The New M.E. Generation

{October 24, 2016}   The Swipe 5 – I’m the expert

In spite of the disappointment with Fish, I decided to give the app another try. It was the first experience I had using it, so I thought it was too early to give up on it just yet.

I have to admit my hopes were not that good. After having almost no worthy memories about dating (meeting online or in the real), keeping your interest going becomes a challenge. It gets to a point you basically don’t want to do it any more.

What I decided was instead to leave the app alone for a few days, until I felt I was ready to approach it with somewhat the same enthusiasm I did the first time around. Yes, I was skeptical, but I thought to myself that it’s either this or nothing.

I approached the second attempt like before of reading all information in the profiles, swiping left for those out of my area, not appealing to me at all, having no info besides a first name and age, showing no clear location, or supposedly living locally when in fact the profile states another one (don’t understand why this happens).

I knew I had to continue being open to all possibilities, but opted to being picky by listening more to my inner guts, so hopefully that would get me better results.

So as I am swiping left for the majority of the profiles, I see one of a guy who I will call Bert, which sounds like ‘burp’, because it’s one of those people you look at and you can’t decide either to go for it or not. It’s like gas stuck within you that you don’t know how to get rid of or when it will finally come out.

This guy wasn’t totally bad looking for my taste, but wasn’t cute either. It was more like average. He didn’t appear to be trashy either, but there was something about him I couldn’t figure out.

He had several photos and one showed him wearing a suit and tie, making me understand that he probably worked in a professional environment that required that, like law or accounting.

I looked at his face again and now felt he looked semi-nerd, which matched his appearance. I personally prefer corporate looking guys, since I’ve always worked in this type of environment. But my preference is for those who are creatives since I work in a related field, and this made me wonder if this was the reason why this guy wasn’t really clicking with me.

I thought to myself that his appearance might not be what I like, but maybe his intelligence could. Maybe he’s someone who could grow on you after getting to know him more. He’s one of those you just have to search beyond the surface to finally figure them out and decide if worth the effort.

Before swiping right, I believe I first used my photo identification app. If people have a professional media profile, most likely the work photos will give you a search result, which in this case it did, including a full name.

After finding his credentials, which were very impressive, I learned that he had been in the military and was experienced in special ops and high risk activities. He now owned a company specializing in something related to business data security and management.

I had never come across a profile like this. It was of those where the face doesn’t match the experience at all. He was definitely a ‘brain’ and far off to what a former army guy is supposed to look like. In fact, he seemed too well put together.

What I remember happening afterwards is that I swiped right and he had done the same, so were now connected to chat.

I don’t recall if we chatted for long (as in days), but I do remember asking him, ‘So what’s your story? Divorced? Kids? Dating anyone?, to which he replied, ‘My story? A good guy looking to meet a nice woman.’

What’s wrong with this picture? He didn’t answer my question. People, this is a huge red flag. If they’re avoiding providing some basic answers or information that confirms who they are, either they’re a fake user or are hiding something.

Also, be aware of people listing careers to which there’s no market for where you live, or list a company that doesn’t exist or has no offices in your area. And if they state they work ‘independently’, even worse. It makes no sense living at one place when the opportunities are somewhere else, even if you work in a contractual basis.

Another red flag is when you see profiles that repeat similar career fields and their college is from an institution that’s based abroad. I’m not saying that there can’t be foreigners in your city, but when the title seems too big for your location, take note of that as well.

With this guy, because I confirmed he was the real deal and told me the area he lived at, I thought there was no further ‘threats’ here to consider. I overlooked his lack of a complete response (when I should know better already to not do this) and decided to move to the next step of suggesting meeting somewhere (‘Sounds good. Maybe we could meet sometime? I live around your area.’), to which he agreed (‘We’re not too far away. It would be nice to meet you.’).

But, there was still this burp in me that wouldn’t go away, so I decided to do an extra ‘security check’. Because I had his full name, I searched for his social media profile.

And I didn’t liked what I found. Bitch Bert had a profile picture with a woman, his girlfriend. There were these photos of them very cozy together and professing their love for each other.

Not only did my burp finally come out, now I had one filled with the anger of the lie this guy was trying to pull off. He may be a security expert, but I deciphered the truth with a simple app.

So how do you strike back? Easy. I took a screen shot of the conversation where he didn’t answer my question about his status and that he agreed to meet with me, went to his girlfriend’s profile and sent it to her with the message: “I know this is none of my business, but your man has a profile in a dating site and had agreed to go out with me on a date.”

Afterwards, I texted this guy again, telling him the meeting wasn’t going forward, followed by “who is the woman in the picture?”

The next day his profile and conversation were deleted.

Boom goes the dynamite!! Who’s the military expert now?? This girl is!!



