The New M.E. Generation

Despite the huge disappointment I had with Edward in the brief time we were together (if I can define it as that), I did what I used to do with other guys, I kept communicating with him. In other words, I was the one who continued putting the effort of having anything, if that, going.

The difference was I wasn’t pursuing him continuously. I would call him once in a while to find out how he and his children were doing. I would even ask him how things with the chick from the party were doing.

Turns out they were still dating, but he wouldn’t talk much about it. His divorce was still ongoing and was taking longer than it needed to be, so he just wanted to get that resolved first and then worry about what happened later.

Interesting part was I wasn’t feeling much when we discussed his love life. I think the circumstances of all that happened simply closed by emotions to him.

I was content with the relationship we were having, even if it was only through a phone. Sometimes he would invite me to the dog park to hang out with him, kids and pet on any given Sunday afternoon.

They were pleasant, stress-free moments. Still, I would look at all that and wondered if I had let a good opportunity pass me by. After all, he had all that I wanted from a man, all except feelings for him that would motivate me to try to pursue a relationship.

I would try to imagine myself as his companion and being part of his kids’ life, but there was something that wasn’t connecting it all together.

There was no spark or something that pushed me towards him. Yes, it was all weird. How was it possible that of all the guys I met I would feel something, but not towards him?

Was it that I tried so hard to make it right that I actually made it all wrong? Did I become my own worst enemy, literally?

And before I could actually answer my own questions, it all came down to an end in an instant.

It was another day at the dog park. I don’t remember if I called him (probably did) and when I got there, the chick from the party was also there. We both looked at each other as if we were having an out of body experience.

Edward didn’t seem to understand how uncomfortable the situation was, especially me who had no business being there. Even more, the way they behaved clearly showed they were already an item. He literally took me to the dogs and it was time for me to talk a walk far away from there.

After that day I believe I stopped communicating with him all together. From time to time I would see his posts and she would always be at his side.

They were always traveling somewhere (kids included) and the locations were ones any woman would love to go to.

I would again wonder if I had made a mistake with him. Damn, that could have been me in all those photos.

I was feeling envious, but more of the relationship they were having (which I didn’t have) and the allure of traveling the world.

Reality is, all that may sound very romantic, but if you don’t feel anything for the other person, you will not enjoy any of it. That has happened to me before, so, believe me, I know what I’m saying.

Let’s just say this flight has landed and will not take this route (with him) ever again.

Another year comes and goes, and what a better way to honor the start of a new one, than getting together and celebrate Dina’s birthday.

Yes, her arrival into this world occurred the first week of the year, many moons ago. Plus, she had just come back from a trip abroad that, once again, showcased her adventurous side and how she makes the most of those moments when she’s somewhere in the world.

Dina gathered together a group of friends for dinner, to be followed afterwards by some dancing. I got to the restaurant around 8pm and pretty much everybody that was invited had just gotten there. We were about six people all together, some which I had not met before.

It was interesting to learn that basically most of us where from different parts of the world, which correlated with Dina’s international travels.

She marveled everyone with her trip stories, all those moments that made it unforgettable, and makes you want to do some of that until your ‘travel bug’ is satisfied.

I looked at Dina while she talked and felt grateful to have her as a friend, as well as be reminded of the so many things I could be discovering around the world.

But, I can’t complaint. I have done some traveling on my own terms and for specific reasons. I have given closure to plenty of things post divorce and feel I am at ease right now.

It’s not that I don’t want to travel no more, but I will start doing it again when the right moment comes. And when that happens it will be just for me as the one who has finally regained who I am as a person, and that is now in a happy and peaceful place.

It will be to discover the other wondrous things the world has to offer and not necessarily to close the gap in issues that were pending in my life. That journey has already been made, and what a ride it was.

et cetera