The New M.E. Generation











I waited 2 days to try to chat with him again. I first checked his profile again and wasn’t really impressed by what I read.

It’s not that he didn’t have any merits worth appreciating as a person. But his information wasn’t anything that was striking a cord with me. He could well be a good candidate for someone else. But I simply wasn’t feeling anything.

As much as I try to approach this with an open mind, I guess I’ve reached a point where I just know when there’s possibility or not pretty early on. I may take a humorous approach, but I’m not investing too much time around. Why would I when there’s not even a spark felt?

The guy had emailed the day before and was online when I read his message, so I initiated the chat.

‘Hello, working I suppose?’

‘Yes, on duty again, and sitting on the computer. FYI, if I suddenly disappear is because I have to leave quickly, not because I don’t want to talk to you.’

‘So how many other girls have you contacted via the site?’

‘A few, but it’s hard to meet them with my schedule.’

‘You should make the effort. You shouldn’t wait for life to pass you by and then wonder what happened with it.’

‘What about you?’

‘Also trying, but have a similar situation like yours. Long hours at work and sometimes when I get home I’m super tired. Doesn’t make you want to do much except rest.’

‘If I was there, I would give you a massage.’

All right, that’s it with this one. It’s obvious that he just wants one thing from me and he’s not getting it. This time, a guy’s behavior is not upsetting me.

After all, I wasn’t feeling it, and I knew beforehand it wasn’t going anywhere. So I guess I just let the situation ran its course until it ended, but never thought this fast.

I quickly exited the site and didn’t think about it the rest of the night.

A couple of days after, I visited the site to continue my search of candidates. There was a message from him.

‘Hey, you haven’t responded to my email.’

‘I didn’t like your last comment at all!’

‘I was joking. You need to chill out.’

‘No, you were not joking and you blew it big time with me. This conversation is over.’

I logged out the page and went back to my usual activity for the night.

I didn’t go back to the site about a few more days later. His messages were still there and there were no new one from him after I basically told him off. So, the next best thing to do was to delete all of them.

I think he tried to send me another one some days later, but I didn’t read it. I just deleted it as well.

I didn’t have any questioning towards myself. I was actually proud of myself as to how I reacted to the whole thing.

Well, hey, I’ve made progress, huge indeed. So what’s next for me? Just try, try again.

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‘Hi, how are you?’ read his chat.

‘Fine; thanks. Was about to reply to your messages’, wrote I.

‘Noticed you were online, so thought it was the best way to speak with you, for now.’

This gave me an uneasy feeling. More than misinterpreting what another person might be trying to communicate, I felt I was somewhat spied upon. It’s as if he was purposely keeping an eye on me, waiting for me to appear.

And what does he mean ‘for now’? Sounds to me that he’s going to decide my fate based upon a few sentences.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked him.

‘Your profile needs work. You’re either covering things or don’t want to be so open about yourself just yet.’

I was right. He’s somewhat interested in me, but because my first impression wasn’t that extraordinary to him, he’s going to decide to either continue pursuing me or not right this moment.

Second of all, who the hell are you to judge me, even less over a dating site profile?

I got angry, but I’m not letting it show.

‘I gave this site a try recently. Putting some more time into it is not my priority these days,’ I wrote.

‘If you want to get anywhere with it, you have to.’

Is that so? Wonder if I should mention that I get messages from 20-somethings.

‘How long have you been on the dating scene?’ asked I.

‘7 years.’

Give me a freaking break!

‘7 years??’ asked I.

‘Yes, but on and off. Have had some relationships here and there.’

And they haven’t worked out because:
(a) You’re a dick.
(b) You think you’re God’s gift to the world.
(c) You’re approaching this site as if it was a bride mail-order catalog.
(d) You think women in general need re-working so they can adjust to your mold.

Answer is: All of the above; but especially the last, because I (and women who are very clear of who they are) will not follow your shopping list.

I did that my entire life, living my existence for others or doing what they expected me to do at the expense of losing my self-esteem and sense of who I was. The one who needs to make changes around here is he.

I didn’t respond to his last chat right away, so he realized I wasn’t happy.

‘I’ve used different dating sites throughout the years, but I’m not active all the time.’

Whatever, you blew it. Still no response from me.

‘When you update your profile, let me know,’ wrote he.

‘Yeah’ is all I said.

I don’t (or care to) remember who ended the chat. After that day we never communicated again.

About a month later his profile was closed. I wasn’t surprised or even wondered if he had found someone.

Regarding my profile, still the same as he saw it and with the 100 answered questions.

And the answer to what to do about all this: you have to keep on trying.



et cetera