The New M.E. Generation











After this confusing weekend, this guy and I continued communicating, but in a limited way. He was either working all the time, and whatever free time he had was basically to run errands or go to church, where he was again in prayer groups or activities until late hours of the night.

The next incident that we had together some time after was that I copied him a text message that another guy I’ve been having an ‘on and off’ relationship had sent me. The situation with this other guy was that he would get upset with me either because of something I said, or as a result of my actions or behavior towards him. Whenever I said ‘no’ to him (like going out), this second guy would get really mad and would vent out everything that he hated about me via texting.

Even worse, the guy would write that he didn’t want me in his life any more, to later look for me again. Instead of me cutting ties with him, I would get into this very bad vibe of questioning myself that really took me to a negative place, and agreed to see him again, to try to make things better, to which encounters would fail over and over.

On this particular occasion, I got his text during a work day and had to hide my face so people would not see me cry. I was so sad and confused I tried calling my friend for support, to which he didn’t answer, and even ask him for his opinion to the text, to which he completely ignored the whole day, in spite me telling him I was emotionally not doing good.

When my then friend finally called me back, I was driving home from work, and he had this very, very, angry tone of voice. It felt like some diabolic spirit had taken over him.

“The reason why this is happening to you of having problems with guys, or not having a boyfriend, is because you haven’t forgiven you ex spouse,” said he.

Now I was the one who became really angry and demonic. “WTF??? You know what? I don’t have to, because I forgave him so many times, and he still cheated on me, disrespected me, gave him a second chance when he separated from me the first time, put up with things that you have no idea about.

He doesn’t deserve being forgiven because I did it so much, he got used to it as an entitlement and he didn’t appreciate my gestures. He doesn’t know what forgiveness really means and how valuable that is when someone gives it to you. He needs to remember how much pain he caused me, so hopefully that sticks in his head and maybe create some change in him.

I have lived all my life pleasing other people or doing what they expect of me. They are happy when I do, but don’t care if I’m not. If I say ‘no’ to others, then I’m the one with the attitude problem or the bitch. If I do as they comply, everything seems to run well; there’s no arguments, confrontations, fights, but reality is all is not good.

And did that help me with my marriage? No! My ex still divorced and remarried within a few months. Besides, who are you to tell me this when you have never forgiven your father or sister??” concluded I.

When he heard the last part, he got stuck on his words because he knew what I said backfired at him. Here he was trying to preach me his religious fanaticism to make me look bad and he be the ‘omnipotent’.

He kept arguing with me trying to win, only to find I wasn’t keeping quiet, or backing down, and snapping at him any argument he said.

The sad part about this is that he never apologized with me. He used to give me advice, listen, comfort me. Now he was just a bitter, angry, stubborn, closed minded, hypocritical, manipulative man.

Me, it has taken me a lot of effort and tears to get to a better emotional state, and wasn’t going to allow anyone to ruin it, even if it was at the expense of our friendship. Besides, he was the one to blame for all this mess.

And forgive for what I’m about to say: have you ever thought that maybe the reason why everything is not working out for you is because you are doing things the wrong way? Doing what the church or bible says is no guarantee that place in heaven you think so much you have earned will happen for you.

To forgive someone else is a privilege. In reality, one has to do the forgiveness to oneself and ‘disconnect’ from the other person as much as possible. This is what I did in my case; I came to terms that in spite all that I did to save my marriage, my ‘x’did everything to destroy it.

I don’t want to forgive him because I want those emotions inside of me to be a reminder that I will never again allow any other guy to do to me what my ‘x’ did. I know it’s not the Catholic way, but my way, the one that will give me the peace and strength to move on, which is what the One above want us to have.

Does this all mean I won’t forgive this guy? Let’s put it this way: “eso no sirve” (not worth it) is another quote of his that he used to use when he gave me his opinion about guys I’ve known. So, then, if I ‘practice what he preaches’, then you know what the answer is.

 



As the movie went on, I kept looking at the screen and this guy continued texting, stopping from time to time to speak random topics and share his drink with me. I would take a small sip each time he offered it, as the taste was too strong for me. At one point I declined drinking from it because I wasn’t enjoying it. He may have been in the need of getting a buzz, but that’s one thing I was not interested in sharing with him.

