The New M.E. Generation











It has been a few weeks since the ‘beach guy’ resurfaced, so I was curious about him. I know his last text message had ‘booty call’ written all over it and that our last chatting some 2 years ago ended badly, but that’s the way I am. For me, there’s always something underlying here that I want to find out.

I know his behavior proved he’s still the same guy I remember from school, but you always wonder if even a slight behavior modification has occurred.

So I texted him ‘So what’s up with you?’ and waited for an answer. He replied a couple of hours later, stating that he was dealing with a cardio patient in a clinic in Ohio.

After the small talk exchange from both sides was done, he then said: “Well I’m sorry I missed you last time I was there.”

Me: “Next time tell me in advance and it might happen.”

Him: “Well it was a last minute trip. That’s how they usually are.”

Yep, still the same. Felt like saying, “Whatever. You couldn’t even call or text me during your 3+ hours drive that you were headed my way?” But I was in no mood to engage in a new ‘war of words’ that would lead to the same “I’m done” as before. So I didn’t comment on that.

Him: “What might happen 🙂 See you?”

Me: “Yeah if I can meet up with you.”

Him: “Awesome.”

OMG, what’s wrong with this guy? It’s obvious that if he continues to drop by unannounced and giving me a very small window of time to react, I will continue to decline his invitation. “Más claro no canta un gallo.”

The next day in the evening, we again exchanged some more random conversation. Around 10:30pm he sends me a selfie of his face, taken while lying down on the bed. ‘Man, you look old!’ was my first thought.

His facial expression was one I couldn’t quite figure out (so typical of him). Besides showing a serious tone, it was part ‘sleepy’, to perhaps ‘want to join me?’, to ‘like what you see?’, to ‘I want to say something nice to you, but will never tell’, to ‘I was an idiot letting you go’. I know I could have asked him his thoughts, but since he’s hard to decipher, I again left it at that.

I then debated if I should do the same about the selfie. Thought ‘why not?’ and sent it, but I was smiling in it.

Him: “You are so pretty as always.”

Wow, that comment really took me back to the past, when one day he would be super nice to me at the beach, giving me the illusion that he was into me, to then ignoring me completely at school, making me feel rejected and confused. I replied only with ‘Thanks’.

Have to admit that it moved me. It has been a while since any guy have said anything nice to me (the closest is LZ1 – see the Road Less Traveled story). And with all I’ve gone through, it surely made my night.

But thought what I should have really told him was “if you like what you see, you should put a ring on it”, as in ‘here’s your chance now’.

But that’s something I will probably never get to see, unless he’s waiting for me to do that. I mean, I was the one who invited him to come my way multiple times with no success. Hmm, that’s probably because he’s seeing somebody.

Got to get an update on this before I make my next move (or not)!

 

 

 



Once my friend settled down his luggage, ate, spoke with his mom and ‘bro’, he mellowed down as if nothing had happened.

After it got late and everyone headed either home or to their rooms to end the night, my friend brought with him his computer so we could watch a movie or something. He also had a rum drink that, once again, looked really loaded, as one of those that hadn’t changed much in color, in spite of the amount of ice in it.

Regarding the computer, that was an item that when the nasty breakup occurred, this guy decided to leave with the bitch so ‘she could have a computer to work from’ or something.

One of his three cars he also originally left with her so she could ‘have a way to move around to work and so forth’ during the transition. His plan was that in one of those trips back to that hateful place for reasons I don’t recall, my then friend was to direct his ex where to leave the car with the keys and computer inside in a location determined by him, so the buddy of his (the one he was living at the house until getting kicked out) could pick it up and take it to my friend.

Don’t get me wrong, if you hate your ex so much and things ended in the worst of ways, why are you still helping him/her? Even with the mobile phone, he was still paying for her plan in his account months after they separated.

According to my friend, after he left her, she was calling a girlfriend of hers every 5 minutes or less, calls which were detailed in the bill, as the girlfriend was now ‘mi paño de lágrimas’ (my tears cloth) who was helping her deal with the situation.

My friend referred to this girlfriend as ‘la amiga putona de ella’ (the slut girlfriend of hers), ‘alguien del lado del diablo’ (someone who’s on the devil’s side), ‘someone you can’t trust’, even implying that they had become so close, both females were now in a lesbian relationship, and this guy hates ‘certain kinds of people’, which makes matters worse for him.

Even more, this guy was convinced that the ex’s unwillingness to change or try to save the relationship was to blame for this other person who was influencing and advising her for the worst, making this guy look as ‘the one who caused the relationship to fall apart’ and that ‘he was no longer needed as the bitch had replaced him with someone else’.

So, again, if your goal is to cut all ties with someone who doesn’t deserve anything good from you, the one above, life and even earth itself, why go as far as still paying for her mobile when she’s continuing to take advantage of you?