{October 17, 2016}   The Swipe 4 – Getting the booty

I don’t know why, but I kept trying to make some connection with Fish. I guess I was still hung up on the school thing and the interest of reviving some old times. But after a short while of trying, it was already smelling bad.

The stupid excuses, no returned calls, or lack of empathy from his part, continued, and it was all taking a toll on me.

I think at one point I got so insistent with his text messaging that I flat out asked him, ‘are you ever going to talk to me on the phone?’ About a minute later, to my surprise, he finally called.

Not only did the content of his texts that tried to justify his actions were lame, but his voice was monotonous, had a flat tone, and showed no interest towards me.

That conversation was a blur to me. I recall somewhat that he said something to the extent of, ‘I’ve met a few girls on the app, went out with them…’, but that was about it. In other words, he has gone out with other women, although nothing panned out of them, but is not doing anything to try to meet with me.

“Well,” said I, “sometimes one… (I took a pause realizing there was no point with him on what I wanted to say) …just wants to hear the other person’s voice.” I lied. What I actually wanted to say was that ‘sometimes you have a need to talk to someone’. He hadn’t shown any emotions here, and this call wasn’t going to change that either.

Not even one time when I was working on a presentation from home on a Sunday that was really draining. Once again I reached out to him via text (‘I’m about to have a meltdown’) and he just replied like it wasn’t a big deal (‘Take it easy’). He didn’t get the message. He didn’t call either, not even if my life was depending on it.

I then thought that maybe I needed to throw a bone at him, like, making the move of finally meeting.

‘Hey,’ texted I, ‘how about you coming my way and do something?’, to which he replied, ‘Like what?’ (What do you mean ‘like what’?)

I replied, ‘go for a movie, a drink maybe’. ‘I have to check my schedule’, replied he. (Really? Are you so busy you have no time for me?) ‘If you have to think about it too much, then forget it,’ replied I. I felt more like saying, ‘go f#$% yourself’.

Oh, ok, now I get it. He thinks I’m using the invitation for meeting as a coverup, because what I supposedly really want is to have sex with him.

That’s why the women situation doesn’t work with him. He’s not interested in anything other than a booty call. After he goes out with them, and manages to screw them, he then gives them the boot. If he doesn’t get what he wants (sex), he will dump them just the same.

The last I heard from him was when I tried, yet again, on a Friday, to hopefully schedule a meeting.

‘Hey, what are you up to?’ asked I. ‘Hi. I’m (4 hours away) at a trade show,’ replied he. ‘I’m at a booth. Really can’t talk. How are you? I’m free tonight, but where I am,’ continued he.

‘Oh, look; Fish is trying to be funny,’ I thought sarcastically to myself. More like an ass (or donkey), really.

I got so upset I only replied, ‘never mind’, to which he just said, ‘ok’. Zero intelligence from this guy whatsoever. I limited myself to that because I knew that if I let my emotions take control, I was going to say a bunch of things that would be worthless with a guy like him.

The next day, though, I decided it was time to end whatever this all was. I thought to myself that if he was at the booth, then it meant he would be surrounded most probably by his boss and/or colleagues.

I knew calling never worked with him, so I decided to dish out what I needed to say over a text message, his preferred method of communication.

‘I have something to get off my chest. Do you realize that you have never, ever, answered any of my calls, but always have an excuse for not doing so? And you never return them either? And when I’ve texted you that I’m having a meltdown, you showed no sensitivity. I would have rather you not friend me in the app. That’s why I’m single because of guys like you who don’t care about others.’

After I sent the text, I then proceeded to block him. This way he’s totally out of my existence. I started laughing wondering what he’s reaction would be like, especially when I send the message at the worst possible time for him.

A couple of months later, when I was in my social media page, I accidentally saw his name under the ‘People you may know’ option. (That was another thing, he never accepted my friend invitation.)

I checked out his profile and there was this selfie of him standing in front of a monument in some other state I couldn’t recognize and didn’t care to know.

‘Of course he’s alone,’ I thought to myself. ‘What else is new?’ I just sort of chuckled and felt grateful for myself for taking the step of dropping him.

As for him, well, he’ll just continue fishing on the app for more bodies to take. Maybe in the long run he’ll catch one that suits his every need.

As for me, time to swipe some more. Plenty of more fish to go after out there.

{October 10, 2016}   The Swipe 3 – Phone call reruns

I decided to call Fish at night around 9pm that same Sunday. I thought by that time he should be almost done for the day and available to talk.

But when I did, it rang a few times and then went to voicemail. Instead of getting a personalized message, I got one of those generic electronic ones that only says that you dialed a certain number and the person was not available to take your call. It didn’t even include his name.

I waited to see if there would be some reply from him in either a text or callback, but none happened either. I felt disappointed and decided to watch some TV and then go to sleep.