I don’t know how it happened, but I started talking about my dating situation, specifically about this one guy I had mentioned to him before, that was a good man, but always wanted to kiss me, in spite of me telling him that I liked him as a person, but not enough to be engaging in kissing.

“I was at the apartment of a male friend of this guy having dinner with some people, and out of the blue he says to me in front of everyone, ‘Emma, you and I should live together’. I opened my eyes wide and shook my head fast from side to side, to which he said, ‘why not??’, and I replied ‘because I’m not in love with you’; he didn’t say anything else afterwards,” explained I to my then friend.

“He later walked me to my car and said, ‘give me a kiss!!’, to which I did to get him off my back,” continued I. “He saw that I wasn’t happy about it and says, ‘girl, you’re so difficult to get a kiss from’. I mean, he always manages to get one from me, but it’s mostly embarrassing in front of others or in a restaurant. I know I have to disconnect from him if I want to avoid this situation from happening over and over. It’s so imposed it just takes the fun away of kissing all together.”

All of a sudden, this guy stops texting, turns around and says something like, “maybe he should have kissed you like this?”, to give me a quick kiss right on my lips. He then turned around again and continued as he was before.

I was completely caught off guard by what he did and didn’t like it. For starters, I had the taste of his drink on my lips which disgusted me. It also made me wonder if he had been trying to get me into a buzz so some action beyond the movie would happen.

Looking at it all closely, it was the perfect scenario for him, and was just waiting for the right moment to make it happen. And after his past offers of us getting together as a couple, he knew chances of us seeing each other were basically running out and needed to act, fast.

I don’t recall how the night ended, but definitely not anything that transcended his kiss.

The next day, I woke up with the plan of leaving as soon as he would or before he did. His mom was in the kitchen and he sitting by the TV, still using his phone non-stop as the night before.

I was sitting at the table having breakfast when this guys suddenly asks me, “hey, do you remember my girlfriend from high school??!!” (using her nickname), to which I replied, “barely; I have this memory of you two together at a school activity or something, where you introduced her to me. You two were holding hands. Besides that, one time the school she studied at hosted a university fair, and she was the one who prepared my agenda for the day. At the bottom of the page she wrote ‘Prepared by (nickname)’ and added a smiley face.”

My friend looked at me and said nothing else. I didn’t question him about his inquiry about her, don’t know why. I guess I was so into what happened the previous night and me driving back home that I didn’t give it a second thought, like that maybe the mystery person behind the texts could have been her? Which means that now there’s a third woman present in this guy’s life to which participation and motives I have no clue about.

I mean, I would much rather prefer that this guy ends with her high school love than that bitch he lived with. But after last night’s event, question is, where do I stand in all this?

I packed and else after breakfast and got ready to go. It was about mid-morning and this guy was driving his car to the ‘hateful place’, so wanted to take as much advantage of the daylight as he could.

We did the usual of hugging each other before leaving, taking a picture together, saying ‘drive safely’ and ‘call me when you get home’, and look at each other as if this would be the last time we would meet, well, at least I did.

There was this weird feeling inside me that I couldn’t decipher then and very different from other occasions, but I ignored it. It was time to go home and get back to my own life, the one that he has been partially part of for some time.

Will anything get back as before? Probably not. Only time will tell; no, make that what he tells me over time. But, will it be the truth or perhaps the ‘kiss of death’?



Once my friend settled down his luggage, ate, spoke with his mom and ‘bro’, he mellowed down as if nothing had happened.

After it got late and everyone headed either home or to their rooms to end the night, my friend brought with him his computer so we could watch a movie or something. He also had a rum drink that, once again, looked really loaded, as one of those that hadn’t changed much in color, in spite of the amount of ice in it.

Regarding the computer, that was an item that when the nasty breakup occurred, this guy decided to leave with the bitch so ‘she could have a computer to work from’ or something.

One of his three cars he also originally left with her so she could ‘have a way to move around to work and so forth’ during the transition. His plan was that in one of those trips back to that hateful place for reasons I don’t recall, my then friend was to direct his ex where to leave the car with the keys and computer inside in a location determined by him, so the buddy of his (the one he was living at the house until getting kicked out) could pick it up and take it to my friend.

Don’t get me wrong, if you hate your ex so much and things ended in the worst of ways, why are you still helping him/her? Even with the mobile phone, he was still paying for her plan in his account months after they separated.

