The New M.E. Generation











Maybe it has to do with his pictures. In one he’s sitting on a staircase in a house, wearing a shirt, jeans and flip-flops. I think it is the shoes; they give me the feeling of someone bohemian, relaxed, laid back, a beach lover.

In the other photo he’s outdoors, like in the mountains, standing below a tree wearing a cowboy hat, long-sleeve shirt and jeans. He looked sexy to me probably because I’ve never known a cowboy or rancher. But, is he?

Oh. My, he’s European (yes! even better!). That hasn’t happened to me either, and (no!) he’s younger than me, by about seven years. (Will this cougar phase ever end??)

Funny thing is that he doesn’t look that much younger than me. He did look, though, that for a first online date, he would be worth a try.

So during the day we kept exchanging short emails through which we asked questions to each other, to get some info from one another. He told me his name was Ivan and was born and raised in one of the former Soviet block countries.

Then, on one of the last ones, he asked me the most dreaded question, ‘Can I have your phone number?’ Once again, nervous of how to address this, I told him to give me his, and prayed he wouldn’t pull a ‘Jesse’ reaction (‘Where I come from, that means you will never call me.’)(Please refer to ‘Another Cougar Moment’.)

Lucky me, he gave it to me, no comments made. My last email to him read, ‘Great! I will be calling you soon.’

And what does that entail from my end? For starters, I thought to wait to call until the evening so not to look desperate and to ensure he would be available to talk.

Now, got to decide if I make the call and he doesn’t answer, will I leave a message? I’ll probably freak out and hang up and try again later. I mean, the number will appear as a missed call, but it doesn’t guarantee that the receiver will answer it if there’s no voicemail.

No, I should be brave and leave a message. I mean, haven’t I been brave enough for giving online dating a try?

All right, in a few hours I will make the call that (maybe) will change my life.

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Most of the people in Dina’s group started leaving before the band finished playing their last set. Dina and I were basically the only ones remaining to leave.

I wanted to go home at the same time that she would, so we would accompany one another to our cars. But Jesse asked me to stay and offered to walk me. The other guy accompanied Dina to her vehicle.

I was hesitant of doing that, staying, and placing myself in a situation I knew I was later to regret. But he insisted in such a way with his many ‘please’ that I felt I would have looked bad from my behalf to say ‘no.’

So when the band ended playing and the bar announced ‘last call,’ it was time for me to make it for the night.

I was about to ask Jesse to walk me to my car when he asked me for my number. (Here we go again…)

“You know, I am a very private person. How about if you give me yours?” (What the heck was I trying to say here??)

“Where I come from, that means you will never call me,” said he.

“And where I come from (a.k.a., my own little world in which I gravitate around), it can mean a lot of things (like me finally taking control of this type of situations). I give you my word I will.”

I handed him my phone and he entered his number. I knew he wasn’t happy, but I was. I simply wanted to do what I felt was the right thing to do.

I finally got to my car and said good-bye to Jesse. I even hugged him and thanked him for the good time I had with him. But I knew he didn’t want me to leave.

I can’t deny I felt bad. Why does it always has to be this way, that one person falls hard for another and that other one doesn’t feel the same way?

I was questioning myself if I had made the right decision of not providing ‘too much info,’ but I had to be mature and stand by on the decisions I had made.

So I finally got into my car and left.

This has been quite a night. I have to call Madelyn and tell her about it. I need her review on my moment with Jesse.

And speaking of him, will I really call him? I’ll make that decision after Madelyn ‘puts me on the stand.’



et cetera