Friendship Above All 31 – The big question mark

Alex got up from his chair and greeted me.

‘Oh, my,’ I thought to myself, ‘he looks old, like he has aged quite a bit. And, was he that much shorter than me? Maybe not; it’s just probably my mega heels.’

I also noticed how thin he was. He was this way when I first met him, but was toned because he was exercising. Now he looked he has lost weight.

We said hello to each other with a big hug. I bet a huge sigh of relief came out of both of us.

We sat down and I ordered a drink. He was open for me to order whatever I wanted, even food, and he meant anything. But before I got to that part, I wanted to take care of something else.

“Listen, thanks for taking my call and inviting me tonight. I’m not here to dwell on the past and express again how sorry I am for whatever I said and I did that hurt you. So I’m just going to move forward and enjoy this moment now and wish that it repeats.”

He listened to all I was saying and out of nowhere he simply replied, “what is it that you want?”

What? I was talking about us (I think). Why is he throwing this type of question at me now, today?

All I wanted was to clear things out once and for all, not dwell into a topic I really don’t want to discuss right now.

Now what? Should I answer or avoid answering all together?

Friendship Above All 13 – Street walk

I got into my car and drove to the restaurant with plenty of time. My idea was to drive slowly, park calmly and walk to the restaurant with poise and grace, projecting I’m all under control.

But the closer I got to the location, the more I started getting nervous. I started breathing in and out to release my anxiety, which helped. I parked my car and walked to the restaurant, which was about two blocks down from the garage my vehicle was.

I was sure I knew where the restaurant was, but I was wrong. To top it off, I don’t walk that gracefully (according to myself), and my new shoes had not been broken in, so my feet were hurting right away.

Oh, no, I can’t believe this is happening to me! How could I make such a mistake? I know that the location is on this street, but exactly where? Ok, Emma, think clearly… Now I remember, its way back on the first block, meaning I walked right by it after exiting the garage.

I then started walking back fast, as fast as I could, with my feet aching even more. Damn it! I don’t want to be late!

As I got closer and saw the restaurant sign, I slowed down my pace. Great! I’m sweating and my feet are killing me. And, even worse, is that Alex sitting at the only window table?

All right, I need to take a deep breath, walk in as if nothing has happened, and just enjoy this night.

Failure To Connect 14 – Stormy times continue

After some time of sitting in the water, Christian and I loosened up, conversation wise that is. We pretty much talked about the general topics discussed during our first conversation.

But we remained static where we were. There were no hugs, kisses or other display of affections. Smiles and laughter were expressed more as a relief that this moment finally happened.

Also, his buddy was sitting on the boat so, although he was looking away, I couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

Yeah, I did want to show my joy in some way, but something inside of me told me not to. I can’t explain what it was, but I knew it would have been a bad move, especially after my past experiences with other men, plus all the complications I’ve had with this guy to get to this moment.

But as for today, I decided to just enjoy the moment for what it was.

Yep, I guess what we want the most sometimes takes the hardest work. But, did it have to be this complicated? Ah, whatever…

I’m relaxed and still talking to Christian when a ‘higher power’ interrupts the afternoon. I felt a strong wind moving towards us, the sun fading to gray, and the water getting cold.

I looked to the horizon and…what is that? Is that a storm??

No. No! This can’t be happening!!