The New M.E. Generation











The week after the lunch, I reached out to LZ1 as per the usual. The texting continued during the morning commute and work hours, but brief.

Believe I tried calling him during the weekend with no luck. He replied that couldn’t answer because ‘was underneath his car wrenching it with a buddy’. They were to work on it for some more hours and then go eat. Next day, same thing.

Following week I was getting off of work early because of an event that was to cause major traffic jams. Texted if he wanted to meet up with me; he said that ‘was also allowing his employees to leave early although he was staying, and had an event early evening he couldn’t get out off’.

Anyways, my car was giving me trouble and had to get it serviced, which was stressing me out. Had invested in major repairs 6 months earlier and now it had new problems.

He knew about a minor repair around the time I met him, to which he had followed up. But didn’t tell him of this one because his distancing was already happening.

For starters, he was no longer taking the initiative of texting me. Then one day when I took a selfie during my lunch break, instead of replying with the usual words of ‘gorgeous’ or ‘beautiful’ with some cute emojis, he simply said ‘nice!’. That felt like getting splashed with cold water.

The following week he finally underwent the scheduled colonoscopy on a Friday; he had said it was supposed to be on Saturday. His explanation was that ‘it was moved up a day’. His mom was to drive him home.

Tried calling him that night (thinking for sure would get a hold of him), but it went to voicemail. His excuse: ‘he was sore all over.’ As ‘so sore’ you can’t answer your phone??

Tried again next day; same situation. I got upset and left him a message: “Wow, you really meant it when you said that you don’t like talking on the phone!!! Whatever. Bye.” His response was again ‘still feeling pain’. Yeah, like you being a pain in the ass, literally.

Believe another week went by when I last attempted to call him on the weekend. This time there was no response from him in any way. I then knew it was the end of (nothing, I guess).

It was on Monday, a few minutes before midnight, when he decided to finally ‘show face’: “Hi, I’m sorry I have been avoiding you, but I can’t see you anymore. I’m in a bad place in my life right now and I can’t give you the attention you deserve, nor do I want to be in any kind of relationship. I’m sorry I strung this along for two weeks, I thought I would emerge from this one problem, but another has surfaced which is even worse. I don’t feel like talking about it either. Between work and this latest thing it would not be fair to you. You’re really nice woman, attractive and smart. You deserve a lot better than me, that’s for sure. I’m very sorry. Hope you understand.”

I was both upset and not. Was because he turned out to be another coward who didn’t have the balls to have a conversation with me. Not because this repeated facade has become the norm among the men that are crossing my life. The ‘Surprise, surprise’ sarcasm still stands here.

If this text message was to play out in a movie, it would probably go something like this.

I didn’t respond immediately. I allowed myself 2 days to really think it over. Ever heard the expression ‘the quiet before the storm’?

“First of all, that you don’t want to be in a relationship is a lie. You don’t want to be with me. I bet you the little money I have on the bank that the day you meet someone that interests you, you will move heaven and earth to make it work. That you’re going through a bad moment? So is everyone else. The ‘bad timing’ is a fallacy. It’s a cop-out.

Second, it’s an insult that you tell me I deserve better when you don’t know anything about my life to make that statement.

Third, you don’t want to talk about your problem? Fine. Remember my words that one day it will explode on you like a firecracker on a 4th of July.

Fourth, that I’m pretty, etc., is the same thing as getting a consolation prize. You’re using it to try to make me feel better. Cop-out.

Fifth, not answering calls is immature and cowardly. You’re not a millennial and neither am I. Especially sending a message almost at midnight. Face things. Don’t hide. Get updated. Grow up. Another cop-out.

I’m sure that you got disenchanted the day of the lunch. And not giving yourself the chance to see if at least a friendship could happen looks bad on you. Your loss. I’m worth a lot more than you cared to know.

Last but not least, life it’s not just about you, and you, and you. One day you’ll realize what you missed on. You’ll remember me when that happens. Good luck.”

 



I was still trying to get over the cancelled event and annoying ‘no-phone’ situation, so I made a move I thought would probably backfire at me: I called him.

I did it because I wanted to see how he would react and determine if this was another guy I just needed to shelf away sooner than later.

