The New M.E. Generation

“Hey, do you want some dinner,” asked I. “You’re probably hungry and you still have to drive some more later.” The ‘beach guy’ agreed to that, besides, I was hungry too.

“Do you mind if I quickly dried my hair?” (What? You thought I would go anywhere looking somewhat ‘disorganized’?)

We agreed on a pizza place close by. My hair just needed some blow-drying and the location was casual, meaning I could get ready pretty fast.

I was concentrated on my hair looking at the bathroom mirror when, all of a sudden, he stands next to me. I felt like an apparition had just occurred and was I scared!

“Holy! What are you doing??”

“I just wanted to see you blow-dry your hair.”

“You scared the living daylights out of me!” It was that bad, I had to turn the blower off and face the other way for at least a minute before composing myself.

“Why did you get scared?” asked he.

“I don’t have that many visitors…” I didn’t want to say ‘men’ because I didn’t want to come across as my life has been completely deprived of that. Also, didn’t want to give away that I’ve had many situations with men, but just wanted to keep it to myself.

Besides, what’s so interesting about watching a woman blow-dry her hair? He kept looking at me as if I was doing something he’s never witnessed before.

Seriously, this guy is a doctor and is prepared to handle the worst imaginable situations. So what’s the deal with mine? Something where there’s no blood involved?

I looked back at myself on the mirror and felt different. I was looking at myself, inside and out, from a new perspective.

I didn’t felt uncomfortable, more like flattered that a guy was intrigued on what I was doing.

I put some make-up on and ran quickly to my closet to get dressed. I closed my bedroom door because it was the right thing to do. Nothing has happened before and certainly I was allowing anything to happen now.

I chose a dress and some heels, which now made me even taller than him.

“Wow, look at you, you look nice,” said he.

“Thanks,” replied I. I felt more like saying ‘I know’ because I knew that, in spite all that I’ve gone through, I looked real good.

We drove in my car and he was excited of seeing a woman drive a ‘stick shift’ vehicle. “I find a woman driving one very sexy,” said he.

I was once again flattered by his remark, but something remarkable happened. I went back in time when he took me for a drive in his Fiat.

I always wondered how it would feel if the roles were reversed. What did I feel? Towards he, nothing. Regarding myself, being on the pilot’s seat with full control of the situation, totally awesome.

I was glad this meeting finally happened to conclude this whole situation with him. But, above all, it confirmed that I’m so over him and quite calm about it.

‘Moving forward’, what gear should I shift for the rest of the night?

It was a few days after my last attempted phone call that I get a message that read, ‘Going to meet my wife’s boyfriend. Weird.’

What? I thought this had already happened since it has been almost a year since the separation. I honestly think it’s not the best thing to do, especially after she has been behaving badly with him (well, according to his side of the story).

But knowing how much he cares about his children, he probably wants to have the best relationship possible with the spouse, even it means being in an uncomfortable situation.

My response was, ‘What for? Give her your blessing? Please…’

The ‘beach guy’ never replied to my message, so I don’t know if he disliked my comment or have lost all interest in me (probably the second).

Some days later I was reviewing my profile page and a saw a picture that got me upset.

In it, his wife had her arm around a guy, there was another couple in the middle, then this guy next to a woman holding a dog in her arms.

He had a wine glass in one hand, but couldn’t tell if the other was embracing the woman.

The location was on someone’s house and the mood of the photo was festive, like those you see in a party, and celebrating the holidays.

Wow, this was more than a meeting. This guy actually stayed, had a drink and more, and smiled at the camera like nothing has happened.

The photo caption read, ‘Redefining family and friends.’ It was tagged by his wife, which means they’re still ‘Internet’ connected.

So, what’s the deal here? I thought the meeting was ‘weird’ and that your wife hasn’t been that nice since the whole marriage went down the tube.

I know standing next to another woman holding a dog doesn’t mean anything, but the photo is making me question what kind of person this guy is and how much I thought I knew him.

Sounds to me this is another indicative the universe is throwing at me that I really need to ‘embrace’ the notion that nothing is to happen between us.

And now that the new year is fast approaching, more the reason to consider starting on a clean slate and making some greatly needed resolutions that will lead my life in the right direction.

Thanks universe for trying to have my own ‘planets’ aligned.

Wait, I think I’m starting to remember. After some more emails, I finally put the pieces together. My ‘reconnection’ and his friend lived off-campus on the same apartment building, and on the same floor. ‘Reconnect’ was also dating a girl I knew.

