The New M.E. Generation











{September 26, 2016}   The Swipe – Left or right

I met with Dina for Sunday brunch. It has been a while since we’ve gotten together. She invited some other girlfriends of her to join us as well.

I personally don’t mind that because it’s always good to meet new people and just have plain conversations about anything. Of course, the topic always turns to men.

I don’t know how it came up, but one of the other women started talking about these new mobile dating apps that are super easy to use. I’ve heard about those that you see a photo of the person with some basic info like first name, location, work title (if provided), and deciding if you like the person or not, you simply swipe right for yes, left for no.

The next step is that, hopefully, the person that you liked had done the same for you previously and a connection is established. It’s then up to you to try to continue with such connection, as you only have about 24 hours to communicate with the other person before it’s lost for good. Sound simple, but it pushes you to take quick action.

The woman opened her profile to show me the app. I noticed the age range and it was in the mid to late 30’s. There were many nice looking guys for her to consider.

I kept looking at what the app provided and also at her. She had a friendly personality, nicely dressed, has a good job, and is in the same situation as me. We have qualities that any guy would wish for (I think) and we can’t find someone. How crazy is that?

I downloaded the app while still there, but didn’t open it, as I felt it would be disrespectful from my part. I may try to be digitally up-to-date, but will not act like the current generation that its glued to their device every waking moment. This you handle in privacy when you get home. And I did.

I opened the app once I settled down, created the profile, added photos, etc., and off I went. The results were a bit of everything: some men looked good enough to consider; others looked way older than me; others were definitely a no right from the first photo appearing; others had photos at different ages; others had photos other than themselves (kids, dog, beach, stupid GIFs or memes). You name it, I saw it.

But before you do the swipe, you have to read the location of where each one lives and any information they might have provided that sheds some light as to what they want.

There were some that were just too far away for me, meaning it will always be difficult when having to see each other. Doing the ‘meet you in the middle’ will not work in the long run.

Other closer locations I consider ‘manageable’; they’re easy to get to or are ones that I could consider moving to in the future if anything became serious. I know I’m jumping ahead of myself, but you have to consider any scenario from the start, not later, and avoid the ‘it’s complicated’ dilemma.

Others, after reading the info, including their profession, you just realize you have nothing in common, or they’re out of your (and their) league. I am trying to be as open as possible to anything out of my comfort zone. But there’s some people that you just know by the way they’re behaving in the photos, what they’re wearing, or other physical aspects, that it will never happen, not even if the planets aligned or the world is about to end. Not only do you know, you feel it.

And the ‘out of league’, those guys that spend every available time in the beach, gym, or similar activities, want someone like them. Period. End of story.

Ladies, take it from me: they’re not going to stop pumping irons with their buddies or change their schedule for you, unless you do so for them or are into the same thing. The ‘trophy woman’ will not work unless you’re into bodybuilding or have a jacked-up body.

Other ‘outs’ (as mentioned above), include those that claim that travel constantly (pleasure or work), or have photos attending some fabulous event. This may look very chic and glamorous, but unless you’re in those inner circles, have the money to be a globetrotter, or afford to be at the level of those activities, chances are you will not be the woman for him.

It also applies to guys who are CEO’s or entrepreneurs. I’m not saying to sell yourself short, but these guys who are very successful, want women who are accomplished in a similar business/corporate measure.

You may be happy with your job and feel fulfilled with what you do, but if you’re not even close to where he is professionally, you will always look second place next to him, maybe a bimbo, or someone who’s with this guy for some personal agenda you have.

Don’t get me wrong; you may have your self-esteem and confidence in the right place and will not feel intimidated, but it will become an issue somewhere in the long run.

Also, stay away from guys who say they’re in town for a week. You’re not an escort (and have no idea what they left behind back home). Believe me when I say he won’t remember you once he’s gone. All they want is that their ‘layover’ turns into ‘getting laid over and over’ again.

Unfortunately, life is not fair, on anything. It’a jungle out there, even for finding a guy. So if you’re ready for this technology, then get your finger ready and start swiping.



“When are you coming back?” asked the woman.

“I don’t know. This is my first time in Cuba,” replied I.

“Do you like it?”, asked she.

“For being the first one, it has been a unique experience, very interesting,” replied I.

“Cuba is not what it used to be,” said she.

“That I knew,” said I.

“This is, well, a system different from that of the past,” continued she. “Those who didn’t live it can’t adapt to it. If it is someone like you, you don’t know what it used to be. Cuba was a golden cup, a jewel. Those who know it, like me, who were born and raised here, and are now facing old age, have seen the changes.

When the afternoon ends, everyone goes home, and there’s this huge sadness. The youth by instinct is always searching for something; they go out walking, dancing, make noise. But it’s not like before; at 10pm, the ‘it’ people would go out to enjoy the nightlife. The cabarets would open, the tycoons would appear; they came from abroad,” said she.