I called, went to voicemail. Don’t recall if I left a message or not. Incredibly, he called back. It was a quick conversation; he sounded rushed and not into exchanging much conversation. Can’t recall the content of it, but I did mention that ‘if I call you is because it’s something important’.

I know I’ve respected his position, but this was totally unnecessary for me to say. I should be able to call and speak to anyone I want. He’s the one with the problem.

If he understands that because of my age (he thinks I’m no older than 35 [a.k.a., a millennial]; which I’m not on both) and a woman that engages in mindless conversation representative of my supposed generation and gender, then he’s really someone who needs to get updated, as the person acting like one is him.

I put the incident aside and continued limiting my morning commute texting. As Friday was winding out, I got his message about meeting for lunch the next day. I accepted again.

Next morning I followed up. He reconfirmed, mentioned he had been working out, and if I would mind him wearing a shirt and bermudas. “That would be fine with me,” said I. I’ll give him credit that at least he asked.

The location is inside a mall in their restaurant floor, so when I entered the area from the opposite side of the door to the eatery, I could see LZ1 outside waiting for me.

When we finally came face to face and heard him say, “so glad we finally meet!” with a laugh (or a live lol), I said to myself, ‘what’s with his tone of voice? sounds squeaky’. It was one of those ‘now I know why’ moments (remember the ‘no phone calls’ thing?).

But after we sat down and the nervousness went away, the conversation flowed quite well. So much that I wondered why this wouldn’t carry over the phone.

From my side, he was courteous, well-behaved and mannered, and didn’t say anything that was concerning to me just yet. Like those comments that makes you realize that there’s nothing in common, or having a particular way of being so different from yours it will always be an issue (like smoking, being a veggie, for example).

We both stayed away from getting into details about our personal life, including marital status, children, and dating experiences.

Overall I was happy with the outcome of the day. I know it will take a lot more to get a better overview, but so far it was a good start.

LZ1 walked me to my car. Before I took off, I stood in front of him, smiled, and thanked him for such a nice time. I then let him do the talking.

He sort of got nervous again and asked ‘if I would be interested in seeing him again, maybe spent time together during the summer’, to which I said ‘yes’ in a cordial way. He then gave me a quick kiss on my lips and left. That was it.

His car was parked in another lot; I know I could have suggested taking him to it, to finally see it up close and personal, but I’ve learned my lesson: if a guy is interested, he will let you know.

Coincidentally, that night I also met up with my BFF (the one that scolded me about the gas station incident). I wore the same thing I did for the lunch, to which she complemented me.

When I shared that I had lunch with this guy a few hours earlier, she showed some surprise and interest. I spoke about it in a neutral tone of ‘let’s see what happens’. She still wasn’t that much impressed and reiterated again that she hoped all ended favorably.

As the day finally came to an end and went to sleep, my mind was again spinning a million thoughts like the first time I encountered LZ1. Instead of being happy and excited, I was staring at the ceiling. And that’s a scary place to be at, because when it does, it can only mean one thing: here’s comes those bad feelings again.

 

 

 

 

 



After what my girlfriend said the night of the dinner, I sort of went back to being quiet and not saying much.

The texting during the commutes continued, but I kept them to the usual ‘good morning’, to asking how the day was going at the office. Because I was leaving earlier to work, I started missing seeing his car, which took away the fun of crossing paths.

At least the idea of meeting in the future prevailed, but it felt like it was taking forever. This guy always had some excuse, all seemingly legit, for not making it happen, like work-related events, having a good friend in town, and taking his sports car (and testing others) on a speedway.

He even said once that he left his phone at the office. That was probably a lie, but I wasn’t in the position of questioning him on that. (Did I mention he has his own business, a travel incentives company?…)

I even suggested taking the next step of talking on the phone (“I’m not really a person that does that”, said he.) What’s this? Another Fish clone? (see The Swipe). This gave me a bad chill on my spine.

I was getting tired of ‘no phone’ conversations, but, again, wasn’t going to insist on anything. At least the texting provided a clarification about his age when he mentioned he was at the doctor taking care of the pre-op before having a colonoscopy.

Me: “First time? So I guess you’re 50?”

Him: “I’m probably a LOT older than you. Only 50. I must look a lot older.”