I started questioning myself why did he give me his number if he doesn’t have the intention of taking my call? At least you could have told me your availability and best times to call. But, no; one has to guess if there is a ‘good time to call’ as such.

I did get some reply from him the next day at home when I was already back from work.

‘Sorry, I didn’t hear the phone,’ texted he. ‘I fell asleep on the couch watching TV.’ This excuse was so cliche it made me upset.

I think I gave this call thing a try a few days later (after getting my anger off) to have the same repeated scenario: no answer. And a lame reason to go along with it the following day.

‘Sorry I didn’t take your call. I was talking to my daughter helping her with homework.’

Really? What did you do, go over with her every pending assignment? You must have charged your phone about 3 times. Don’t you know what online chat is? Apparently not.

On the third try (now starting to feel like TV show reruns), he gave me the excuse that ‘he was in the middle of this huge argument with his ex-wife.’ I thought to myself, ‘probably because you never answer her calls.’ A bit more creative, but still lame.

The same episode got played over the next time around. He basically wasn’t answering or returning any of my calls, no matter what day or time during the week I did. What is it going to take for him to do it? What an ass!

I think the lamest excuse was one time when I questioned him over a text message why he wouldn’t take my calls: ‘I spend my whole day at work on the phone.  I don’t want to be on it when I come home.’ But you do take your ex-wife and daughter’s ones, right?WTF?

‘I spend my whole day in front of the computer,’ replied I. ‘When I get home I don’t want to be writing any more, especially texts. After doing that for a few minutes I don’t feel like it any more.’

Dude, if that texting thing works with your daughters, fine. But don’t behave like them. You’re not a millennial.

You and I come from a generation that answered and returned phone calls. But I guess you didn’t take the 101 course when we were in school or read the printed book that came along with the lesson plan.

And you work in marketing. You’re supposed to be creative. I may be involved in creative work myself, but even if I wasn’t, any woman like me would’t ‘buy’ what you’re saying, even if it’s true.

Your lack of originality makes you look boring and unintelligent. More like a snooze. And if this is the way you handle all women you swipe right on the app, no wonder you’re alone. Or, is there something else you haven’t ‘told’ me about?




{October 3, 2016}   The Swipe 2 – The Fish

I kept swiping left and right without any luck yet, until I see a photo of a guy (who I will name Fish) that really caught my attention.

‘OMG!’ I thought to myself. ‘This guy attended the same college I did during the time I was there. Wow. I don’t recall knowing him, but at least it’s to my advantage having something in common. It’s a perfect conversation starter. Hopefully he has swiped right for me. Yes, he did!’

I immediately sent him a message highlighting the school aspect and that we needed to talk about it. I wanted to say ‘meet’, but I didn’t want to come across as desperate.

I checked out his photos and liked that he appeared in different ones, like with family (dancing with a young woman at a party while wearing a nice suit), dressed in a Halloween costume (Fred Flintstone), him running in mud (probably participating in some extreme sport event).

Although the age had changed in these images, he still had a nice face and body for being in his late 40’s, which was good for me, as I like guys who take care of themselves.

His location was still far from mine (about a 2-hour drive), but I kept reminding myself that I needed to keep an open mind.

Through our conversation I learned that he was originally from the Northeast and relocated with his then wife and daughters (he has 2) after getting a job offer (he works in marketing) down here, which also allowed him to escape the nasty winters. He also likes to exercise by running and going to the gym.

I didn’t ask him how long he has been divorced for (I want to keep that topic out just yet) and is in the routine of sharing time with his children every other weekend.

I continued the chat for a bit longer until I thought it was time to ask the main question: should I get his number or should I give mine first? Email perhaps? I said to myself that if I was to do this, I was to do it right.

I decided to ask him for his info. That way I can see how he reacts. If he gives me the run around, or notice any ‘red flags’, then I know that he is lying to me.

‘So how do you want to do this? Exchange emails?’ asked I via text. He replied by giving me his number. OK, all seems fine so far.

The next step was to check his number online and it confirmed that it was indeed him. I also got his last name and social media profile.

The profile had additional photos besides the ones on the app and all seemed under control. He appeared with other photos with his daughters, which made me understand he is a devoted father. The girls looked like they have been raised well, so that was another bonus point for him.

I checked everything that I had access to. He was the real person indeed, but wanted to gather as much other information about him as I could.

I was excited that I just joined a dating app and got a result that seemed worthwhile. It made me believe that these type of sites could actually turn out good.

So, I got his number. What am I going to do now? Of course I will call him. Question now is when would be the right time. Tonight? During the week? Weekend? Heck, I don’t know. ‘There’s never a right time.’ ‘The time is now.’ ‘Just go for it.’ Which will I choose?

