The New M.E. Generation











Now I was the one who dropped the bomb.

“What do you mean?” said Alex very surprised. The roles were reversed, as he didn’t see this one coming.

“It’s simple. If I no longer go out with you, I’ll proof to you that I’m not with you because I don’t want to be alone or that I need anything from you.”

Alex didn’t know what to say (role reversal again). “You don’t have to take such a drastic measure.”

“Well, it’s the only way that I know. And I’m in no position in trying to proof you wrong when I don’t think anything will work while I’m still seeing you. My feeling is nothing that I do will be good enough.”

“So what happens now?”

“If you still want to see me, I will continue as your friend. But if I have to modify my behavior or act in a way to prove your point, forget it. I have been true to you and myself throughout this time, and I’m not going to change.

I did that far too long when I was married; having to proof, what, when I hadn’t done anything wrong.”

“Sounds to me you’re not facing this situation” said Alex.

“Sounds to me you’re not dealing with your insecurities and are throwing them at me. You think I’m the one with the problem. It’s always easier to place the blame on other things or people.

What you should do is ask yourself why you are with me and maybe you will find the conclusion to this whole situation.”

We kept our ‘conversation’ and I definitely was not going down ‘without a fight.’ Strange, though, I felt very empowered and confident on my position. I wasn’t questioning myself on anything I was saying or doing.

Why am I with him? Maybe because I needed to finally see how much I’ve grown; that I don’t need anyone to question me or make myself doubt of who I am; or that I need someone next to me to feel good about my whole existence or fill a space within me.

That I don’t want to be alone? True, who doesn’t? But, you know what? I’ve been getting along like that just fine.



We were kissing and everything around me ceased to exit. The Earth stood still. The planets were perfectly aligned. Everything I had experienced with the other guys was finally compensated with him. It was great, perfect, out of this world.

It was the best feeling in the world.

When the kiss was over, we looked at each other and smiled.  Not one word was said (I mean, what are you supposed to say after a moment like this?). We simply held hands and kept walking.

Yeah, that else. What do you say after been kissed AND your hand being held? How do you follow that?

He didn’t say one word or neither did I. I guess we just wanted to keep ‘enjoying the moment.’ Saying anything might have just altered this wonderful ‘out of body’ experience.

Shortly after, the ‘last call’ of the night was received. He had to pick up his employer and take her home, which signaled that our date was over for the night. Even more, what was to happen from this point forward?

I didn’t wait to ask when he walked me to my car. “So, what happens now? Are we seeing each other again? Do you want to?”

“Of course I do,” said he. “It’s just a matter of finding another moment like tonight. My job is pretty complicated the whole week, even on weekends.”

Don’t know why, but I have a feeling this job situation of his is going to be the ‘deal breaker,’ meaning, it’s not going to happen after all.

Damn it! Everything was going so perfect.

“Would you like to come to my apartment some time and hang out?” asked I.

“Love to.”

I said good-bye to Ivan and that would call him tomorrow, thanked him for the night, and drove home.

I kept my smile, but when I was away from his view, it changed. I got sort of sad and worried of where this date was going to lead.

I decided to sleep on it and feel his reaction over the phone the following day (if I’m lucky that it happens).



et cetera