Me: “How old you think I am?”

Him: “I’ll say mid to late 30’s.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s it” (not!).

Him: “Age is not a number. You’re as old as you feel.” (This is such a delusional statement! Not even you believes that.) “So I guess I’m too old for you lol.” (…and that he uses ‘lol’ in every texting?)

Me: “Nope.”

Him: “Yay!”

Hmmm, wonder how he would feel about me if he learned I’m very close to his age. Would he still be interested in me?

When he finally ‘popped the question’ (lunch, that is), I let him choose the time and place. He mentioned to meet at noon on a Saturday at a nice place I’ve been once before. I told him to please reconfirm with me the following morning.

Because I didn’t hear from him, I sent him a text message; got a reply like an hour before the due time, that his 80-something mother wasn’t feeling right, was taking her to the hospital, and was sorry about it. That maybe tomorrow could be.

This didn’t sit well with me. I know it’s his mom, he apologized, and asked for a rain check. But anything that has to do with hospitals takes time, so bailing out at the last minute always makes you look bad. It felt like he was getting ‘cold feet’ about it all, thus using the situation as a means to hide.

All I could do was tell him that ‘hope all goes well’ (he: “thanks for your understanding”) and make the best out of the day. I followed up with him early evening (“Still at hospital. Waiting for test results and else. Thanks for asking.”)

Next day, don’t remember who initiated the texting, but he cancelled again, citing that he still had to deal with his mom, plus had to go see his dad to help him with something. Another “so sorry, hope you understand”. All I did was express the same as the day before. Didn’t communicate with him the rest of the day.

As the weekend winded down, I felt like those days when I’m starting to wonder if this guy will turn out to be another repeat story.

I’ve been disappointed so many times, any minor things start ringing bells in my head. Even if you’re told the truth, it still feels suspicious.

Well, another new week, another chance that things might come my way (or not).

Monday morning memo to myself: “If a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen no matter what” (- He’s Not That Into You). Copy that.

 

 

 

 



It was around 7pm on a Friday after getting home that I looked at my mobile while watching TV and trying to cook something. I tend to put the phone down in my room and ignore it until later. But I had been texting with someone that day and wanted to conclude with the chatting.

I notice I hadn’t read a text, which I thought was from the other person, but didn’t hear the alert sound, which was odd to me. Looking again, I noticed it came from the Unknown tab.

I see a number and 2 texts delivered around an hour and a half earlier: “Emma!!” “Emma Marques”.

I searched the area code and it gave me the town where ‘the beach guy’ lives. Oh, no! ‘Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water’…

It had to be him. I don’t know anyone else who lives in his area. And when someone spells my last name correctly, they definitely know me.

To be honest, it wasn’t thrilled about him resurfacing, especially after how he behaved when we reconnected. I thought about ignoring it all together, but decided to test him out.

I waited about a half hour and then replied: “Who’s this?”

“Frank. Wow. You are on a ‘delay’.”

What’s that supposed to mean? That I didn’t fulfill your expectations of not responding right away? Memo to you: I will treat you the same way you have before – indifferent.

“This is Emma from school?” (he gave the correct name). Yep, still not making it easy to him.

“Frank who? Yes.”

“Frank Antonetti” / “I’m in town and I thought of you” /  “So I’m reaching out to see how you are” / “Still divorced and Single? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Married again?” / “I’m going out to get some dinner.” / “I’m in Bal Harbor.”

Surprise, surprise (not). Here we go again of him never telling me in advance that he’s going to be around, even less using the phone to do so.

I clearly remember once when he was flown by private jet to meet with a patient (he’s a personal doctor) on a weekday. He texted me while on the air around 10pm or so, saying to join him at the hotel. I told him I had to go to work the next day. He said: “too bad. we could have snuggled together.”

Really? I know how this goes, you’re in town taking care of other people’s needs, but looking to resolve yours with a “quickie fix”?

The last time he did the same ‘unannounced’ thing and I gave him a very solid ‘no’, he tried to play the ‘guilty feelings’ card by saying that ‘I remember you being more adventurous’ (no kiddo, I’m not bungee jumping to prove you wrong or let you manipulate me so you can get what you want). Or that ‘I bet my hotel room is more comfortable than your apartment’ and ‘you’re probably bored watching a movie on TV’.

