I met with Dina for Sunday brunch. It has been a while since we’ve gotten together. She invited some other girlfriends of her to join us as well.
I personally don’t mind that because it’s always good to meet new people and just have plain conversations about anything. Of course, the topic always turns to men.
I don’t know how it came up, but one of the other women started talking about these new mobile dating apps that are super easy to use. I’ve heard about those that you see a photo of the person with some basic info like first name, location, work title (if provided), and deciding if you like the person or not, you simply swipe right for yes, left for no.
The next step is that, hopefully, the person that you liked had done the same for you previously and a connection is established. It’s then up to you to try to continue with such connection, as you only have about 24 hours to communicate with the other person before it’s lost for good. Sound simple, but it pushes you to take quick action.
The woman opened her profile to show me the app. I noticed the age range and it was in the mid to late 30’s. There were many nice looking guys for her to consider.
I kept looking at what the app provided and also at her. She had a friendly personality, nicely dressed, has a good job, and is in the same situation as me. We have qualities that any guy would wish for (I think) and we can’t find someone. How crazy is that?
I downloaded the app while still there, but didn’t open it, as I felt it would be disrespectful from my part. I may try to be digitally up-to-date, but will not act like the current generation that its glued to their device every waking moment. This you handle in privacy when you get home. And I did.
I opened the app once I settled down, created the profile, added photos, etc., and off I went. The results were a bit of everything: some men looked good enough to consider; others looked way older than me; others were definitely a no right from the first photo appearing; others had photos at different ages; others had photos other than themselves (kids, dog, beach, stupid GIFs or memes). You name it, I saw it.
But before you do the swipe, you have to read the location of where each one lives and any information they might have provided that sheds some light as to what they want.
There were some that were just too far away for me, meaning it will always be difficult when having to see each other. Doing the ‘meet you in the middle’ will not work in the long run.
Other closer locations I consider ‘manageable’; they’re easy to get to or are ones that I could consider moving to in the future if anything became serious. I know I’m jumping ahead of myself, but you have to consider any scenario from the start, not later, and avoid the ‘it’s complicated’ dilemma.
Others, after reading the info, including their profession, you just realize you have nothing in common, or they’re out of your (and their) league. I am trying to be as open as possible to anything out of my comfort zone. But there’s some people that you just know by the way they’re behaving in the photos, what they’re wearing, or other physical aspects, that it will never happen, not even if the planets aligned or the world is about to end. Not only do you know, you feel it.
And the ‘out of league’, those guys that spend every available time in the beach, gym, or similar activities, want someone like them. Period. End of story.
Ladies, take it from me: they’re not going to stop pumping irons with their buddies or change their schedule for you, unless you do so for them or are into the same thing. The ‘trophy woman’ will not work unless you’re into bodybuilding or have a jacked-up body.
Other ‘outs’ (as mentioned above), include those that claim that travel constantly (pleasure or work), or have photos attending some fabulous event. This may look very chic and glamorous, but unless you’re in those inner circles, have the money to be a globetrotter, or afford to be at the level of those activities, chances are you will not be the woman for him.
It also applies to guys who are CEO’s or entrepreneurs. I’m not saying to sell yourself short, but these guys who are very successful, want women who are accomplished in a similar business/corporate measure.
You may be happy with your job and feel fulfilled with what you do, but if you’re not even close to where he is professionally, you will always look second place next to him, maybe a bimbo, or someone who’s with this guy for some personal agenda you have.
Don’t get me wrong; you may have your self-esteem and confidence in the right place and will not feel intimidated, but it will become an issue somewhere in the long run.
Also, stay away from guys who say they’re in town for a week. You’re not an escort (and have no idea what they left behind back home). Believe me when I say he won’t remember you once he’s gone. All they want is that their ‘layover’ turns into ‘getting laid over and over’ again.
Unfortunately, life is not fair, on anything. It’a jungle out there, even for finding a guy. So if you’re ready for this technology, then get your finger ready and start swiping.