She looked away, probably reminiscing a long time past. She even placed her index finger to her mouth as a sign of silence. This I have heard before; it signifies that ‘I shouldn’t be saying much further about this topic, as I might get into trouble.’

All I could do is look at her, smile sadly, and make a gesture of ‘I understand.’ But deep inside of me it was heartbreaking.

Sitting in that apartment was like a place almost frozen in time. This must have been a gorgeous home in its glory days, but unfortunately is not that any more.

After my meeting with the woman, I took a walk around the area and sat down in a bench in a shaded area. I looked at the people walking by, the surroundings, buildings.

It was my fourth day on this island and still feeling surreal that I was there. It was one of being on a strange place, mixed with that you’ve been here before. Maybe the similarities to my home country made me feel that way. Maybe I’ve been here in another life.

And then I asked myself, what would have happened if my marriage had been lived in this place, since my ‘x’ and family are from here?

Honestly, I think it would have been more miserable. Being in someone else’s turf would have made my existence even worse. The rules of engagement, the expectations; everything would have been at a much higher level to attain, probably unachievable.

Some of my ‘x’ in-laws would have taken advantage that I was on my own, with no friends and family to really upon, to tear me apart, just like they did.

And my x’s infidelities would have been the talk of the town. I would have felt helpless, numb, and not knowing what to do, other than suck it up and hope that it would all go away without much damage.

All the issues and situations that lead to the divorce would have been the same, but in a different scale. It would have been a more painful and difficult experience.

Would have I stayed when I became single? Probably I would have debated it like I did before. Would have taken my time, traveled, did things the way I wanted, like discovering a new world within the only one that I knew.

I would have opted to not running away from my reality, but instead proving to myself that I had the capacity to bounce back and overcome anything that I faced. That it was time to live life the way it should be, on my own terms. Just like I did.

Just like sitting on this bench and making this trip. I was told ‘no’ so many times by my ‘x’ (and now ex-friend) that I couldn’t do certain things, to which it only fueled my desire to prove them wrong. They’re not here to see it, but they will know it about one day. It will be a message of ‘how did she do that?’ They will see a side of me they didn’t care to see.

Who knows, maybe I would have made the decision of staying at that bench. After you become single again, you have to regain your place within yourself and the earth, and I believe I have accomplished that.

Maybe one of the reasons for making this trip (without me realizing it until now), was that I needed this question to be answered.

Perhaps it was meant for me to have come to this island because there’s still some sides of me that I yet have to recover, or uncover, and this place will be the vehicle for that.

I will definitely be back. The universe is telling me that I have to.

Maybe I was indeed here in another existence. Maybe I need to make more history of my own in this lifetime. And it’s looking pretty good right from where I’m sitting now.



“Let’s wrap this up,” said she. “Contrary to what you think, I feel the next year will be favorable.”

“So in the long run I will get married again?” asked I. She gives me a look of ‘no’. “No?? I’m not getting married again??”

“You will have (male) friends,” said she.

“But no marriage??” asked I again. “No??  Wow…” said I disappointed. (There will be two guys, and plenty others, but not one that will be ‘the one’? Dammit!!) “Will I at least be living with someone?”

“That’s something else. We all the need to be with somebody. That’s the same as the need to eat. We all want to have a good partner, even just to fight with, to be at our side,” said she.

“But the marriage part is not showing in the cards?” asked I.

“No. I still see the two guys; they’re not bad men,” said she.

“I’m not sure as of who these two are,” said I. “I was going out with someone until recently. But one day to the next, puff, he was gone. He later said that he was going through a divorce, that he has issues to work on. And I told him I wasn’t going to be his friend or anything since he already took me out of his life,” continued I.

“You will see that one,” continued she. (Not interested in that. I really hope he doesn’t even cross my path by accident.) “The stars incline, but do not oblige. You understand? A change will occur.” (That may well be, but I’m not changing my mind.)

“There’s a woman looking for you who envies you,” repeated her again. “She’s asking herself where you are, what’s your whereabouts. She has her man and that man had something to do with you. He had her, now he’s back with her. She knows who you are.”

“That’s the guy who’s isolated? I know a guy who used to be my lifelong friend. We were never a couple or had anything together. We were friends since adolescence,” replied I.

“He was living with a woman, he broke up with her, then was trying to get romantically involved with me, at the same time that he was seeing an ex-girlfriend of his without him telling me,” continued I.

“He later went back to that woman he had been living with. And that woman, she knows who that ex-girlfriend and I are,” said I. “She’s constantly searching what the ex-girlfriend and I are doing; she spends her whole day on that. More like obsessed. She hates that this guy and I were such close friends. She has bad intentions. She hates both of us.”

“She doesn’t have good intentions,” said the woman. “Look at these two cards, they keep showing up; they’re the most important ones. You will have good health foremost, men, job stability, a home, success. You will need to feel good about what you have.

