The New M.E. Generation

Another 2 days went by before I got another reply, this time around 4am and still on a work week.

I wondered again if he was getting up or going to bed and what his whereabouts were. In other words, were you at home or, most probably, somebody else’s place?

Back in my days when I was doing my undergrad and living on campus, if you returned very late to your room, it had to be that you were either at the library (that was the main excuse everyone used) studying or writing a paper, or at the computer center.

Yes, I said the computer center. That’s where people went to type their papers before personal ones became a normal thing to have. And the place was open (I believe) until midnight or beyond.

If those 2 locations weren’t it, then it meant you were probably having some sort of relationship with someone else and managed to spend the night with that person. You either convinced the other roommate to go sleep somewhere else, or that other person slept in your bed with the roommate there as well.

Doing the second was no easy task, as having roommates was difficult per se and meant losing more of the little space and privacy you already had.

Then there was the situation if anyone called you. It was one phone paid by many and the calls were usually from parents, family, or significant others living at school or not.

The calls would mostly occur after 10pm as they knew all classes were done for the day, you already had dinner, etc.

But, that was not always the case. If you took the call, you had the misfortune of telling the caller that your roommate wasn’t there and that you didn’t know where she was, either that was true or not.

It was an uncomfortable situation because you always sounded as you were lying and hiding something.

Then there was the task of having to call them back and explain yourself. After saying ‘you were studying’, things would quiet down until the same scenario happened again.

Yes, it was a time that keeping track of others was no easy task, but is it that different now? Not really, except that all devices are personal and mobile, and you have total control in how you manage them.

In a way it’s harder as no one else knows what you’re doing, that is, if you keep it quiet to yourself.

So what am I thinking right now? That he probably had some chemistry with a girl in his biology class and decided to take it beyond the books. After all, he’s young, good looking and has goals for the future. What girl wouldn’t like that?

This got me thinking; this guy got my attention not necessarily for his merits, but because it’s making me remember my time in college.

That was a special time, as I finally got a chance to be on my own and started to discover who I really was, just like when I became single again.

The negative part is the age difference, which is making me feel old, and that feeling is not good at all.

I may have reversed the effects of what I’ve gone through, but there’s no ‘time’ capsule for the other half of the equation.

You have to swallow it no matter what.

I placed all the letters back in the box, finished organizing the storage space, closed it and left.

I know I probably should have left with the last letter I received of him. I had no idea of his whereabouts, so perhaps doing a search with the returning address could lead to something.

But it has been so many years. Chances are he had moved, even maybe to another country. Then there was his marital status; it could be either way.

Even more, maybe he was still traveling for work and not that easily to get a hold of.

I know there are social sites to search at, but what if he shared a profile with his significant other? If he did, I can’t send him a message.

I got home and promptly got on my computer. I started my search with his first and last name, nothing. I then tried first name, middle initial and last. Again, nothing.

Tried the last option again and added the name of the country. Switched to typing his nickname with last name. I tried all data I could remember, including the ship’s name.

I wasn’t getting any results, nothing that at least could give me a clue about him. It was like trying to find someone that has never existed.

I couldn’t believe that with all the technology available, I was in the same spot as the beginning.

Now what? Smoke signals, sniffing dogs, send an SOS?

This guy took forever to get to my place considering that it was the weekend, was driving on the highway and with the assistance of a GPS.

Worst part was that he called a couple of times to make sure he was headed the right way. All he had to do was to go straight all the way until he reached a particular intersection and take the exit to the right.

From that he needed to continue a little further up make a left, then a right, another left and ‘touch down’.

“Should I go west or east at the intersection?” asked he.

“Just take the one to the right. It’s that simple.”

“But is it going west or east?”

“I am telling you the exit to your right.”

He kept insisting over the phone until I got really upset. What part doesn’t he comprehend?

“Like I explained to you,” said I, “when you get to the exit, follow the arrows pointing to the right to the street number I gave you.”

He kept me on the line until he drove the right way. When he exited, he was sounding more lost than ever. This was definitely a bad idea but could not do anything about it now.

He was now confirming the rest of the directions over and over. C’mon you, it’s not that difficult to get to my place!

When he finally understood how to get to my location, he ended the call by saying he needed to take care of something before heading here.

Say what? You keep me all this time on the phone wasting my minutes when you have a GPS and several mobile applications that could have done the same work as me? And now you need to ‘take care of something’?

I have to admit this has been the biggest mistake in my entire dating career. I shouldn’t have met or gone out with him. This is a feeling like admitting defeat in something one is doing.

So what am I supposed to do now? Don’t know, especially when his whereabouts are unknown as we speak.

Really, where the heck is he??

I did take a break of speaking with Alex for a while, and so did he. I had no idea of his whereabouts, and his lack of communication made me feel he was still pretty upset with me.

I kept telling myself that the best thing to do was not making any effort in contacting him in any way. But Thanksgiving was coming up and the sentiment behind this holiday was making me reconsider this situation.

For me it was a time to put aside all those bad feelings and come together for the blessings received during the year. This included having meeting him and his friendship.

Maybe the timing is perfect to clear out all that happened before and start (or end) in a much favorable way.

But I was wrong, yet again. He didn’t answer my call nor returned it, leaving me with a bittersweet aftertaste. It made me feel he was still totally upset with me. Even more, he couldn’t put aside how he felt and appreciate my ‘peace treaty’ attempt.

I can accept he doesn’t want anything with me, but not even having the courtesy to thank me and wish me well? Ouch! That’s such a killer.

So, in the end, I ‘ended’ where it all started; alone and without a friend, guy or anything. He made his choice and there’s nothing else for me to do.

I tried to come to terms with it and can only conclude that it was not meant to be. Blame it on timing, our insecurities, our past, the change of weather, whatever.

Was it worth it? Don’t know and I’m not going to dwell on it.

All I can say is, ‘it happened.’ That’s it.

et cetera