Technology may have been created to make our lives easier, but when it comes to love, reality is that you can’t reboot or update it. It will always be scary, confusing, and most often, heartbreaking.

Making ‘the right call’ will always be difficult to do.

{September 26, 2016}   The Swipe – Left or right

I met with Dina for Sunday brunch. It has been a while since we’ve gotten together. She invited some other girlfriends of her to join us as well.

I personally don’t mind that because it’s always good to meet new people and just have plain conversations about anything. Of course, the topic always turns to men.

I don’t know how it came up, but one of the other women started talking about these new mobile dating apps that are super easy to use. I’ve heard about those that you see a photo of the person with some basic info like first name, location, work title (if provided), and deciding if you like the person or not, you simply swipe right for yes, left for no.

The next step is that, hopefully, the person that you liked had done the same for you previously and a connection is established. It’s then up to you to try to continue with such connection, as you only have about 24 hours to communicate with the other person before it’s lost for good. Sound simple, but it pushes you to take quick action.

The woman opened her profile to show me the app. I noticed the age range and it was in the mid to late 30’s. There were many nice looking guys for her to consider.

I kept looking at what the app provided and also at her. She had a friendly personality, nicely dressed, has a good job, and is in the same situation as me. We have qualities that any guy would wish for (I think) and we can’t find someone. How crazy is that?

I downloaded the app while still there, but didn’t open it, as I felt it would be disrespectful from my part. I may try to be digitally up-to-date, but will not act like the current generation that its glued to their device every waking moment. This you handle in privacy when you get home. And I did.

I opened the app once I settled down, created the profile, added photos, etc., and off I went. The results were a bit of everything: some men looked good enough to consider; others looked way older than me; others were definitely a no right from the first photo appearing; others had photos at different ages; others had photos other than themselves (kids, dog, beach, stupid GIFs or memes). You name it, I saw it.

But before you do the swipe, you have to read the location of where each one lives and any information they might have provided that sheds some light as to what they want.

There were some that were just too far away for me, meaning it will always be difficult when having to see each other. Doing the ‘meet you in the middle’ will not work in the long run.

Other closer locations I consider ‘manageable’; they’re easy to get to or are ones that I could consider moving to in the future if anything became serious. I know I’m jumping ahead of myself, but you have to consider any scenario from the start, not later, and avoid the ‘it’s complicated’ dilemma.

Others, after reading the info, including their profession, you just realize you have nothing in common, or they’re out of your (and their) league. I am trying to be as open as possible to anything out of my comfort zone. But there’s some people that you just know by the way they’re behaving in the photos, what they’re wearing, or other physical aspects, that it will never happen, not even if the planets aligned or the world is about to end. Not only do you know, you feel it.

And the ‘out of league’, those guys that spend every available time in the beach, gym, or similar activities, want someone like them. Period. End of story.

Ladies, take it from me: they’re not going to stop pumping irons with their buddies or change their schedule for you, unless you do so for them or are into the same thing. The ‘trophy woman’ will not work unless you’re into bodybuilding or have a jacked-up body.

Other ‘outs’ (as mentioned above), include those that claim that travel constantly (pleasure or work), or have photos attending some fabulous event. This may look very chic and glamorous, but unless you’re in those inner circles, have the money to be a globetrotter, or afford to be at the level of those activities, chances are you will not be the woman for him.

It also applies to guys who are CEO’s or entrepreneurs. I’m not saying to sell yourself short, but these guys who are very successful, want women who are accomplished in a similar business/corporate measure.

You may be happy with your job and feel fulfilled with what you do, but if you’re not even close to where he is professionally, you will always look second place next to him, maybe a bimbo, or someone who’s with this guy for some personal agenda you have.

Don’t get me wrong; you may have your self-esteem and confidence in the right place and will not feel intimidated, but it will become an issue somewhere in the long run.

Also, stay away from guys who say they’re in town for a week. You’re not an escort (and have no idea what they left behind back home). Believe me when I say he won’t remember you once he’s gone. All they want is that their ‘layover’ turns into ‘getting laid over and over’ again.

Unfortunately, life is not fair, on anything. It’a jungle out there, even for finding a guy. So if you’re ready for this technology, then get your finger ready and start swiping.

“When are you coming back?” asked the woman.

“I don’t know. This is my first time in Cuba,” replied I.

“Do you like it?”, asked she.

“For being the first one, it has been a unique experience, very interesting,” replied I.

“Cuba is not what it used to be,” said she.

“That I knew,” said I.

“This is, well, a system different from that of the past,” continued she. “Those who didn’t live it can’t adapt to it. If it is someone like you, you don’t know what it used to be. Cuba was a golden cup, a jewel. Those who know it, like me, who were born and raised here, and are now facing old age, have seen the changes.