According to my friend, after he left her, she was calling a girlfriend of hers every 5 minutes or less, calls which were detailed in the bill, as the girlfriend was now ‘mi paño de lágrimas’ (my tears cloth) who was helping her deal with the situation.

My friend referred to this girlfriend as ‘la amiga putona de ella’ (the slut girlfriend of hers), ‘alguien del lado del diablo’ (someone who’s on the devil’s side), ‘someone you can’t trust’, even implying that they had become so close, both females were now in a lesbian relationship, and this guy hates ‘certain kinds of people’, which makes matters worse for him.

Even more, this guy was convinced that the ex’s unwillingness to change or try to save the relationship was to blame for this other person who was influencing and advising her for the worst, making this guy look as ‘the one who caused the relationship to fall apart’ and that ‘he was no longer needed as the bitch had replaced him with someone else’.

So, again, if your goal is to cut all ties with someone who doesn’t deserve anything good from you, the one above, life and even earth itself, why go as far as still paying for her mobile when she’s continuing to take advantage of you?

And all these stories I would hear over and over for more than a year, to see that my friend never got over or couldn’t accept this relationship was the biggest failure in his life. He kept looking for answers in religion and beyond, always thinking that if she did as he said of ‘getting spiritual and psychological help’, things could be turned around for the better, which to that day weren’t happening and probably never would.

The ‘positive’ side of all this was that in between his failed job in the Pacific, coming back home and else, he had cut back greatly on all comments and conversations of this nature, until now.

I was lying down in the bed watching a movie in the computer and he was sitting to my left on the ledge of the bed, almost facing back to me, texting non-stop, while also having a conversation with me.

I knew right away who he was texting to, which made me very upset. This guy and that ex of his had also been engaged in a ‘war of words’ in every social medium possible, a battle of ‘he said, she said’ that would only escalate in more fights and arguments.

‘Every time I try to talk to her in person, she sits there with an angry face, sporting an attitude of having her fists up like a boxer, ready to punch me,’ said he to me before. ‘She won’t admit she’s wrong and has no interest on making changes on her part.’

I kept looking at the screen and made faces to myself, pretending I was reacting to what I was watching, as I was contemplating either to tell him how upsetting and disrespectful it was of him having the nerve of communicating with that bitch next to me, even more when he had offered me to have a relationship with me in the past.

But I was not at home and, out of respect to his mom, knew another kind of battle could happen there and now, which I preferred not to unfold. I had already told him that ‘I wanted no business with him if he want back to her’, and I was leaving the next day, so the best was to look the other way (at the computer that is), and make believe I didn’t see anything.

“If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit; no exceptions,” said the male character in the movie. I’ve seen this one countless times and get emotional each instance I see that scene, which was speaking directly at me.

“Thank you; you’ve given me a lot to think about,” replies the female character.

Yep, the only guy in my life who used to care about me was now genuinely playing a character that was proving me otherwise. It wasn’t a matter that I needed to think about it to figure it out, but rather thinking of what I was to do when the weekend was over.

“Do you want to save this relationship?” asks another female character. “Yes,” replies a second male character in an unsure tone. I looked at this guy and asked myself the same thing, only to see that the answer was right there before me. I’ll take it as a no.

 

 



I repeated the same route as before, except that this time I used the GPS that this guy ‘lend’ me, which made my drive stress-free.

I arrived at the mom’s house a little after lunch time and about an hour before his airplane arrived. His best friend that he worked with at the airline (to which he referred to as ‘his brother, my absolute best friend’) arrived shortly after I did, as he was to pick up the other guy at the airport.

It was nice seeing him again especially after the fun times we had together before. I understood why my then friend felt the way he did about him. It was almost as if this ‘bro’ was the male version of myself. The ‘bromance’ was as strong as my friendship used to be.

The mom had food ready for everyone, so we sat down to eat. The ‘bro’ literally gulped down his food; the mom was really looking forward to seeing his son and just wanted to go pick him up.

I, on the other hand, was very hungry, and wanted to see my friend, but had no intention of eating quickly. There was something within me that told me to slow down, to enjoy that meal, to place myself first.

The mom and ‘bro’ got surprised that I didn’t go with them to the airport. I think I even put a face of ‘it’s not the end of the world if I stay’. It might have been for both of them (mostly my friend), but I didn’t care.

I finished my meal a while later, picked up my plate and washed it. And I didn’t do it because I felt pressured from anyone, it was the right thing to do.

