In spite of the disappointment with Fish, I decided to give the app another try. It was the first experience I had using it, so I thought it was too early to give up on it just yet.
I have to admit my hopes were not that good. After having almost no worthy memories about dating (meeting online or in the real), keeping your interest going becomes a challenge. It gets to a point you basically don’t want to do it any more.
What I decided was instead to leave the app alone for a few days, until I felt I was ready to approach it with somewhat the same enthusiasm I did the first time around. Yes, I was skeptical, but I thought to myself that it’s either this or nothing.
I approached the second attempt like before of reading all information in the profiles, swiping left for those out of my area, not appealing to me at all, having no info besides a first name and age, showing no clear location, or supposedly living locally when in fact the profile states another one (don’t understand why this happens).
I knew I had to continue being open to all possibilities, but opted to being picky by listening more to my inner guts, so hopefully that would get me better results.
So as I am swiping left for the majority of the profiles, I see one of a guy who I will call Bert, which sounds like ‘burp’, because it’s one of those people you look at and you can’t decide either to go for it or not. It’s like gas stuck within you that you don’t know how to get rid of or when it will finally come out.
This guy wasn’t totally bad looking for my taste, but wasn’t cute either. It was more like average. He didn’t appear to be trashy either, but there was something about him I couldn’t figure out.
He had several photos and one showed him wearing a suit and tie, making me understand that he probably worked in a professional environment that required that, like law or accounting.
I looked at his face again and now felt he looked semi-nerd, which matched his appearance. I personally prefer corporate looking guys, since I’ve always worked in this type of environment. But my preference is for those who are creatives since I work in a related field, and this made me wonder if this was the reason why this guy wasn’t really clicking with me.
I thought to myself that his appearance might not be what I like, but maybe his intelligence could. Maybe he’s someone who could grow on you after getting to know him more. He’s one of those you just have to search beyond the surface to finally figure them out and decide if worth the effort.
Before swiping right, I believe I first used my photo identification app. If people have a professional media profile, most likely the work photos will give you a search result, which in this case it did, including a full name.
After finding his credentials, which were very impressive, I learned that he had been in the military and was experienced in special ops and high risk activities. He now owned a company specializing in something related to business data security and management.
I had never come across a profile like this. It was of those where the face doesn’t match the experience at all. He was definitely a ‘brain’ and far off to what a former army guy is supposed to look like. In fact, he seemed too well put together.
What I remember happening afterwards is that I swiped right and he had done the same, so were now connected to chat.
I don’t recall if we chatted for long (as in days), but I do remember asking him, ‘So what’s your story? Divorced? Kids? Dating anyone?, to which he replied, ‘My story? A good guy looking to meet a nice woman.’
What’s wrong with this picture? He didn’t answer my question. People, this is a huge red flag. If they’re avoiding providing some basic answers or information that confirms who they are, either they’re a fake user or are hiding something.
Also, be aware of people listing careers to which there’s no market for where you live, or list a company that doesn’t exist or has no offices in your area. And if they state they work ‘independently’, even worse. It makes no sense living at one place when the opportunities are somewhere else, even if you work in a contractual basis.
Another red flag is when you see profiles that repeat similar career fields and their college is from an institution that’s based abroad. I’m not saying that there can’t be foreigners in your city, but when the title seems too big for your location, take note of that as well.
With this guy, because I confirmed he was the real deal and told me the area he lived at, I thought there was no further ‘threats’ here to consider. I overlooked his lack of a complete response (when I should know better already to not do this) and decided to move to the next step of suggesting meeting somewhere (‘Sounds good. Maybe we could meet sometime? I live around your area.’), to which he agreed (‘We’re not too far away. It would be nice to meet you.’).
But, there was still this burp in me that wouldn’t go away, so I decided to do an extra ‘security check’. Because I had his full name, I searched for his social media profile.
And I didn’t liked what I found. Bitch Bert had a profile picture with a woman, his girlfriend. There were these photos of them very cozy together and professing their love for each other.
Not only did my burp finally come out, now I had one filled with the anger of the lie this guy was trying to pull off. He may be a security expert, but I deciphered the truth with a simple app.
So how do you strike back? Easy. I took a screen shot of the conversation where he didn’t answer my question about his status and that he agreed to meet with me, went to his girlfriend’s profile and sent it to her with the message: “I know this is none of my business, but your man has a profile in a dating site and had agreed to go out with me on a date.”
Afterwards, I texted this guy again, telling him the meeting wasn’t going forward, followed by “who is the woman in the picture?”
The next day his profile and conversation were deleted.
Boom goes the dynamite!! Who’s the military expert now?? This girl is!!