People that are not well are those who are in a hospital or just want to stab you on the back. You know how to defend yourself. It might all not be what you hope for, but things will move forward.”

“So that guy might come back to… ask me for forgiveness?” asked I.

“‘Para comer mierda’ (to talk bullshit)”, replied she. “That’s it,” said she with a face of ‘that’s not happening’. “Know you know,” continued she. (So I was right all along. He might come back, but only to continue with his game of trying to trick me again.)

“So there’s two guys who will look for me?” asked I again to reconfirm.

“Yes, they want you, but to get what they want for their own benefit, not what you want,” answered she. (Of course…) “But, yet again, you never know; ‘matrimonio y mortaja, del cielo baja’ (marriage and shroud come down from the sky) as some would say. You might turn a corner and find someone. At first glance you might look at him and say ‘no’, but afterwards, who knows,” said she.

“But there’s still some time before that happens, right?” asked I. “Yes, some time,” replied she.

“So the marriage is not happening?” asked I again. “If not, there’s still the ‘juntera’ (coming together with someone),” said she.

“And the home will be to live with someone? And the kids?” asked I. “The children could be ‘postizos’ (belonging to someone else). I see children with you. You might not have the marriage, but other things will happen,” said she.

“So regarding that woman, you said she is sort of a witch. She’s thinking about me all the time,” said I. “‘Te tiene atravesada’ (someone who has pierced right through you),” replied she.

“And she tried to do some witchcraft on me? Has anything that she’s done caused any effect?” asked I. “She planted it (she lay the seeds). That she lay the foundation, she did. I saw it on the cards. Of course it has had some effect on you, even on your thoughts. Remember that the mind is very powerful,” said the woman.

“So what she wants from me is to…” said I. “Disappear. She wants you off her path,” replied she.

“I’m a threat to her, like you said,” continued I. “I live 4 hours away from this guy’s mother’s home. That’s what she feels threatened about. If it happens that the guy goes visit his mom, I can go there and see him.”

“That guy only wants from you to go out, dance, have a good time. Nothing else,” concluded she.

So there you have it. A guy who said that he wouldn’t allow anything or anyone (meaning the bitch) to come between our friendship, went back to a woman (who he said over and over that ‘she was on the side of the devil’) who wears her panties inside out (to which he referred to ‘a stupid thing to do’) as a way to ‘protect’ herself from someone else casting witchcraft on her.

He let go of my bestie and me to be with someone who wants me to go away, as in dead? You call this being religious, loving others? And you will come back just to bullshit me? Forget that!

Let me tell you this: any woman who does this underwear thing is disgusting. Her clothes are likely to be so stained that they deserve getting burned. She tried to do me harm, but in life, all comes back to you, and she will be the one that burns in hell in the end. Not even a chastity belt will save her.

Not only that, she’s a coward. If you are so confident about what you’re doing (the witchcraft, panties), why are you making equal effort to ‘protect’ yourself? Why do you keep throwing stones and hiding your hands?

Even more, she has less than zero self-esteem. Any woman who has been dumped by a guy who was behaving badly with other women for almost 2 years, when he was supposedly trying to save the relationship, and accepts him back like nothing has happened, is doing a disservice to herself.

You’re communicating that it’s okay to go back with a toxic guy who hated you and never loved your child, talked endless trash behind your back, and even was unfaithful to you with more women that you’ll ever know.

It has nothing to do with religion, faith, or getting what you want. It’s called having no love or respect for oneself. Is selling yourself short. It’s saying that there’s nothing better for you out there other than this person.

Is witchcraft all you’ve got? Yep, it is. You may have forgiven him, but you won’t forget that he left you once and can do it again, and dislikes your child to the max. How much? This guy once wanted to beat the living daylights out of your son, remember?

And if he hasn’t married you by now, he never will. You’re the one who should cast some crappy spell on yourself and disappear out of my life, including him.

And this goes to my ex-friend as well, of whom I remember never saying anything good about you, other than he liked ‘having a hot woman waiting for him at home when he got back from work’. This is not a woman you love, but merely a whore in disguise that you use to your convenience.

“I pity the fool that falls in love with you. / (Oh shit she’s a gold digger) / Well (Just thought you should know nigga) / (Ooooooh) / I’ve got some news for you / Fuck you and fuck her too. / And although there’s pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a… / Fuck you! / (Ooh, ooh, ooh)” –Cee Lo Green, Forget You

All things (good and bad) must come to an end and this is it for me and this guy. I’ve said all that I needed to say and I’m glad it’s over.

I lost a friend, gained a new one; been lied upon, found the truth; been falsely accused, found the real person within me; been cast a bad spell, received blessings from above.

I may not get all that I wish for as the spiritual lady said, but I have health, friends, a home, job, family.

Yes, the lady is right: I’m lucky in more ways than one. I have all that I need and it seems the best is yet to come. I will be grateful for everything (as she said I should) and can only look forward to what the future is holding for me.