While at that, my friend and else walked in, and he had a very upsetting face. “Why didn’t you go to the airport?” asked he. “I was expecting you there.”

I gave him a blank stare of ‘so?’ and showed no remorse.

Looking back I now realize that I didn’t go for various reasons. First, our relationship had suffered greatly by his own fault.

Second, his attitude of ‘I’m better and know more than you’ hadn’t been sitting well with me for some time. He might think he’s ‘God’s greatest creation’, but to me he wasn’t and didn’t deserve my ‘undivided attention’ that I always had towards him. To the eyes of his mom and ‘bro’ he may still be that, but to me he had become his own worst devil .

Third, I’ve lived my life for others and fulfilling their expectations, including him, and that was no longer the same. Yes, I wanted to see him, but this trip was more about me taking a road trip and possibly having some fun.

But, I just got here and this guy is already giving me an attitude. What next? More religious one-liners that will create a hell on earth during my remaining 24 hours of visiting? Lord, help me!!!

 

 



Just when I thought that things with this guy seemed to be leveling down, I get a phone call from him in the middle of the day, about 2 months after his arrival to the place ‘he hated so much, he felt like tearing the license plate off the car once he crossed the state’s city limits”, just like he did one month after being in the Pacific, to inform me of the following: “I’m just calling you quickly to let you know that I’m getting out of here!!!”

‘Say what??’ I thought to myself. It was like Groundhog Day, when the same incident and words from a few months back had repeated again. “Getting out of where??” asked I.

“The place that I’m living,” said he very angry. “Today is my last day here. This guy told me I couldn’t be here any more, so I made a few calls to people I know, and thank God who never fails me, I was able to find a place to move in right away. I will call you at another time when I’m settled down.”

I didn’t really pay attention to the details of what caused him to go; when I heard the religious part I got nauseated and lost focus on the conversation. Plus, here was again another situation of him having a disagreement with other people, either personal or work related, that ended in a nasty dispute. See the pattern here? His bitchy ex-girlfriend, sister, father, friends, co-workers. And, of course, it was the other person’s fault, not his.

In this case, from what I understood, my then friend was living at a room at the residence of a friend and/or former colleague, who was letting him live in the space for free until he had enough money to find a place of his own.

According to his version, the ‘landlord’ asked him to pay or got upset with this guy for something, and told him he had to go by the end of the month. This guy got so upset at his treatment that he told him, “don’t worry about me leaving this month; as a matter of fact, I’m leaving today, right now!!”

I think this happened sometime in the middle of the work week, so the conversation ended rather quickly and me not having much of a chance to say or ask anything else. He didn’t have much possessions with him, so I don’t think he sacrificed much work time to complete his move.

If we did have a chance to speak about this again, I’m sure he would have been still very angry for the fact that ‘he thought this person was his friend, but proved him wrong’, that ‘he was clearly stabbed on the back’, and that ‘for some reason God wanted me out of there, so that’s why this happened’.

After all this was over, I was again sort of distant from him as I living too many familiar emotions: his behavior change, angry outbursts, being unreachable, secrecy, religious fanaticism. The excuse of ‘been busy with my new job’ was the best into keeping a distance.

I think a few months went by when he informed me that he was again going to visit his mom over the weekend (to pick up one of his cars he had left at her house, or something like that), and that I was invited to go there from Saturday to Sunday, if possible.

He told me ‘very last minute’ and I wasn’t all sure about it, but decided to go ahead. With so much happening from him, I was feeling that there wouldn’t be that many chances in the future of getting together.

In other words, it was a ‘now or never’ situation. I didn’t see it then, but reality was that the end of an era was slowly approaching and it would happen with a ‘bang’ in the worst of ways possible.

 



Things were off to a good start with this guy, or so it seemed. He kept quiet to himself after he started working as, ‘I have to make up for the lost money. Trying to work as many hours as I can, even weekends if that happens.’

It also seemed the living arrangements were working out as well. After the ‘people issues’ he had with co-workers in the Pacific, I was wondering if he would achieve of staying at the guy’s residence without incidents until he had enough money to move out to a place of his own.

One thing that didn’t change was his visits to church. Don’t get me wrong, but he was again isolating himself from the rest of the world, only associating himself with people that shared his mentality and way of being.