I didn’t kept quiet and fired back at him in such a way, that he last said “I’m done”. So was I, big time.

And WTF with the ‘girlfriend’ question? What makes you think that, because I’ve been unlucky finding a guy, now I’m trying other measures to be with someone?

I didn’t felt like saying anything else, but wanted to get back at him somehow, so I waited some more and decided on just this: “Hey! Nice of you to think of me. Life is good.”

It was a combination of telling a lie, leaving it ambiguous, and that whatever I’m doing at this exact moment, is way better than being with you.

“Good”, said he. “How far are you from where I am?”

I didn’t say a word. Half hour later he says: “Well, I’m sure you’re busy.”

Exactly, you didn’t appreciate any of my time before, so now I’m ‘busy’ for you.

The next day I realized that I also had a Messenger and Friend request. We used to be connected on social media, but I unfriended him during the ‘done’ episode (and I never looked back).

Still, I took a peak at his profile out of curiosity. It was normal, except this photo from almost a year ago, where he’s on his boat taking a selfie (using both hands) with a very blonde chick (like those that probably bleach their hair with a household cleaner). She had an exaggerated smile and held him like an octopus; his body language read he was only with her for whatever reason that benefitted him.

I then told my bestie about it (see The Ex-Friend): “I hope my non-reply gives him the message.”

Bestie: “Hopefully, because it seems he’s a moron. Otherwise you don’t deal with booty calls or booty FB requests.”

Me: “Haven’t heard from him in like 2 years and now reappears parachute-style?”

Bestie: “One word for you: Next!!!”

You got that right, as always.

Interestingly enough, I was as calm as I’ve ever been. Amazing what time and distance can do for you.

As for him, I hope he enjoyed his meal, whatever kind it was.

“Revenge is a meal best served cold.” Buono appetito!

 

 

 



So no matter how we do it, our cars meeting on the way to work is still not happening.

Even if we both leave at the same time from our homes, the initial paths to get to the main road are different. That’s why the chances of ‘bumping into each other’ are zero to none.

If he’s on time, I’m delayed, and vice versa. One time I text him, ‘we need to get a drone’.

Since a mention about meeting in person hasn’t occurred yet, I thought maybe the unsuccessful chases would make that happen without me having to say it. Like I said before, if he’s interested, let it be him that does the effort.

Me: “I mean, how else are we going to manage seeing each other in the morning?” (referring to the aircraft).

Him: “Well, we need to see each other somewhere else, since this traffic thing is too hit-or-miss. Mostly miss, lol.”

Me: “Yeah, like FaceTime” (which I call the ‘half and half’; part visual, part phone call in not exactly the real world).

Him: “I was thinking maybe meet for coffee, lunch, or happy hour.”

Me: “Thought the same, except I didn’t want to come across as pushy.”

Him: “Not at all, I like and respect women who take the lead.”

Wow, how about that? I don’t recall any guy saying this about females per se.

Me: “Most guys are not like that from experience. Being said that, I would like to get together with you in person. Don’t know how your schedule is or what would be fine with you to do.”

By the time I sent this text we had both gotten to work, so I left it as that for that day.

The following one, the morning usual.

Him: “Morning! At the train station light lol.”

Me: “I’m way back in it.”

Him: “Did you get out?”

Me: “No. Now second in line.”

Him: “Shoot. Well, I do have to stop for gas. Going to station past 40th.”

Me: “Maybe I’ll see you.”

Him: “Hope so!”

This time I took my commute into high gear, passing all cars and advancing as much as I could. At least him being ahead of me and making a stop was providing a small window of opportunity.

The location is almost immediately after an intersection. A few seconds after the light turned green, I see the ‘Led Zep1’ entering the station right, then making a left turn to position it in an empty spot.

I quickly stopped my car next to the second entrance when I see his vehicle facing towards me. I waved ‘hi’ to him. I almost got into the station, but I knew I would be late for work if I did, and had cars behind me honking to move, so I kept going.

Me: “I saw you!”

Him: “Yes! Saw you too lol!”

Me: “Yay!” I took a selfie of me smiling. It was a ‘close, but no cigar’ moment, but good enough for me.

