The New M.E. Generation











I woke up the next day feeling very upset about what happened last night. For being just 23, he was surely a handful, and definitely one I didn’t want to be associated with this way.

I took my time to wake up and do what I usually do on weekends. I needed to go through my routine before I called him. I had to calm down or otherwise I would knock him hard over the phone line.

I only needed to tell him that I was very upset for him naming me a bitch, and for repeatedly calling when I didn’t wanted to talk to him.

He will probably not answer the phone, but I will still leave him a message. To my surprise, he did pick up my call.

“Hey, what’s up?” said I in a ‘we need to talk’ mode. His tone of voice was more of, ‘am I in trouble?’ and of not totally sure what the nature of my call was.

“You know,” said I, “you were very rude for calling me a bitch last night.”

“I said that to you? I don’t recall; sorry.”

“Obviously, especially when you kept calling me and I wouldn’t pick up my phone.”

“Again, sorry. I hope I can make it up to you.”

“For now, let’s keep it this way. It’s going to take me some time to get pass this.”

Reality is, I don’t know if I want to get pass this. Dealing with a twenty-something who’s behaving more like 13 doesn’t interest me at all.

Maybe he’ll feel so bad today that he will realize it’s better just to leave me alone. It’s the best grown-up thing he could do.

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I don’t remember for how long I was involved with Ricky. I don’t recall being that much (maybe a couple of months?), but it was long enough for my ‘baggage’ to surface and for him to show his ugly side.

What I mean by this is that because I was fresh out of a divorce, I started talking of all the negative things associated to it. And, of course, there’s as much as one person can take.

I saw Ricky starting to get mad at me or at things that to me were not really such a big issue. He also started spending less and less time with me or at my place, to the point he was no longer around.

The last time I was with him was at his office. I had gone there because I needed his help with something, but also had an excuse to meet with him with the hope that I would have ‘that conversation.’ You know, the one usually referred to as ‘we need to talk,’ when you want to decide if to either end or continue with whatever there is between two people.

All I remember was that when I managed to bring up the subject, Ricky’s reaction was of non-acknowledgement about us. Then his tone of voice shifted to one of sounding upset, and him expressing something to the extent that nothing was going on, or something like that.

For me, there was no point in saying anything else, so I decided to leave. When I was about to walk out the door he asked, “what’s going on?” (Yes, he did have the nerve to ask me this!)

“Well, you said what you had to say. But because I have a different position than yours, right now I think it’s irrelevant what I wanted to say. Take care.” I proceeded to exit the door and out of this (what?).

And that’s how it ended, quickly and to the point.

That was on a Saturday. It was a long weekend and all my friends were out of town. I didn’t heard from him at all.

I went right back where I started: alone, but now even more confused. All I could wonder if this was all that life had in store for me. If it is, it’s going to be a very lonely road, that’s for sure.



et cetera