When the afternoon ends, everyone goes home, and there’s this huge sadness. The youth by instinct is always searching for something; they go out walking, dancing, make noise. But it’s not like before; at 10pm, the ‘it’ people would go out to enjoy the nightlife. The cabarets would open, the tycoons would appear; they came from abroad,” said she.

She looked away, probably reminiscing a long time past. She even placed her index finger to her mouth as a sign of silence. This I have heard before; it signifies that ‘I shouldn’t be saying much further about this topic, as I might get into trouble.’

All I could do is look at her, smile sadly, and make a gesture of ‘I understand.’ But deep inside of me it was heartbreaking.

Sitting in that apartment was like a place almost frozen in time. This must have been a gorgeous home in its glory days, but unfortunately is not that any more.

After my meeting with the woman, I took a walk around the area and sat down in a bench in a shaded area. I looked at the people walking by, the surroundings, buildings.

It was my fourth day on this island and still feeling surreal that I was there. It was one of being on a strange place, mixed with that you’ve been here before. Maybe the similarities to my home country made me feel that way. Maybe I’ve been here in another life.

And then I asked myself, what would have happened if my marriage had been lived in this place, since my ‘x’ and family are from here?

Honestly, I think it would have been more miserable. Being in someone else’s turf would have made my existence even worse. The rules of engagement, the expectations; everything would have been at a much higher level to attain, probably unachievable.

Some of my ‘x’ in-laws would have taken advantage that I was on my own, with no friends and family to really upon, to tear me apart, just like they did.

And my x’s infidelities would have been the talk of the town. I would have felt helpless, numb, and not knowing what to do, other than suck it up and hope that it would all go away without much damage.

All the issues and situations that lead to the divorce would have been the same, but in a different scale. It would have been a more painful and difficult experience.

Would have I stayed when I became single? Probably I would have debated it like I did before. Would have taken my time, traveled, did things the way I wanted, like discovering a new world within the only one that I knew.

I would have opted to not running away from my reality, but instead proving to myself that I had the capacity to bounce back and overcome anything that I faced. That it was time to live life the way it should be, on my own terms. Just like I did.

Just like sitting on this bench and making this trip. I was told ‘no’ so many times by my ‘x’ (and now ex-friend) that I couldn’t do certain things, to which it only fueled my desire to prove them wrong. They’re not here to see it, but they will know it about one day. It will be a message of ‘how did she do that?’ They will see a side of me they didn’t care to see.

Who knows, maybe I would have made the decision of staying at that bench. After you become single again, you have to regain your place within yourself and the earth, and I believe I have accomplished that.

Maybe one of the reasons for making this trip (without me realizing it until now), was that I needed this question to be answered.

Perhaps it was meant for me to have come to this island because there’s still some sides of me that I yet have to recover, or uncover, and this place will be the vehicle for that.

I will definitely be back. The universe is telling me that I have to.

Maybe I was indeed here in another existence. Maybe I need to make more history of my own in this lifetime. And it’s looking pretty good right from where I’m sitting now.

“Let’s wrap this up,” said she. “Contrary to what you think, I feel the next year will be favorable.”

“So in the long run I will get married again?” asked I. She gives me a look of ‘no’. “No?? I’m not getting married again??”

“You will have (male) friends,” said she.

“But no marriage??” asked I again. “No??  Wow…” said I disappointed. (There will be two guys, and plenty others, but not one that will be ‘the one’? Dammit!!) “Will I at least be living with someone?”

“That’s something else. We all the need to be with somebody. That’s the same as the need to eat. We all want to have a good partner, even just to fight with, to be at our side,” said she.

“But the marriage part is not showing in the cards?” asked I.

“No. I still see the two guys; they’re not bad men,” said she.

“I’m not sure as of who these two are,” said I. “I was going out with someone until recently. But one day to the next, puff, he was gone. He later said that he was going through a divorce, that he has issues to work on. And I told him I wasn’t going to be his friend or anything since he already took me out of his life,” continued I.

“You will see that one,” continued she. (Not interested in that. I really hope he doesn’t even cross my path by accident.) “The stars incline, but do not oblige. You understand? A change will occur.” (That may well be, but I’m not changing my mind.)

“There’s a woman looking for you who envies you,” repeated her again. “She’s asking herself where you are, what’s your whereabouts. She has her man and that man had something to do with you. He had her, now he’s back with her. She knows who you are.”

“That’s the guy who’s isolated? I know a guy who used to be my lifelong friend. We were never a couple or had anything together. We were friends since adolescence,” replied I.

“He was living with a woman, he broke up with her, then was trying to get romantically involved with me, at the same time that he was seeing an ex-girlfriend of his without him telling me,” continued I.

“He later went back to that woman he had been living with. And that woman, she knows who that ex-girlfriend and I are,” said I. “She’s constantly searching what the ex-girlfriend and I are doing; she spends her whole day on that. More like obsessed. She hates that this guy and I were such close friends. She has bad intentions. She hates both of us.”