It’s all a matter of how well you shuffle and play your deck of cards. That’s it. The end.



“A good fortune awaits you at the end of this year or the beginning of the next. A good development,” said the spiritual woman. “What type of development?” asked I. “That you will have a job, health, will travel,” replied she.  “That’s having good luck. Some people don’t have a job or might be sick in a hospital. There’s people in this town that just want to run you over.”

“You’re a woman with luck. You didn’t have children because destiny didn’t want you to,” continued she. “We drag with us the last stage we had on earth. There’s people that did bad things in their last one. Now you pay for what you did before. We come to reap what we sow.”

“I see a very good end and start of the new year, said she. “You will remember that I told you so. A good year primarily with health, work, developments, activities.”

“I also see that you’re going to meet a short guy,” continued she. Dammit! She’s referring to a rebound guy I briefly dated that dumped me about a month before this trip. Won’t get into details (that’s for the next story), but will say I did get to tell him how I felt about it all.

“Right now you think about love,” said she. “Yes, because I wish I had someone,” replied I. “There’s one you know that has a light tanned skin. And there’s the older man. I don’t know if this one is blonde or gray haired. They will come to help you ‘trotar en el caballo’ (ride the horse) as some would say,”continued she in a laughing tone. (Ride in what sense? Sound so politically incorrect.)

“I’ve met many men, but none lasts,” said I. “In here nobody cares about anyone. Nobody wants anything with anyone; nobody gives anything to anyone,”said she. (Sad, but true.)

“Like I said, favorable changes come your way towards the end and start of the year,” continued she. “Lots of men.” “Oh, okay…” said I unsure as to whether to feel joy or scared. “That’s good, isn’t it?” asked she laughing again. (I guess so…) “But ‘the one’ won’t happen yet, right?” asked I.

“What I want is to have a home with someone…,” continued I. “Not be alone when you get to be old age. That won’t happen,” said she. “You will have much success, many developments in your life; that’s what the cards are showing. This is how the end of your life will look like. You will achieve what you want,” continued she.

“Instead of lacking one, you will have two,” said she. “What, kids?” asked I. “No, friends. They’re interested in you, but just want to have fun, drink, conversation. (She holds up the two cards with male figures that represents them.) They will give you some distraction and you won’t be alone. There’s one that’s a liar, tells lots of lies,” continued she. (Are we back to my ex-friend who definitely is?)

“All the guys I meet, they tell you lots of stories. They’re with you and then disappear. They end up giving you all these excuses. No one wants to be in a committed relationship,” said I. “No one wants anything with anyone. Nobody wants to be responsible for you. Nobody wants to give you anything. To get something from you or get confortable with, yes, anything else, no,” said she.

“You will be better off next year. It will be an adventurous one,” continued she. “That man with the grey hair, he’s waiting for you. You know his mom who’s from another country.” (Wait, are we talking about my ex-friend and his mother? He’s not old, but the grey hair, excess weight, and else makes him look way older beyond his actual age.)

“That old man, he’s from abroad. This is the one. He has a tanned skin, but not so dark. Has good hair. He’s the one whose got your back. You know him.” continued she. (I do? Does she mean American?) “There’s some old men who want to get comfy with a younger woman. We get to a point in our lives that we open up ‘las tendederas’ (the clothes line; that we put ourselves out there). There will be two guys with you at the same time, the young and old one.” (Hip hip hooray?)

“And you mentioned that I have a friend who is isolated who will come back. Isolated means that he’s in a bad environment?”, asked I.

“Being isolated is one thing. It means that he’s in a location far from you,” replied she. (That may be so, but truth is he has chosen to isolate and distance himself from those who cared about him and only associates with people that only share his views. And that bitch is in part responsible for it. He’s not in a healthy environment at all.)

“You have thoughts about love. Which one do you love? That one you don’t see? The old one?” asked she.

So confused about who’s who here. I’m not seeing anyone and not interested in seeing my ex-friend again. If it’s someone new, then I will have to wait and ‘see’ what the fuzz is all about.

My bestie believes this guy will one day reappear. She’s willing to listen to him, but I’m not, especially if he comes back looking for us after he breaks up with the bitch. That’s the only way it will happen because he now knows my bestie and I are friends. So that game of lies and playing around with us like he did before is over. Everything now will be under our rules.

The reason why I’m not interested in listening to him is because he always told me that ‘uno no es plato de segunda mesa’ (one is not a second serving table), meaning, no rebound guys, or guys that date and dump you, later wanting to come back with you after they had been with someone else.

My feeling is that if I allow him to talk to me, he might say he was wrong, etc., but will quickly turn things around to blame me for ending the relationship, preach his religious fanaticism and all else, to which I will abruptly end the conversation and block him again.

On the other hand, I might let him. I want him to see that him not wishing me well (or ‘te veo mal’) for not doing what he demanded I should do, including forgiving my ex-husband, has turned out the opposite way: my life became better without you.