Him: “Too brief. You should have stopped for gas too.”

Me: “Thought that, but my boss is very insisting of people getting to work on time. We should meet this weekend.”

A few emoticons later and after getting to his office, he said, “yes, we should. What’s your schedule this weekend? And it’s too bad for your boss.”

Me: “My schedule is open. You? My boss called upon me twice recently and just don’t want to hear it again. And my colleague is out this week sick, so… Just let me know.”

About two days later I had dinner with one of my BFF’s. I shared with her the story about how I met him and my almost run-in encounter at the gas station.

She did appreciate me doing something ‘out of the box’, but she’s never short of dispensing ‘wake-up’ advice, even when nothing has yet happened.

“You had no business stopping at the gas station,” said she seriously while I looked at her puzzled. I thought she would have told me the other way around.

“You don’t know anything about this guy. How sure are you that he’s single?” continued she. I felt like a child does when a parent is preaching you about the facts of life.

“You can pull this off when you’re in your 20’s. But one has to be careful at our age,” continued she. “I’m not saying not to pursue guys. Just keep your distance for now and let him be the one that makes the move.”

Okay, now what? I’m feeling somewhat deflated. Like I should have kept quiet.

At least LedZep1 said to meet during the weekend. Well, easier texted than done. Guess I’ll put my car on neutral for the time being and wait until it’s time to shift gears again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About half an hour later after getting to work, I get a text from him.

Him: “Good morning again lol!”

Me: “Good morning Mr. LedZep1.”

Him: “Ha! You know how long I’ve had that plate? Over 30 years!”

We exchanged a few more messages that provided some interesting data, like he lives and works in locations not that far from mine; speaks Spanish among other languages; owns his own company; expressed having a sense of humor, which I think of myself as well. I was glad that I finally met someone who is close in proximity and has something in common with me.

I avoided asking for other details, such as his company or last name. He didn’t ask for mine. At this stage is too early for that.

Before going to sleep, I texted him ‘good night’;  he replied with ‘Hi, same to you. Will look out for you on the road tomorrow, LOL’, to which I said ‘me too’ with a car emoticon.

I couldn’t rest immediately because my mind was digesting all the events of the day. I also connected with my spiritual side and thought to myself, ‘I have to handle this very carefully. Will keep this low key for now. No calls or mentioning about meeting. Let him reach out to me if interested.’

I did a mental review of what my besties have told me: avoid having expectations or doing anything that will get you hurt unnecessarily. Last thought was directed to the universe: ‘it will be what you believe it’s best for me’.

The next day set the tone for our morning commutes. Whoever got on the road first texted the other with their location. It felt like playing a Super Mario game where you’re looking which path to take to catch the fruits.

Turns out we’ve been missing each other by roughly 5 minutes most of the time, which created many texts like, ‘looking for cars like yours, LOL’, ‘center lane on 27th; you?’, ‘damn I missed you’, ‘wished I’d seen you’.

To compensate for not crossing paths, I take selfies and send them to him. He usually sends back one of himself, the view from his office, or whatever he’s having for lunch. He has also asked those ‘small talk’ questions, such as what I like to do for fun, hobbies, family background, etc.

I use one-word answers because I don’t want to give it all away; he provides more lengthy replies, such as that he considers to be a quiet person, is not into clubs or big parties (prefers smaller events), likes to cook, listens to music (Led Zeppelin perhaps?), play golf, and take his car for a spin at a track (did I mention he has a sports car?).

It may sound awkward two adults chatting over text messages only, especially being from generations where the phone was it. But neither seems to mind. I don’t. I think it creates a sense of distance and mystery that keeps this whole thing interesting.

On one occasion, though, I sort of broke my own rules. Upon missing each other yet again, and me sending a headshot selfie with my sunglasses partially down that showed my eyes, (to which he said, ‘I’m glad I can see your eyes’), I replied ‘hopefully one day we’ll see each other in person’.

That happened close to the weekend and he had inquired if I had any plans. I thought maybe this could ‘make or break’ anything that might happen next. I know we’ve just met, but after my Kevin situation (please see The Swipe), I wanted to make sure (in case he said was unavailable) that he had legitimate plans and wasn’t declining because of a secret agenda.