But there was still a missing link. My relationship with Raad was basically a friendship and was involved with him very briefly. And, ‘reconnect’ said they knew each other from school, but weren’t buddies.

So, what was the deal that made ‘reconnect’ remember me, including my name, after some pretty long years?

“You had all the guys’ heads spinning when they saw you with Raad,” said ‘reconnect’. What? You’re saying that I was cute, or nice looking? “You certainly made an impression on them. People would take notice on you.”

Me? What the heck they saw in me? I know I always tried to look my best with the limited spending money I had. But some of the fashion I sported back then at times served me no justice.

So, again, what was it about me that apparently separated me from the rest?

No freaking idea. Still trying to figure it out.


I will confess I was not in the best of moods when I started a new search for a suitable bachelor. I don’t why I didn’t pay much attention to their profile names the first time around. But a lot of the guys surely were using some ridiculous ones.

I came across some that read like ‘hotbod35,’ ‘ready4u’ and ‘luvmchn’ which totally made me laugh.

Even worse, their photos made them look totally moronic or served them no justice. It totally blew their chances of anyone reading their profile, starting with me.

Other had photos that did not allow you to appreciate much of them because they had sunglasses on, maybe wearing a cap or hooded jacket, or their image in a picture was too small. Even if you tried to enlarge it, you still couldn’t see much.

And then there were the opposites showing too much skin by wearing only a bathing suit. At least they had descent bodies, but you could tell by their posture that they thought that they were the ultimate guys around. (Pass…)

I did get to read a few, but overall I wasn’t impressed. There was one that caught my attention, not because of anything that really hit a cord with me, but he had about 4 pictures of himself, and in all he had sort of a sad face.

What’s the deal with this guy? His profile is simple and straightforward. Nothing pretentious and clear about what he wanted from this experience. His photos were assorted and allowed to really get ‘the picture’ of how he looked like.

So why wasn’t he smiling or chose pictures that showed a more positive emotion? I mean, I only posted one with a huge smile and that got me a lot of hits (far too many for me to handle).

His profile read ‘divorced.’ OK, now I get it. Sounds to me he was the one who got ‘the axe’ and is still struggling in getting his life and emotions back to where they should be. And he’s trying online dating because, unfortunately, all else has failed.

Sounds familiar? Yep, that face is sure looking straight at me right now.

“I will level with you. I’m not here to play games. I’ve had met other young guys in the past and ended up getting involved in some way with them for the wrong reasons. I know why I did it and don’t regret it.

What I am trying to say is that I’m in a point of my life that if I’m with a guy, it is because we’re both in a committed relationship.

I could have fun with you and not care about tomorrow, but I’m tired of getting hurt and I will not do that to you either.

I probably sound corny, maybe melodramatic, or whatever else in between. But this is where I stand today.”

“Sounds to me like some of those guys were total a-holes,” said Jesse.

“You don’t want to know, believe me. You’re too young and nice to even go there. Besides, it’s irrelevant at this point. I’ve lived and learned and can only forge ahead.”

“Well, I appreciate your sincerity. You don’t get that every day.”

Shortly after the band resumed playing, everyone there continued with their dancing and partying. Jesse stayed at my side and the other guy stayed close to Dina.

Hmm, what’s the deal with that? I thought she had dismissed that one too.

It was a Friday night and Dina called me to go out.

This was usually ‘the date’ that we had on weekends. It would be a very simple ‘girls night out’ of meeting around 7pm to go to a bar/restaurant to have a drink (only one) and probably share an appetizer. The night for us would end around 10-11pm.

It will probably sound boring to you, but this is how we are. We are not the type of women who dressed up and went anywhere with the intention of picking up guys.

Our interest has always been to have a nice conversation and catch up on our lives, basically talking about our usual or current ‘state of affairs’ which was very simple.

We are both single, with a career, have no kids, young, close to our families, and a positive outlook on life. But we are missing something that we long for: to have a serious relationship with another man.

We always discussed this every time we met. We had so much positive things going for us, but there was an unfortunate, sad reality going against us.

People our age in the mid to late 30’s and early 40’s are already married or taken. The guys that become available do so later in life when they are divorced and probably have 50+ years of age.

So Dina and I were stuck in a no-win situation. We felt that there was no way to change it and that our futures, as it related to love, looked very grim.

And sitting in a bar every so often was not to help either.

We looked around and what we saw was really depressing, except this particular guy that pretty much has been staring at me the whole time I’ve been sitting here.

What’s the deal with him?

et cetera