What also bothered me about his fanaticism was that if we spoke, he would be more interested in knowing that I had gone to church than me telling him about a guy I met. Even if I felt alone going to church by myself, or that perhaps mass wasn’t really working for me, all he cared was that I went, not how practicing my faith was making me feel or having an impact in my life.

Because of this I also started keeping personal matters to myself, so as not to get judged (or preached) by him as to what I had to do. So instead I concentrated on talking about trivial things like, “hey, I got a friend invitation from a guy from your high school class. I think you two were good friends back then? I don’t understand why he, or other guys, that I didn’t have anything with, send me this. I mean, he appears on the photo with a woman and children, so it makes me question what he wants from me,” said I.

“That guy you’re mentioning, yes, we were friends for some time, but I eventually distanced from him because he was doing certain things I wasn’t confortable with. But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed. And it seems he’s doing well from the photo you’re describing. Why he wants to ‘friend’ you is confusing to me too, but I would just ignore it.

I get invitations all the time as well. Some of those I delete instantly and others I keep, think it over, and then decide what to do, like with this girl…,” said he.

I don’t recall asking him anything about this particular female, but what I understood from him was that this was someone from way back who ‘he hadn’t heard about in years,’ that ‘he didn’t know how she managed to find him online, but she did,’ and that ‘I don’t know why she has reappeared at this point in my life.’ He spoke the last part with a tone that he was really analyzing if he should speak or not to her, handling the situation like it was a very delicate matter.

From what I remember him for, if it was someone that had hurt him badly in the past, he wasn’t very open in giving people second chances. It was more of, ‘you mess up with me, you mess it up with me for good’. That he would listen to what others had to say, maybe; it all depended on the severity of the incident and how things ended between both parts.

It wasn’t necessarily about forgiveness, even though that’s what Christianity teaches (to which he applied to his convenience), it was more of resolving whatever was left pending and each one going their separate ways again.

The way he expressed himself made it look like that, whatever happened, it was still much alive within him and not at all forgotten; that ‘I’m not allowing it to happen again,’ or perhaps that ‘so now you’re back, after all you did? really? what do you take me for?’

He made it sound that he had received the invite a while back and was letting it ‘marinate’, as in doing it on purpose to make the other person ‘sweat’, or make her feel she was in some sort of limbo for not getting a ‘yes or no’ response. Now looking back it seems more this guy wanted to punish this person from afar.

What’s puzzling is that he has been extremely open about the bitchy ex and relationship, but kept anything related to this mystery woman sealed like it was a ‘top secret’ matter, while I was added to the mixture when he has told me that ‘you and I could make a good team if we were together’. He had even invited me to go visit him in the past. Sounds like a bad case of ‘musical chairs’ where you switch people around for your own benefit, without all participants knowing about it.

Yep, that’s how naive I was for believing him, or other guys, on whatever they said. This guy may not be into second chances, but I did, far too much, which was an invitation over and over to getting burned, lied, used, and unappreciated.

Reality is, sometimes we don’t need to visit the past, especially with us women. I’ve learned that the facts are right there in front of us; it’s just that we don’t want to see them.

If someone comes back, it’s fine to listen to what they have to say. Maybe they have indeed changed for the better. But, please, just do that: listen, you talk, give closure, move on.

You can also change as a person, but you can never change what happened or the hurt that came with it. Do with the guys the same as with the invites: ‘delete’ them. Forgive yourself, give the second chances to you only, and stop playing games with your feelings. That’s it; end of story.

 



“Hey, there’s a possibility of a job opening back in the state I swore I would never go back to,” said he in a call I received out of the blue.

“What? Are you serious?” asked I, more concerned about him going back to that place than the job actually happening.

“I contacted a guy I’ve worked with before that helped me get the position there the last time, as it seems he might be able to do it again. I filled out all the paperwork and waiting to get it all approved, etc.,” continued he. “I’ve been praying over this for many days and if this is where God wants me to go, then that it will be. Don’t know the reason why, but sooner or later I will.”

“Listen to me well; if you go back to there and get involved with that woman, I don’t want to hear it,” said I in an upsetting tone. In spite of all his complaints and bad remarks regarding his ex-girlfriend, to which I have listening to for about 2 years, I’ve seen before how people go back to toxic relationships, and with his behavior shifting so abruptly, combined with the denial that his time with the bitch was a total disaster, plus his religious fanaticism that had him in a delusional state that made him believe he could fix anything broken by just faith, making it a sure bet it would all repeat again.