I may still be missing a significant other, but have lived life on my own terms, forgiving only myself, and with no regrets. My inner peace has increased and find joy in doing things that challenge me, like traveling to Cuba.

I will tell him, “you’re the one who’s wrong. All that negativity and bad wishes didn’t affect me a bit. I don’t care what you have to say now or later. I don’t need you. Please go away.” I will close the door on him and whatever else that represented this long gone friendship. I will apply to him exactly what he taught me.

I’ve learned my lesson well and will only hope that he does as well.

 

 

 



“And there’s a guy with like a tanned skin. The men are like that where you live,” said the spiritual woman.

“There’s lot of changes happening for you starting now. As always, some good, some bad. Changes with friends, work, places. The changes will come spontaneously, but are not bad ones. There’s some people that are stuck in the same situation over and over. But these ones are favorable,” continued she.

“You’re still young,” said she. “Well, not that much,” replied I. “You still can have kids. How old are you? About 50, right?” continued she. “Correct. The doctor told me my time with that is up,” replied I. “I know of someone who gave birth at 60,” said she. (If you say so…)

She then continued by saying that I have a job, and mentioning other details about family members.

“And who is that woman that you have to see?” asked she. (Why does this bitch is still coming up??)

“When the year ends you will see someone crying,” said she. (Hmm, I wonder if it is this guy; my bestie has always said one day he will deeply regret all he’s done. Maybe her dream will indeed come true.)

“Guys look for you for what you have, but even with your job and else, you’re still alone,” said she. (That’s because they’re after getting what they need [sex obviously] and whether you give it to them or not, they will ultimately dump you. You’re just disposable. It’s all about them, not the other person.)

“And who is the older white guy?”, asked she. “Someone as white as you. He’s coming to your home. He’s a good man. Gets along with you. Maybe a family member?”

“Oooh,” continued she. “Have you done other readings before? Have you ever been told that you have a winged spirit of an indian? This is a good spirit that protects you. He walks with you.” (Nice; he’s probably been fighting off all the bad vibes that this bitch has tried to instill in me.)

“Someone who wanted to get married, didn’t get married,” said she. “There was someone who wanted to marry me, but didn’t??” asked I. “No, not with you specifically. It could have been other people who said they would get married, but didn’t, and ended up living together. Who are they?” continued she. “They didn’t go forward with the marriage, they broke up, later got back together to continue their ‘relación de cama’ (a bed relationship or based on sex). That’s what happened.”

OMFG! Still going with this guy and the bitch. And no surprise about the bed thing. Incredible how this guy is in this relationship just for the sex. His mind is really screwed up!

“One time I was with a girlfriend of mine and this guy at the beach,” told me my bestie once. “My girlfriend is somewhat overweight and not the prettiest one. This guy started checking her out and had a grin on his face that he wanted to screw her. I looked at him and said, ‘hey, can you be less obvious??’ His face quickly changed and said ‘What?’ like he didn’t know what I was talking about. So sick. He’ll go for anyone who spreads their legs for him.”

“In spite of everything that has happened to you, you can’t complain about luck, because you’re a person that walks through life with luck,” continued she.

“An older white man will go to your home. Is he coming for your mom or maybe for you?” asked the woman. “I don’t know. My mom and I live in different countries. And my closest family members have already passed,” replied I.

“At the end of everything, life still smiles at you,” continued she.

“You have many suitors, guys. They come to see you because of work, for friendship or other things. Good relationships, good luck, things that develop into good things” continued she. (Not really sure on the last part though.)

“Still seeing this man,” continued she. “The older man? But not as a companion, right?” asked I. “I don’t know what he’s up to,” replied she. “Even if he’s older, but you like him, who cares? Being alone, even less at old age, is not good.”

You’re right again, lady. Being single is not always fabulous, especially if you’ve been without a boyfriend for years and you feel that won’t change any time soon.

So who is this man that she keeps talking about? Will it be someone I haven’t met yet? It has to because no one else fits the profile. And, how old are we talking about?

Universe, please,  I don’t need to sweat excessively over this like I have already on this extreme tropical weather. Can you please send me something ‘refreshing’ my way?

 



As I’m starting to finally say all that I needed about this unfortunate incident in my life, I’ve realized that as much as you may try to move on and completely get over it, sometimes something will always remain unresolved. Maybe that’s because it’s never really over until it’s over, meaning that even after doing your part, if the other person doesn’t end it completely, there will always be this link that just refuses to break.

Case in point: I recently made a trip to Cuba and one of the things in my agenda was to get a cards reading from a spiritual woman. It’s not that I hadn’t done it before, but thought someone abroad would give me a different take on everything, especially matters of the heart.

This woman lived by herself in this one-bedroom apartment on a 13th floor. It had an amazing view of the ocean. She took me to her bedroom where her furniture was as old as her, with many pieces being dusty or broken down.

