The New M.E. Generation











The communication kept coming, but basically it remained via email, which started to bother me. I made a few attempts to call him, but it would go to voicemail and then he wouldn’t return my call.

It was that situation again where I felt I was making all the efforts to make anything happen. One early Saturday morning, though, there was a breakthrough. I was still sleeping when he called.

“You’re still in bed? I’ve been up since 8am. I gave breakfast to my kids, dropped them off at their mom’s, jogged for a while, and now I’m headed to the beach for a while. Have something pending to do with my daughter this afternoon.”

I haven’t said much myself and felt I was wasting my morning (and life) all together. “Sounds like an interesting day.” (Is this all I can really say?)

We kept doing the ‘small talk’ and, out of nowhere, I decided to give an explanation of what I felt about him way back then. I don’t know why I did it. I’ll blame it on being half awake or half asleep.

“I think my attraction to you was more that I wished I had what you had. The closeness to your family and intelligence were things I envied. By being with you I hoped those things would become part of my life.”

I had no recollection of how he responded or know if he actually internalized what I expressed. Our conversation had to end abruptly when he received a call from the hospital he works at.

I felt stupid after hanging up. What’s wrong with me? Why do I have to explain myself to him? Sounds like I wanted forgiveness for something I never did.

After all, he was the one who didn’t pay much attention to me at school, continued any contact with me after he graduated, or even after we saw each other years later. And now he’s pretty much behaving in the same way.

I’m giving this situation way too much thought when his actions are giving me the answers.

I was having my coffee when he sent me a photo. He took a selfie from inside his car in which he posed with a wacky face. The message read, ‘my dog took it.’ Guess this is his version of the sense of humor I was wondering about or didn’t knew existed.

The texts continued. ‘Saw this giant stingray while paddling.’ ‘Beautiful day.’ Now this is the beach guy I used to know.

I sort of felt happy for the conversation because I finally got it off my chest. But I didn’t get his side of the whole matter, so this is not yet concluded.

Question is: will that opportunity ever happen?

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{October 14, 2013}   Looking Back 15 – Kiss and tell

‘If you ever feel like talking, I’m here for you,’ wrote I.

‘I’m done dealing with my current relationship. I rather talk with you about the old days. I remember you being an awesome kisser,’ said he.

‘An awesome kisser?’ I do remember that one time when he took me for the ride on his car. But saying that I was ‘awesome’ is a major word.

‘Thanks for the complement, but I have a vague memory about that. My memories of you and I interacting are at the beach and at a distance in school,’ continued I.

‘You don’t remember a lot do you?’ asked he. ‘You and I go way back. Actually, I looked forward to seeing you in school.’

‘Maybe you and I had something going on since being teenagers, but we really didn’t have anything together. I don’t even know how to define it.’

I kept thinking about the kissing and what really happened between us. If it was that great, why didn’t it continue or he kept some sort of contact after graduating? It’s a mystery I still haven’t figured out.

I continued writing, giving all details that I had about that infamous car ride. While at it, I questioned myself why I was doing this and if he would care at all about what I had to say.

‘I remember that very well. I like chatting with you.’

‘Like I said; if you ever want to talk, let me know. Better yet, let’s have a talk over a drink, that is, if we ever get to see each other again.’

‘Thanks; you’re very sweet. Of course we’ll see each other. Don’t know when because of the distance and all the things going with work, kids, etc.’

Here we go again. Why is that all guys I meet are complicated? When am I ever getting a break?



et cetera