That Friday we only texted in the morning. Saturday I went about the usual; sometime in the afternoon he wrote, ‘how’s your day doing?’; I replied ‘doing errands’ and asked the same to him.

He said he had a friend in town visiting that he hadn’t seen in years; that he finished playing golf and were going to do other stuff at night. ‘Have fun’ was the last I said to him.

Sunday I went with the usual. I think I texted him early evening regarding his friend, to which he said that they spent part of the day together, but had left already.

We exchanged good nights and that was it for the weekend. I took it as in that he told me the truth.

We’ll see how the ‘find me’ car games goes this week.

“I’m in the need, the need for speed.” Start the engine please.

 

 

 

 

 

 



‘I can’t miss this guy again,’ said I to myself while hoping that the vehicles in front would move far enough for me to get next to his car. (‘Keep going, keep going… Yes! Made it!’) I’ve never been this happy at a red light.

I lowered my window and notice he’s not looking at his mobile (yay!). I wave my hand and say ‘hi’ to him. He stares back at me.

The light changes and his lane moves faster than mine. I notice that he lowers the passenger’s window.

I was so excited like in those scenes in a rom-com movie that you thought would never happen in real life. Only ingredient missing was having my BFF’s with me and shouting our lungs out like high school teenagers.

I hit another red light and was able to position my vehicle again close to him. The guy is smiling and gives me a very nice ‘hi’ back.

Me: “I’ve seen your car like 2 times before.”

He: “I’ve seen yours too” (not the best pick-up line, but who cares?).

Me: “Are you with the band?” (I asked because it’s a known fact that there’s many celebrities in the city I live at).

He: “No, I’m just an old Rock guy. You?”

Me: “I’m not a rocker, but who doesn’t know ‘Stairway to Heaven?” (I make a ‘rock on’ facial expression and hand gesture that goes with it).

He: “This is a very unusual way to meet someone.”

Me: “Yes it is… Are you single?” (please, please, please, let it be ‘yes’).

He: “Yes” (yes!!!).

We look at each other like, is this the part where we exchange our numbers or what?

Because my phone was locked and the light changed to green, I shouted mine through the window for the whole highway to hear. He told me his name, I gave him mine. He called and hanged up so I could save his mobile (which I did under ‘Mr. LedZep1’). And there he went.

I was really proud of myself for being ballsy for what I had just done. During the last leg of my commute, I started remembering other similar moments throughout my life that I took an innocent risk like the one today and paid off.

It made me feel good about myself, but sort of sad as well. Good because this was long overdue of doing something unexpected. Sad because I wondered how much this side of me has been lost.

Maybe I’ve got my mojo back and this was an example that proves it. Perhaps it has been dormant because no other guy (or situation) has recently inspired me to bring it out. Until now.

Whatever it is, I really love when I have a ‘something funny happened on the way to’ moment. It makes everything look so much different.

Question is, should I tell my BBF’s or keep it quiet? How about, lets see what happens first and then decide?

 



After my last attempts to meet guys online (please see The Swipe), I did take a break from my search. As much as I know that ‘mejor sola que mal acompañada’ (better alone than in bad company), it’s still bothersome after all these years not having experienced a serious relationship.

Yes, it hit me hard, and got me down for many days. Even having conversations with my bff’s only helped temporarily. Bottom line is, I envisioned my present in a much different way.

For that I’ve tried to keep myself busy so I don’t think about it. And started doing something new to approach what I was feeling.

It was the start of a work week and the traffic was somewhat congested. Every time I hit a red light, I looked around people in their vehicles to check out what they were doing.

There’s always some woman putting her makeup on, another was still wearing her curlers, and a guy was using an electric shaver for at least 3 lights long.

Others were obviously looking at the phone talking or texting, all totally unaware of their surroundings. I did a small experiment of making funny faces, even doing my version of carpool karaoke, and nobody noticed. It was so bad the disconnect they had with the world, I bet you had I done something politically incorrect through the window, still no one would have paid attention.

All I could was laugh, which was good, and congratulate myself for not being co-dependant on a device of any kind.

As my drive continued, I looked around at the sky, train, stores, and other things we all take for granted, and actually appreciated them.