“She doesn’t have good intentions,” said the woman. “Look at these two cards, they keep showing up; they’re the most important ones. You will have good health foremost, men, job stability, a home, success. You will need to feel good about what you have.

People that are not well are those who are in a hospital or just want to stab you on the back. You know how to defend yourself. It might all not be what you hope for, but things will move forward.”

“So that guy might come back to… ask me for forgiveness?” asked I.

“‘Para comer mierda’ (to talk bullshit)”, replied she. “That’s it,” said she with a face of ‘that’s not happening’. “Know you know,” continued she. (So I was right all along. He might come back, but only to continue with his game of trying to trick me again.)

“So there’s two guys who will look for me?” asked I again to reconfirm.

“Yes, they want you, but to get what they want for their own benefit, not what you want,” answered she. (Of course…) “But, yet again, you never know; ‘matrimonio y mortaja, del cielo baja’ (marriage and shroud come down from the sky) as some would say. You might turn a corner and find someone. At first glance you might look at him and say ‘no’, but afterwards, who knows,” said she.

“But there’s still some time before that happens, right?” asked I. “Yes, some time,” replied she.

“So the marriage is not happening?” asked I again. “If not, there’s still the ‘juntera’ (coming together with someone),” said she.

“And the home will be to live with someone? And the kids?” asked I. “The children could be ‘postizos’ (belonging to someone else). I see children with you. You might not have the marriage, but other things will happen,” said she.

“So regarding that woman, you said she is sort of a witch. She’s thinking about me all the time,” said I. “‘Te tiene atravesada’ (someone who has pierced right through you),” replied she.

“And she tried to do some witchcraft on me? Has anything that she’s done caused any effect?” asked I. “She planted it (she lay the seeds). That she lay the foundation, she did. I saw it on the cards. Of course it has had some effect on you, even on your thoughts. Remember that the mind is very powerful,” said the woman.

“So what she wants from me is to…” said I. “Disappear. She wants you off her path,” replied she.

“I’m a threat to her, like you said,” continued I. “I live 4 hours away from this guy’s mother’s home. That’s what she feels threatened about. If it happens that the guy goes visit his mom, I can go there and see him.”

“That guy only wants from you to go out, dance, have a good time. Nothing else,” concluded she.

So there you have it. A guy who said that he wouldn’t allow anything or anyone (meaning the bitch) to come between our friendship, went back to a woman (who he said over and over that ‘she was on the side of the devil’) who wears her panties inside out (to which he referred to ‘a stupid thing to do’) as a way to ‘protect’ herself from someone else casting witchcraft on her.

He let go of my bestie and me to be with someone who wants me to go away, as in dead? You call this being religious, loving others? And you will come back just to bullshit me? Forget that!

Let me tell you this: any woman who does this underwear thing is disgusting. Her clothes are likely to be so stained that they deserve getting burned. She tried to do me harm, but in life, all comes back to you, and she will be the one that burns in hell in the end. Not even a chastity belt will save her.

Not only that, she’s a coward. If you are so confident about what you’re doing (the witchcraft, panties), why are you making equal effort to ‘protect’ yourself? Why do you keep throwing stones and hiding your hands?

Even more, she has less than zero self-esteem. Any woman who has been dumped by a guy who was behaving badly with other women for almost 2 years, when he was supposedly trying to save the relationship, and accepts him back like nothing has happened, is doing a disservice to herself.

You’re communicating that it’s okay to go back with a toxic guy who hated you and never loved your child, talked endless trash behind your back, and even was unfaithful to you with more women that you’ll ever know.

It has nothing to do with religion, faith, or getting what you want. It’s called having no love or respect for oneself. Is selling yourself short. It’s saying that there’s nothing better for you out there other than this person.

Is witchcraft all you’ve got? Yep, it is. You may have forgiven him, but you won’t forget that he left you once and can do it again, and dislikes your child to the max. How much? This guy once wanted to beat the living daylights out of your son, remember?

And if he hasn’t married you by now, he never will. You’re the one who should cast some crappy spell on yourself and disappear out of my life, including him.

And this goes to my ex-friend as well, of whom I remember never saying anything good about you, other than he liked ‘having a hot woman waiting for him at home when he got back from work’. This is not a woman you love, but merely a whore in disguise that you use to your convenience.

“I pity the fool that falls in love with you. / (Oh shit she’s a gold digger) / Well (Just thought you should know nigga) / (Ooooooh) / I’ve got some news for you / Fuck you and fuck her too. / And although there’s pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a… / Fuck you! / (Ooh, ooh, ooh)” –Cee Lo Green, Forget You

All things (good and bad) must come to an end and this is it for me and this guy. I’ve said all that I needed to say and I’m glad it’s over.