Her bed was unmade and she quickly threw a blanket over it. “Once you make your bed, all else gets organized,” said she. I looked around the room while sitting on a chair, wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.

We were both close to the edge of the bed which now doubled as a table. She was using Spanish cards or “barajas” to do the reading. She would shuffle them and then ask me to separate them in three groups. She would then turn over one group at a time and do the reading.

“You carry a loving thought with you,” started she. I put a face that I couldn’t understand what she meant. “Think about it and you’ll figure it out.”

“There’s a guy with a slight dark skin. Do you know this guy?” I did a fast checklist of all ones I’ve known and nobody fit the profile. I shook my head as in ‘no, I don’t’.

“You want to have kids?” continued the woman. “I wanted to, but I can’t any more,” replied I. She did correctly mention that I’ve had troubles in the past with my reproductive system, but successfully overcame all the treatments and surgeries I had when I tried to have a family.

She was accurate about details that pertained to my parents, family and me. I was really listening to those things that didn’t made sense in the present and tried to find an explanation to them when she throws me a curve ball.

“There’s this woman who is searching for you constantly. She can’t see you because she’s somewhere else, but is looking for you. There’s a man involved with her. And I also see witchcraft,” said she. OMFG! Even here the bitch and this guy come up. “She’s like…,” continued the woman in a tone referring to someone who is chasing you desperately. “She thinks you’re with this guy,” said she. “No, I’m not with anyone…,” said I.

“You have a male friend that is isolated,” said she. Oh boy, still more of my ex-friend. “He will come back to see you.”

“You might say you’re not with anyone, but you have this whole mess of love affairs. The one who came, the one who left, the one that didn’t…,” said she. Yep, you got that right lady.

“And that woman out there has a mate, and is waiting for you; it seems that she thinks, or have been told, that you have something with him. And she’s asking herself, ‘where is she now?’ Do you know of that situation? You know her well.” asked the woman. I gave her a look of ‘you have no idea!’

Bitch, I’m on vacation! Enough of it already!

 



{August 15, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 48 – Thank God!

My vacation continued without a hitch, that is until my bestie, a former high school classmate of mine (that’s friend of my friend and also lives there), and I received a weird friend request through social media.

The woman in the picture looked underage, with short shorts and shirt in a pose that made her look like those photos prostitutes use to post their ads on Craigslist. The city listed was our hometown.

Bitch, really??? How more obvious can you be? All three of us get the same fake profile, at the exact same time, and you’re so stupid to include the city that my bestie and I are from? You know this information because this guy told you. And, once again, you reaffirmed that you have nothing better to do than spying on our lives 24/7.

You may have said that my bestie doesn’t leave this guy alone, but you clearly are doing the same with us. If you were really sure of ‘your man’ and whatever thing you think you two have, why all this drama? Why are you so obsessed about knowing anything and everything about us?

Why are all those couple photos in your profile? Why do you need to continuously post them (especially old ones) where you are embracing this guy like an octopus does when it has captured its prey (as in ‘this is mine, mine, mine’) to try to make everyone believe that you’ve got the biggest catch of the sea?

Because not everything that glitters its gold. Because when you’re constantly an attention whore and need to get validation from others, there’s a crack somewhere that’s slowly chipping away the surface and revealing the true nature of what’s happening: your relationship (or lack of thereof) is not picture perfect.

My bestie quickly took a screen shot and forwarded it to this guy with a lengthy message that conveyed this bitch has no business sticking her nose on our affairs, that our friendship is our problem, that she has no right insulting us, that he’s been an ass for allowing her to do whatever she wants and not doing anything about it, etc.

As usual, ‘se lo pasó por donde el sol no le brilla’ (he let it pass by where the sun doesn’t shine on him). But my bestie, being the ultra smart woman that she is, documents and saves everything, so if indeed one day this guy decides to show his sorry fat ass and tries to build a whole case against her (and most probably to me as well), my bestie will shut him down even before he starts his opening arguments.

“I will tell you this again: that bitch will never let go of that guy. If you and I hadn’t been part of his life, this story would have probably ended by now. In her mind she won and posts all that garbage on her profile to get back at us. It’s her way of reminding everyone that in the end she’s the one who got the man, that she’s supposedly better than us for achieving that,” said I to my bestie.

“She may say that she forgave him, but she doesn’t trust him,” continued I. “He dumped her once and was playing both of us at the same time (even her), and can do it again. That is, the part of leaving her. And she knows it.

If she dumps him, it means she lost to you and me. It’s open season from there on for either one of us, or both, to get back into the game again. Except I’m not interested.

And her displaying him like a trophy, that’s typical mentality of people like her who are low-class. They think they hit the lottery jackpot by ‘winning’ a guy who is more than her: educated, with a better upbringing, better job. Because she basically grew up with nothing and has nothing else going on for her (and is not making the effort to change that), or ‘owns’ anything, than this guy, they take their ‘property’ very seriously. It’s normal for them to ‘defend’ what’s ‘theirs’ in every way possible.