I then said to myself, “I will give thanks for all the good I have: my job, family, home, health, those people who give me so much. Even the ones who were present for the time that they had to, I’m also grateful. Last, but not least, whoever falls under my ‘persona non grata’ list, I release you.”

Yes, I do believe that when some people (can be male friends, besties, love interests, etc.) are no longer with you in whatever capacity, is because they were meant to be when you needed the most. Sometimes they go into another direction for reasons that have nothing to do with you; sometimes what you had together has run its course and there’s not much in common any more; sometimes it’s us who realize that as much as we may appreciate the other person, it’s best that we step away for own good, and hopefully for the other one as well.

Those in ‘the list’ range from anyone who have used or hurt me, to those that is better not even thinking about them at all.

You can say my thoughts were a ‘waiting to exhale’ moment, but they did wonders to my commute that morning.

If I’m not laughing at people, I then look at license plates with a coded message and try to decipher them. If I like it, I take a photo and share it on my profile. Some are pretty straight forward; others not even my social media friends can figure out.

It was on a Tuesday morning when I did the above-mentioned exercise again; it gave me some relief, but was still feeling down. I then looked up and thought, ‘would it be too much to ask for a little divine intervention on this matter?’

About 10 minutes went by, when I was driving on the middle lane and notice a familiar plate: LED ZEP1. ‘OMG, there it is!’, I thought to myself.

This was like the third time I’ve seen it. On the first one, the car was to my left, and every time I tried to take a photo, the light turned green.

When I was almost side by side with the vehicle, I notice a man with white hair inside smiling at me. He was probably laughing at my attempts to take a photo at such a limited visual angle. I kept trying, but wasn’t working.

The guy kept looking at me. He seemed way older than me, so I thought maybe he was one of the band members? I mean, it’s a known fact that there’s many celebrities living in my city.

In spite of getting a semi-descent shot, I gave the guy a smile back and said ‘thank you’.

Second time I was again in the center lane and LZ1 got right in front of me. ‘Yes! Got the shot!’

And now, I wanted to say hi to the guy and hopefully even strike a conversation. Who knows, maybe I’ve been riding next to a music legend and didn’t even know it. Hit it!

 

 

 



In spite of having attended a Catholic school my 12 years of school, I developed a spiritual side at an early age that I don’t know where it came from. Perhaps it was me trying to find some way to deal with everything.

I remember being put to bed, but having difficulty falling asleep. My parents would leave a night light on just in case I got scared. I never had that situation where I wondered if there was a creature under my bed or else.

What really scared me was thunder, which made me run to my parents’ bed to find comfort by squeezing and hiding between them.

Another detail was that my mom never gave me a pacifier. I guess my brother had difficulty letting go of it, but I had the habit of sucking my thumb, which you can’t take away. Once in my bed, she used to say to me ‘don’t do that’; I would move my hand to the side of the mattress, to quickly doing it again once she was gone.

On those nights that were calm, I would stand by the window in my room. The glare from the lamp would reflect on the glass, and I imagined it was an angel sitting there. I would talk to it like it was a friend. I would even say ‘good night’ to it. Don’t know what I spoke about, but whatever it was, it was the one thing that gave me the peace I needed to rest well.

When I became an older child, my mom told me the story that I was born on ‘el día de la Virgen de la Caridad del Cobre’, a very important day for Cubans. She would show me TV footage of processions made to honor her in that island, and encouraged me to always pray to her, as she believed I would always be protected by her.

All this was very amusing and made me feel special. My brother didn’t had a special birthday like mine, so at least that put me at another level. For once I was ‘better’ at him on something.

Still, understanding and blending religion and spirituality has not been easy. You see, in spite of being taught the first, I’m still struggling to grasp the whole essence of it.

On the other hand, my mom’s comment has had a lifetime effect on me. I have turned to ‘Cachita’ in the best and worst moments, and feel a special connection with her that has never gone away.

I don’t know how to explain it, other than when I think of this Lady, I feel a warm fuzzy feeling that calms, keeps me grounded, and reminds me that things will be fine.

Call it divine intervention, perhaps touched by an angel. Whatever it is, it’s a blessing that just keeps on giving.

 

 



et cetera