I lost a friend, gained a new one; been lied upon, found the truth; been falsely accused, found the real person within me; been cast a bad spell, received blessings from above.

I may not get all that I wish for as the spiritual lady said, but I have health, friends, a home, job, family.

Yes, the lady is right: I’m lucky in more ways than one. I have all that I need and it seems the best is yet to come. I will be grateful for everything (as she said I should) and can only look forward to what the future is holding for me.

It’s all a matter of how well you shuffle and play your deck of cards. That’s it. The end.

“A good fortune awaits you at the end of this year or the beginning of the next. A good development,” said the spiritual woman. “What type of development?” asked I. “That you will have a job, health, will travel,” replied she.  “That’s having good luck. Some people don’t have a job or might be sick in a hospital. There’s people in this town that just want to run you over.”

“You’re a woman with luck. You didn’t have children because destiny didn’t want you to,” continued she. “We drag with us the last stage we had on earth. There’s people that did bad things in their last one. Now you pay for what you did before. We come to reap what we sow.”

“I see a very good end and start of the new year, said she. “You will remember that I told you so. A good year primarily with health, work, developments, activities.”

“I also see that you’re going to meet a short guy,” continued she. Dammit! She’s referring to a rebound guy I briefly dated that dumped me about a month before this trip. Won’t get into details (that’s for the next story), but will say I did get to tell him how I felt about it all.

“Right now you think about love,” said she. “Yes, because I wish I had someone,” replied I. “There’s one you know that has a light tanned skin. And there’s the older man. I don’t know if this one is blonde or gray haired. They will come to help you ‘trotar en el caballo’ (ride the horse) as some would say,”continued she in a laughing tone. (Ride in what sense? Sound so politically incorrect.)

“I’ve met many men, but none lasts,” said I. “In here nobody cares about anyone. Nobody wants anything with anyone; nobody gives anything to anyone,”said she. (Sad, but true.)

“Like I said, favorable changes come your way towards the end and start of the year,” continued she. “Lots of men.” “Oh, okay…” said I unsure as to whether to feel joy or scared. “That’s good, isn’t it?” asked she laughing again. (I guess so…) “But ‘the one’ won’t happen yet, right?” asked I.

“What I want is to have a home with someone…,” continued I. “Not be alone when you get to be old age. That won’t happen,” said she. “You will have much success, many developments in your life; that’s what the cards are showing. This is how the end of your life will look like. You will achieve what you want,” continued she.

“Instead of lacking one, you will have two,” said she. “What, kids?” asked I. “No, friends. They’re interested in you, but just want to have fun, drink, conversation. (She holds up the two cards with male figures that represents them.) They will give you some distraction and you won’t be alone. There’s one that’s a liar, tells lots of lies,” continued she. (Are we back to my ex-friend who definitely is?)

“All the guys I meet, they tell you lots of stories. They’re with you and then disappear. They end up giving you all these excuses. No one wants to be in a committed relationship,” said I. “No one wants anything with anyone. Nobody wants to be responsible for you. Nobody wants to give you anything. To get something from you or get confortable with, yes, anything else, no,” said she.

“You will be better off next year. It will be an adventurous one,” continued she. “That man with the grey hair, he’s waiting for you. You know his mom who’s from another country.” (Wait, are we talking about my ex-friend and his mother? He’s not old, but the grey hair, excess weight, and else makes him look way older beyond his actual age.)

“That old man, he’s from abroad. This is the one. He has a tanned skin, but not so dark. Has good hair. He’s the one whose got your back. You know him.” continued she. (I do? Does she mean American?) “There’s some old men who want to get comfy with a younger woman. We get to a point in our lives that we open up ‘las tendederas’ (the clothes line; that we put ourselves out there). There will be two guys with you at the same time, the young and old one.” (Hip hip hooray?)

“And you mentioned that I have a friend who is isolated who will come back. Isolated means that he’s in a bad environment?”, asked I.

“Being isolated is one thing. It means that he’s in a location far from you,” replied she. (That may be so, but truth is he has chosen to isolate and distance himself from those who cared about him and only associates with people that only share his views. And that bitch is in part responsible for it. He’s not in a healthy environment at all.)

“You have thoughts about love. Which one do you love? That one you don’t see? The old one?” asked she.

So confused about who’s who here. I’m not seeing anyone and not interested in seeing my ex-friend again. If it’s someone new, then I will have to wait and ‘see’ what the fuzz is all about.

My bestie believes this guy will one day reappear. She’s willing to listen to him, but I’m not, especially if he comes back looking for us after he breaks up with the bitch. That’s the only way it will happen because he now knows my bestie and I are friends. So that game of lies and playing around with us like he did before is over. Everything now will be under our rules.