She thinks she improved her social status, that she’s a success because she made it better than her friends and family. Unfortunately, what has happened here is that when you get involved with someone whose social class is below yours, you end up becoming the same trailer park trash as they are,” continued I.

“Had he stayed with me, none of this would have happened,” said my bestie. “But, that’s what he chose. And everything he has done will end up biting him back.”

“Mark my words, he’s going to die alone,” said I. “Better yet, let that bitch stay with him through his golden years when he can’t work any more, becomes an ever crazier fanatical guy, when his mom is gone, when he gets sick, when all the things that he thought were important are no longer there.

She will be next to him still doing the same show, controlling him, and spying on us on social media like a psycho. She will never stop hating or letting us go. I’m fine with that. She will end up as deranged as him.

That you and I remain friends? Only time will tell. But we’ll definitely have a life way better than theirs. God took this guy away from us because we deserve good, and he knew this person would hold us back to reaching our happiness. That, my friend, is a blessing and we should always be grateful for that,” concluded I.

Thank you!

 

 

 

 



I was really happy for making this trip. The location where my bestie lived is one I wanted to visit again, plus celebrating my birthday with her would be memorable either way it happened.

I kept silent about my plans in social media, as I didn’t want ‘certain people’ to realize what I was doing. I only did a check-in at the connecting airport.

I arrived late in the afternoon after my bestie finished work. She picked me up and went straight to have a drink. First order of the night: getting a selfie together and officially revealing to the world that my bestie and I are now friends.

We both sported this huge smile while doing a one-hand hug around our waists. But differently from the photos these two idiots have posted, you could tell this was the real deal just by looking at it. It’s all genuine.

We weren’t striking a pose like they do, one that pretends to make you believe that their relationship is so great, that they’re soooo happy together, that their love has triumphed over everything, that there’s no better example of what a couple should be than them.

This was just a photo of 2 women who knew each other from the past, who came together again under unusual circumstances, but now are bonded for life.

I had a lot of fun that night with her and other friends of her, and we posted anything and everything that we were doing. We both knew that probably most sooner than later the bomb would explode, and it did.

Two days later I was with my bestie in her car when I received a text from a number I didn’t recognize. I showed the text to her.

“Is this the bitch?” asked I to my bestie.

“Yep, that sure it’s her. I know that number very well, as she has texted and insulted me far too many times for talking to that guy. What does it say?” asked she.

The first text was a screen image of an email that my bestie had sent to this guy. It basically stated that, ‘if you have plans of marrying her, please don’t do it. Don’t allow yourself to be pressured. I know you want to be with someone and have a stable home. But she’s not the one… maybe I’m not either. But she’s not the one.’

I didn’t read the date of the email, but it was probably recent. I made my trip on September and on October was when the supposed wedding that his mom had mentioned was to occur. And what better time to do it over a long weekend?

“I didn’t send that message because I’m desperate,” said my bestie. “At the end of the day he’ll do whatever the heck he wants. He’s that stubborn. But he’s clearly not in his right mind, so if I still have any influence on him, hopefully he’ll listen to me. Any other texts?”

“Yes, it reads: ‘So this is your new great friend! She talks trash about my man but doesn’t leave him alone. Ask her to tell you about that time when she was going through a life or death situation. Such an adolescent attitude. This is the great friend that you’re now showing off to everyone!’ How trashy of her to bring this out and truly bad of him for letting her stick her nose in such a private personal matter!”, said I.

Note: this is the essence of the real text; I won’t disclose the nature of the issue to protect my friend. But I will say that the message confirms that this bitch is a cyberstalker of both my profile and that of my bestie.

Second, it also proves that this guy, who used to be my friend and said repeatedly that ‘he wouldn’t allow this bitch to come between our friendship of so many years’, was giving free range to this low-level trash to spy on everything personal of his. Even worse, after many other occasions when she has insulted my bestie over texts and my bestie forwards everything to this guy, this guy does nothing about it to stop it. What a loser!

This bitch kept sending insulting message (which I refuse to post not to give her attention), to which I basically replied in several texts that, “Who the fuck is this?”, “If you have any issues with that person speak to her directly”, “Are you talking to me?”, “What the hell is your problem?”

Exactly, what the fuck is your problem bitch? If you’re so ‘brave’, why don’t you show your big fat ass face and admit who you are?

Reality is deep inside you still think this guy and I have something going on, in spite that this guy was the one who betrayed me. You may have said that you forgave him, but you still don’t trust him completely.

What’s really bothering you is that now my bestie and I have joined forces when you thought you had ‘won’ in managing to have this guy delete us out of his life.

And you really think I’m interested in this guy? Please, not even on my worst days!

My bestie forwarded every text to this guy who, in his usual indifferent manner, didn’t respond in a way that implied he would put an end to what the bitch does.