It took a few months for all to get completed and off he went. He was again in a one-year contract, so considering the location and bad association with it, plus the failure in his one-month stint in the Pacific, I was holding my breath that at least he would find a way to stay there for the duration of the job.

His argument again was religious, which was still making me puke. I was sick of hearing about the endless hours praying at church, or that ‘someone else’ had made the decision for him or told him what to do. Oh, and he was strapping for money, of course.

Because he was financially bad, he went to live in a room at a buddy’s house of his to save some money until he could get a place of his own (“the Lord is good with me; everything is falling into place). Barf bag, please.

I sort of distanced from him shortly after he started working, not because I wanted him to concentrate all his efforts in what he was doing, but because I couldn’t stand any more how a ‘higher power’ was granting him all that he wanted and making all that he did seem so smooth and effortless; that he had achieved everything because of his faith and non-stop praying.

All that I wanted from him was to just shut up, work, and take a break from worrying again what the next step would be when the job ended.

Bonus if he comes back to visit his mom, invites me, and he is back to his old self.

Will ‘the power above’ work on my favor? Well, like he always said, “I’ll leave it in his hands.”



There was another occasion that I went back to visit him. I believe he was still without a job offer, so I was taking any opportunity to visit him. I think it was a long weekend, so I was told at work we would be left off early, which that usually doesn’t happen, so I didn’t pack my bag on Thursday night. I was also feeling sort of sick, so I figured out of resting Friday night and leaving early Saturday morning would be best.

Turns out we were left off early at work around 1 pm, so I went home, had lunch, packed, and left late around 3pm. It was crazy doing that, especially considering it takes minimum 4 hours to get to the location. On top of that, I still didn’t had a smartphone, so I relied on printed map directions, which took me really far off track.

When I got to the house it was already dark and I was very hungry. He greeted me sort of cold (as in ‘why did you had lunch at home? I stop along the way and buy a coffee or something when I travel by car’; that was another comment he always made when doing road trips) and when he saw how overwhelmed I was with the trip, he decided to ‘lend’ me a GPS he had in his car.

“If you give it to me, how are you going to manage?” asked I.

“I’m now using the maps app on my mobile. I kept the device as a backup. But I prefer that you use it; a woman like you, driving all alone such distances, you need something more secure,” said he.

I appreciated his gesture, but was puzzled by it, considering how complicated he has been behaving with me. It made me remember the guy I used to know.

On Saturday morning, my then friend had plans to visit the elderly couple friend of his to which I declined again. His best friend appeared and saved the day by taking me out. We pretty much did the same as before of going to lunch and walking around a restaurant area for a drink. No flea market though.

Unfortunately, when this guy and his mom were driving back from the visit, the mom’s car broke down on the highway and had to be towed.

At no time did he call his friend or me to ask for help. When we all got back home, my then friend was beyond angry. His eyes seemed about to pop out of his face for the intensity of his feelings.

Worst part was he again vented his frustrations at me that I didn’t do anything for them, but didn’t confront his friend.

“We’re talking here about an old woman who is sick, needed her meds, and hadn’t eaten for hours. At least some food could have been brought back,” said he.

I didn’t say a word the whole evening. I just got into the room I was staying, closed the door and stayed there. I think he later came around to suggest for me buying her mom lunch the next day to make up for it.

He also had a drink in his hand, which was pretty loaded. He offered it to me several times to share; I took sips, but small ones because it was too strong for me. It felt like one of those that people take when you need to ‘cool off’ about something bad.

What I felt like was crying, but I didn’t show it. I put on a strong face like he has always done and that I learned from him.

The next day his friend joined us again, so we went to a bar where I bought a round of drinks for everyone to make up for the day before. On Sunday we met up with my friend’s father and wife for lunch, supposedly as an invitation from the dad, but my friend ended up putting money for the tip or something.

My friend has been on this ‘on and off’ relationship with his dad as long as I remembered. There was even a time that they didn’t speak for years because, according to my friend, the dad wouldn’t tell the truth about certain situations, or avoided giving answers about anything related to him.

My friend also complained that his dad was very stingy and always put himself first. For example, when the father sold his business to retire, he didn’t consult him if he would have been interested in running it. The dad gave each child a portion of the sale, and that was it.