And all these stories I would hear over and over for more than a year, to see that my friend never got over or couldn’t accept this relationship was the biggest failure in his life. He kept looking for answers in religion and beyond, always thinking that if she did as he said of ‘getting spiritual and psychological help’, things could be turned around for the better, which to that day weren’t happening and probably never would.

The ‘positive’ side of all this was that in between his failed job in the Pacific, coming back home and else, he had cut back greatly on all comments and conversations of this nature, until now.

I was lying down in the bed watching a movie in the computer and he was sitting to my left on the ledge of the bed, almost facing back to me, texting non-stop, while also having a conversation with me.

I knew right away who he was texting to, which made me very upset. This guy and that ex of his had also been engaged in a ‘war of words’ in every social medium possible, a battle of ‘he said, she said’ that would only escalate in more fights and arguments.

‘Every time I try to talk to her in person, she sits there with an angry face, sporting an attitude of having her fists up like a boxer, ready to punch me,’ said he to me before. ‘She won’t admit she’s wrong and has no interest on making changes on her part.’

I kept looking at the screen and made faces to myself, pretending I was reacting to what I was watching, as I was contemplating either to tell him how upsetting and disrespectful it was of him having the nerve of communicating with that bitch next to me, even more when he had offered me to have a relationship with me in the past.

But I was not at home and, out of respect to his mom, knew another kind of battle could happen there and now, which I preferred not to unfold. I had already told him that ‘I wanted no business with him if he want back to her’, and I was leaving the next day, so the best was to look the other way (at the computer that is), and make believe I didn’t see anything.

“If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit; no exceptions,” said the male character in the movie. I’ve seen this one countless times and get emotional each instance I see that scene, which was speaking directly at me.

“Thank you; you’ve given me a lot to think about,” replies the female character.

Yep, the only guy in my life who used to care about me was now genuinely playing a character that was proving me otherwise. It wasn’t a matter that I needed to think about it to figure it out, but rather thinking of what I was to do when the weekend was over.

“Do you want to save this relationship?” asks another female character. “Yes,” replies a second male character in an unsure tone. I looked at this guy and asked myself the same thing, only to see that the answer was right there before me. I’ll take it as a no.

 

 



On Saturday I took care of other things, but made an effort to relax and rest as much as possible. My weekend was going as normal as usual, that is, until I get a text message from him.

‘Sorry for not being able to meet with you.’ Well, that’s a first, apologizing for something, especially from someone who has made it very clear that he will never admit making a mistake, because in his world, he never does.

‘No worries. Maybe next time,’ replied I.

What happened next I did not expect. He started criticizing me in such a way I became baffled to his behavior. What I did not grasp was that he didn’t apologize for not making time to see me, he was upset I didn’t make an effort to be with him!

It then became a war of words of ‘you said, he said’ in text mode. The exchange got to the point that no one wanted to lose this battle, so I started deleting them.

‘You overthink everything. You’re never fun, only combative and full of excuses. You’re probably in your pajamas watching reruns,’ said he.

‘And why does that bother you? I don’t criticize your life,’ said I.

‘Goodnight. BTW. You have. But once again. Whatever.’ So, you finally noticed someone else treating you the way you treat others.

‘When have I criticized you?’ Exactly, please give me the details as you clearly remember.

‘Stay pissed off at your ex the rest of your life. I remember when you were happy and adventurous. Full of life. I’ve learned life is too short to be bitter and unhappy. You are smart and beautiful. Go get it. Take over your life.’ Now he’s bringing out the ex card to deviate the real issue here.

Also, you remember me being what? Where, the beach? You basically had no contact with me at school.

Regarding my looks, that I know, and I get that from guys, but need more than that after I hear it. Lastly, I’m fine with my life and I’m living it in my own terms, not what you think should be.

‘Please do not criticize me any more. What I’ve learned in life is that as long as I do what others expect of me and fill their expectations, it’s all good. Once I don’t I’m then the problem with the ex issue,’ said I.

‘I’m done.’

You know what? I’m done too. I’m done with you always wanting to have the last word. I’m done with me being good to others and getting retaliated with a major guilt trip. I’m done with getting judged based on your reality when at the present you don’t know who I am.

Yes, I’m done with many things. But as it relates to him, sooner or later it was to happen like it just did.

I was still upset, but knew it was best to put the phone down again and walk away.

I may be still struggling with certain issues of the past, but unlike you and my ex, I’m dealing with them and not pretending you have nothing to do with them, or that your circumstances are as a result of other people or situations.

Oh, BTW, ‘whatever’ show I’m watching on TV it’s way much better than this ‘rerun’ between you and me that I should have cancelled many seasons ago. Click!



et cetera