The reason why I’m not interested in listening to him is because he always told me that ‘uno no es plato de segunda mesa’ (one is not a second serving table), meaning, no rebound guys, or guys that date and dump you, later wanting to come back with you after they had been with someone else.

My feeling is that if I allow him to talk to me, he might say he was wrong, etc., but will quickly turn things around to blame me for ending the relationship, preach his religious fanaticism and all else, to which I will abruptly end the conversation and block him again.

On the other hand, I might let him. I want him to see that him not wishing me well (or ‘te veo mal’) for not doing what he demanded I should do, including forgiving my ex-husband, has turned out the opposite way: my life became better without you.

I may still be missing a significant other, but have lived life on my own terms, forgiving only myself, and with no regrets. My inner peace has increased and find joy in doing things that challenge me, like traveling to Cuba.

I will tell him, “you’re the one who’s wrong. All that negativity and bad wishes didn’t affect me a bit. I don’t care what you have to say now or later. I don’t need you. Please go away.” I will close the door on him and whatever else that represented this long gone friendship. I will apply to him exactly what he taught me.

I’ve learned my lesson well and will only hope that he does as well.




“And there’s a guy with like a tanned skin. The men are like that where you live,” said the spiritual woman.

“There’s lot of changes happening for you starting now. As always, some good, some bad. Changes with friends, work, places. The changes will come spontaneously, but are not bad ones. There’s some people that are stuck in the same situation over and over. But these ones are favorable,” continued she.

“You’re still young,” said she. “Well, not that much,” replied I. “You still can have kids. How old are you? About 50, right?” continued she. “Correct. The doctor told me my time with that is up,” replied I. “I know of someone who gave birth at 60,” said she. (If you say so…)

She then continued by saying that I have a job, and mentioning other details about family members.

“And who is that woman that you have to see?” asked she. (Why does this bitch is still coming up??)

“When the year ends you will see someone crying,” said she. (Hmm, I wonder if it is this guy; my bestie has always said one day he will deeply regret all he’s done. Maybe her dream will indeed come true.)

“Guys look for you for what you have, but even with your job and else, you’re still alone,” said she. (That’s because they’re after getting what they need [sex obviously] and whether you give it to them or not, they will ultimately dump you. You’re just disposable. It’s all about them, not the other person.)

“And who is the older white guy?”, asked she. “Someone as white as you. He’s coming to your home. He’s a good man. Gets along with you. Maybe a family member?”

“Oooh,” continued she. “Have you done other readings before? Have you ever been told that you have a winged spirit of an indian? This is a good spirit that protects you. He walks with you.” (Nice; he’s probably been fighting off all the bad vibes that this bitch has tried to instill in me.)

“Someone who wanted to get married, didn’t get married,” said she. “There was someone who wanted to marry me, but didn’t??” asked I. “No, not with you specifically. It could have been other people who said they would get married, but didn’t, and ended up living together. Who are they?” continued she. “They didn’t go forward with the marriage, they broke up, later got back together to continue their ‘relación de cama’ (a bed relationship or based on sex). That’s what happened.”

OMFG! Still going with this guy and the bitch. And no surprise about the bed thing. Incredible how this guy is in this relationship just for the sex. His mind is really screwed up!

“One time I was with a girlfriend of mine and this guy at the beach,” told me my bestie once. “My girlfriend is somewhat overweight and not the prettiest one. This guy started checking her out and had a grin on his face that he wanted to screw her. I looked at him and said, ‘hey, can you be less obvious??’ His face quickly changed and said ‘What?’ like he didn’t know what I was talking about. So sick. He’ll go for anyone who spreads their legs for him.”

“In spite of everything that has happened to you, you can’t complain about luck, because you’re a person that walks through life with luck,” continued she.

“An older white man will go to your home. Is he coming for your mom or maybe for you?” asked the woman. “I don’t know. My mom and I live in different countries. And my closest family members have already passed,” replied I.

“At the end of everything, life still smiles at you,” continued she.

“You have many suitors, guys. They come to see you because of work, for friendship or other things. Good relationships, good luck, things that develop into good things” continued she. (Not really sure on the last part though.)

“Still seeing this man,” continued she. “The older man? But not as a companion, right?” asked I. “I don’t know what he’s up to,” replied she. “Even if he’s older, but you like him, who cares? Being alone, even less at old age, is not good.”

You’re right again, lady. Being single is not always fabulous, especially if you’ve been without a boyfriend for years and you feel that won’t change any time soon.

So who is this man that she keeps talking about? Will it be someone I haven’t met yet? It has to because no one else fits the profile. And, how old are we talking about?

Universe, please,  I don’t need to sweat excessively over this like I have already on this extreme tropical weather. Can you please send me something ‘refreshing’ my way?


et cetera