My friend was trying to have the best relationship possible, but I could tell he was still holding anger towards him and wasn’t willing to let that emotion go. In other words, he had no intentions of forgiving him.

The next day I had breakfast and left as early as I could, especially after my overextended travel on Friday. I was putting the GPS to the test, but used the excuse of driving alone, to get home when there was still daylight, to get away from the unfortunate moments that had transcribed.

I also felt farther away from him than distance itself. I had now transitioned into a new stage in my life and wasn’t feeling I needed his advice so much. I was more confident about myself and didn’t want anything to jeopardize that.

I guess I’ll just let the GPS do more than just lead the way.



I’m not sure how the sequence of events occurred after his return and I started my new job. I believe I finally paid him a quick visit about 3 months after, when I drove there on a Saturday, returning the next day.

On that occasion he wanted to go visit the elderly couple friend of him and his mom, to which I declined. I let him know softly that I wasn’t interested in making a 4-hour visit to them, especially with the limited time I had.

I could tell he wasn’t happy about it, but, honestly, they’re his friends, not mine. I know that they’re also old and living in an elderly apartment building, but I wanted to go out and have fun.

He repeated again that “I don’t know if this will be the last time I see them alive”, which I felt was a total exaggeration. They were old, but were not sick or had a condition to worry about. Their health was good and were taken care of.

Besides, I went there to be with him and his mom because, in a similar fashion, I didn’t know where life would take him or “I would see him again” after he founded a job.

Even more, I wasn’t going to fall on the trap of pleasing him or fulfilling his expectations towards me, which was another change in him that was sitting badly with me.

I spent the day instead with his best male friend, who in the past had been his colleague. He was very nice and took me to a flea market, lunch and dinner.

At the market I met a Kenyan man who was an artisan that worked on wood and stone. I ended buying a small bust of a woman that he carved by hand. His work was impressive and really spoke to me.

Before I left, the guy says to me, “if you have a chance to come back, please do so, as I want to tell you something.”

I’ve know that people from African countries had psychic abilities, so I was intrigued as to what he had to say.

When I got back to the house and told my friend about it, he wasn’t surprised or happy about my experience. He didn’t even say much about what I bought.

He had more of a sour face. Ever since he became an extreme religious fanatic, he rejects anything that doesn’t fit with his ideals.

That was another change in him I disliked. He used to respect other people’s view and beliefs. Now, if any one deviated from his mentality, even slightly, he would totally dislike them.

It was the attitude of “my way or the highway”. He was only socializing with people from church or other extremists. It was clear why he was alone or things were not happening to him (like finding a job). He is the one doing it all wrong.

Before I left the next day, my friend took me back to the flea market. I wanted to buy something else, plus speak to the Kenyan man and learn what he had to tell me.

I got to the place and my friend stood not too far away from me, but far enough not to hear the conversation.

“Something good happened to you recently,” said the man, which I knew it had to do with my new job. “And there’s someone interested in you, but…” He shook his head slightly from side to side in a ‘no’ gesture, with a facial expression of ‘I wouldn’t be with him if I were you’.

I think I quickly looked at my friend, as I knew it had to do with him, the one who was just a few steps away. I wasn’t surprised, more of another confirmation that getting involved with him would be a total mistake.

“I see you meeting a guy that will be good for you,” continued the man, this time with a very positive look on his face. “I think when you two see each other, you’re going to eat each other alive.”

Wow, that’s intense. It made me feel it was going to be like when two stars collide and create an explosion. Yeah, it sounded it would be that great.

When I was back in the car, I limited myself to what I shared with my friend. I said something to the extent of, “the man was right on point about something good happening to me recently.” I obviously refrained from the ‘other guy’ topic, and instead said that my life was headed the right way, that was overcoming my obstacles, and so forth, something more of a generic content.

As I drove home, I kept thinking about the guy, not the new one, but the one at hand. I kept wondering if there was more about my friend that the man didn’t tell me because he was close by. Did he saw something bad coming from my friend and tried to tell to me to ‘be careful’?

He may have not said much, but his face sure said it all. Maybe the underlying message was this: ‘you see that guy not far from you? Take a good look at him, ‘cause soon he’s walking away and out of your life. And it’s going to hit you as hard as these stones that I work with.’

Was the Kenyan man right? Stay tuned.



et cetera
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