The New M.E. Generation











Nope, I did not see this one coming, and it was a first for me when Alex told me the following over the phone. “I would like you to spend the night with me.”

Holy! What? Say again? Did I get that right? My internal ‘mute’ button quickly activated. My mouth was open and my eyes were circling around while my mind analyzed what I just heard.

“Aah…(pause) Do we have to have sex?” is all I could ask.

“Nothing will happen that you don’t want to.”

(What are you saying? I’m still trying to decipher the first part.) “OK?…”said I.

“Is that a yes?”

“OK as in I guess I understand what you are asking of me? You have caught me off guard again and I’m speechless.”

“I know I’ve really put you in a difficult spot. My intentions are true for you and will never hurt you. Think about it and whatever you decide I will be fine with it,” concluded he.

We agreed that I was going to do that and meet again to discuss. Why meet? We’ve been doing most of our conversations online or by phone and it was understood this type of matters needed to be addressed the old fashioned way: face to face.

I sat back on my sofa, the place I’ve done a lot of thinking and decision making in the past. Many of them have involved a lot of pain and crying, and now was one of those moments.

Alex’s proposition was a very serious one to me. He wanted a committed relationship and me, not yet. He obviously was not into this for just the fun of it and neither was I.

But he also said that ‘nothing would happen unless I wanted it to.’ OK? So, if I decide to get in bed with him just to sleep (and don’t want to have sex!), will he leave me alone the rest of the night?

Get real Emma! He’s a guy! He’ll say anything to get you to his bed and then some! Do you honestly think he won’t do anything when he has a girl next to him??

Hmm, I wonder that too. I mean, he hasn’t tried to kiss me or expressed any type of emotions physically like hugging or holding hands. So, there’s a possibility he might actually be telling the truth.

Now I’m really curious to find out. Maybe instead of being afraid about this, I should go for the non-sex approach and see what happens.

Talking about putting this guy to the test.



After I hung up my phone call with Mark, I remained seated for a while with my head resting on the back frame of the sofa. Some tears were still coming down from my eyes.

I knew that Mark, one way or the other, would get me to confront the real issue at play, which was ‘I don’t want to get hurt.’

This was the real deal. It had nothing to do with giving myself a chance, or finding that other person I was back in college, or that I offered my sofa to sleep, and whatever else had me all mixed up.

Yes, this is what it boiled down to and I’m running away from it so doesn’t happen again.

So what’s next? All I thought was to have another serious talk with Jay, expose him to this situation and, depending on his response, make the final decision about his trip.

Since I was still too emotional, I decided to place the call the next day after getting a good night sleep and my thoughts in order. After going through the usual ‘hello’s’ and ‘how are you?,’ we picked up the trip topic.

After reviewing it one more time, and me expressing my anxiety for the millionth time, I finally popped the question to Jay: ‘How do I know that you’re not going to hurt me?’

“Emma, I promise, I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

Jay said other things afterwards, which I don’t recall. I do remember closing my eyes and finally exhaling in relief. It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I opened my eyes and felt no more anxiety. Everything now just looked clear to me.

“All right Jay, you can come and visit me.”



et cetera