowing that all that had significance to you could be lost in an instance; leaving you with scars that not even the best medicine could heal.

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{December 30, 2013}   Looking Back 26 – Over the limit

After Thanksgiving break, I went to my usual routine. A few weeks went by and no word from that guy or myself to him either.

And, in his expected manner, he re-emerged like a bad cold that refuses to go away all together.

‘Closed on my house, yay! How are you?’ his text read.

My thought was, ‘Yay, great for you, as always’. This means there’s always going to be a situation (or better yet, excuse) for him not coming to see me.

And regarding the ‘how are you?’ part, I’m in no rush in responding. Like I’ve said before, if he cared in any way, he would have called already, and I’m tired of wasting my limited texting on him.

A couple of hours later, he wrote again. ‘Are you there?’

‘Yep’, said I. Felt more like saying, ‘Still here putting up with you’. My limit with him was already way more than that of my last messaging billing cycle.

‘I have Xmas week off. What will you be doing?’ wrote he.

‘I will be around’, replied I. Regardless if I have a plan or not doesn’t matter. I know I will not be included in his, so why say anything else?

A couple of weeks went by and, again, he was lost all together. I had stepped away from communicating to him as I have been doing (‘yay’ to that!).

Before I knew it, it was Xmas Eve and, as I always do, I call everyone I think deserves my undivided attention and wish them well. The ‘beach guy’ didn’t, but in the spirit of the holidays, I putted my emotions aside and did anyway.

I knew this would go over quickly (he wouldn’t answer my call), so I made his first. Here’s the drill: his phone rings 4 times and then voicemail activates. ‘Hello, this is…Please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as I can’ (which you never do with me).

My response: ‘Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas with your family and loved ones’ (which doesn’t include me).

All right, done. Time to call those others worth my mobile minutes.



I didn’t mention the long weekend again to the ‘beach guy’ until the day before I was set to leave. The message was more like a reminder, as I was not expecting much response from him. I had even told him to call me and he didn’t do that either.

My friend arrived two days before departing. I checked my emails one last time before leaving and, finally, a message.

‘When are you leaving?’ asked he. ‘About to go; TTUL’ said I. But, wherever or not we would meet, that was still up in the air.

While driving, my friend noticed my seriousness. This was supposed to be a vacation away from the usual routine that surrounded my life. I tried to avoid discussing my mood by saying that I was concentrated on what I was doing.

Although we have been friends forever and spoke occasionally, there was a lot of catching up to do with my school friend, especially the topic of men. And with a 3-hour road trip, what better time than now to discuss it?

“The pattern that I see on these guys that you meet is that you’re not their priority,” said he. “They know that you’re alone and don’t have much of a social life. So whenever they’re done with their day or when a date goes wrong, that’s when they decide to call you.

None of them are worthy of you, including that one you’re hoping to see. The way he behaves with you is another example of what I’m trying to tell you.

He only sends you emails and we’re on our way and still couldn’t give you an answer? What is that?

He says he’s busy with work, kids, and whatever else in his life. He may not tell you, but what he’s saying is that he’s not that interested in you.

You should handle this like when you’re standing in line to send a package: NEXT!!!”

I knew he was right, as always. He’s one of those few guys in my life who had earned the right to tell me how it is.

We changed topics several more times during our travel. We finally got to our destination and I couldn’t be happier.

I didn’t touch the ‘beach guy’ subject again. I kept my phone close to me hoping for a call. I even thought about checking my emails, but decided not to.

You know what? It’s time to ‘log out’ from that and ‘log in’ into my vacation.



et cetera