“Hopefully this guy will kick her ass big time. He has told her over and over not to do it,” said my bestie.

“Yeah, but she still does it because he’s allowing her to do it. If he really took matters in his own hands, he wouldn’t allow her to have access to any personal email or profiles of his.

What they’re both doing is evil; they think they are better than us and have all the right to do what they do.

They’re the typical bullies; they strike and when you strike back, they turn everything around to make it look you’re the one who started the whole thing,” said I. “But I’m glad we ruined their weekend. Ha ha ha ha!”

“Yep,” said my bestie. “I can only imagine this bitch getting all enraged, showing the photo to this guy and having a big argument with him over us, which she has done before.

She loves to start a fight with him while screaming at the top of her lungs. Instead of him fighting back, he walks away; then the bitch follows him still screaming at him and won’t let go of the fight, as she always wants to win. His non-fighting behavior makes her even angrier.

And his face when he realized you and I are now friends, that we know the whole truth about him, priceless! He didn’t see that one coming! I’m sure he’s close to getting the runs!”, said she.

It was about time that the real story came out! And them two idiots having an argument over us? Sweet! But also sour.

Sweet in that I got back at this guy, even if it is in a small way. There’s still a lot more, but it’s a start.

Sour in that he’s probably more hateful of me and my bestie for what we did. And that he won’t change who he is, feel sorry for what he has done, and will probably never ask for forgiveness.

At this point, I don’t care. My plan worked out and I’m having the time of my life.

What do I wish for this upcoming milestone in my life? Love, peace, happiness, and that my bestie and I remain honest, true, and loyal to each other.

That a year from now I will look back at all this and feel proud of myself for speaking out my mind and seeing how much I’ve grown as a person.

That one day, this guy will get an ‘unexpected gift’. “I feel like sending him all that you’ve written once you’re done. It will hit him like a pie in the face”, said my bestie once.

Tastes to me more like ‘icing on the birthday cake’. And you, my ex-friend, can have all of it. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 



{August 1, 2016}   The Ex-Friend 46 – Fly away

After the unfortunate incident that my now ex-friend decided to strike upon me, I realized it was best to detox from him just like any other negative people or situations that have come across my life.

My bestie and I are firm believers in that ‘what goes around, comes around’ and that, either the Lord makes things happen for people to come face to face to finalize pending matters, or we make it happen ourselves, with the one above providing the right place and time for it.

“I have this recurring dream where I am sitting at this garden outside a church, praying,” said she. “And all of a sudden, this guy pulls in in his car in a hurry, gets out of it and comes running towards me shouting, ‘¡Me engañaron! Ayúdame’ (I’ve been betrayed to! Help me).

His demeanor is one that he’s all broken down, defeated, that he was wrong all along and now he’s looking for me to forgive him. I calmy look at him and say something like, ‘I can’t save you; you’re the only one that can save itself.’

It may sound like a scene from a movie, but I know it will happen of him looking for me when the bitch kicks his ass to the curb. I may miss and still think about him, but I will never take him back. God made him go away because it’s the best thing for me,” said she.

“I don’t miss him at all. I sometimes miss that guy that I used to know, but he’s gone in all sense of the word. And going to the past makes you go backwards. As much as the good outweighs the bad, the magnitude of the bad is so big that’s what stays with you, unfortunately. I hope he never looks for me again. I won’t forgive him; he doesn’t deserve it, even less when he’s got this forgiveness thing all twisted up,” said I.

“I can understand why you feel this way. The way he lied to you, used you, and stabbed you, while he was seeing me at the same time, without you knowing it, that’s all wrong. I won’t take away that he equally played with me, but he definitely took more advantage of you. He knows who I am and what to expect from me; that’s why it probably didn’t go farther than it did,” said she.

“What we need to do is what you said before, for you and I to come together somehow and get back at that bitch and him. Having him specifically in the mix, I think that’s something it should happen as in your dream, between the two of you, when the time comes.

Listen, this year I will celebrate a milestone on my birthday. 10 years back, when I was still married, I told my ex I wanted to leave town to do something different. Also around that time, our city had survived a hurricane and the area was really depressing. When I flew there and saw everything green and breezy, I fell in love with the place and made me wish to go back someday. It would be very special to me if I could be there again,” said I.

“That’s a great idea. Would love to have you over and celebrate such an important date,” replied she.

“And, I was thinking, if these two see us together on social media, they’re really going to hit the fan,” continued I.

“That’s right! Because they don’t know that you and I are talking,” said she.

“And friends! I know we’re a little bit ahead, but I would post something closer to my arrival like, ‘a dear friend from the past is coming over to visit’. That way when the bitch reads it, she may think that it has to do with him.”

“Brilliant! It will be something like, ‘last year I went their way, this one they come to me’. When you find out about flights, etc., let me know and will schedule everything,” said she.

“Great; sound like a plan,” concluded I.

 



et cetera