Another Cougar Moment 13 – One more time

Jesse disappeared for some time, again, and he surfaced with a text message yet again, during a long weekend (one more time, again).

‘Hey where are you?’ said his text.

‘Not in the area for today. Why?’

‘I was hoping to see you before I left.’

‘For the weekend?’

‘No, I’m going back home. I only came to work here for 6 months.’

Six months? Has it been that long since I met him?

It was sort of sad that he was leaving town, but also relieved that this was the end of it (the texting and anything else that could have happened).

I responded to him that I regretted him going, but wished him the best.

Did I mention to him to ‘keep in touch’? I don’t remember.

Oh, well, another guy come and gone. Or, was it? I mean, nothing significant really happened besides there been a drastic age difference. And I can’t deny that it was flattering from someone his age to tell you how pretty you were.

So what do I take from all this? Simple; I need to keep it up, put myself out there and never loose hope that the next one might just be ‘the one’.

Failure To Connect 10 – The way it is

I couldn’t shake off my frustration so I decided to call Dina and get her advice on what to do. After I briefed her on what had happened, her tone of voice was one of no surprise at all.

“Better get used to it ‘cause that’s how it is,” said she.

“What do you mean?”

“That guys in general are like that. You meet one, you go out with them once, lucky if twice, and then you never hear from them again.

They don’t tell you anything, never bother to call back, or whatever other reason they might have. It all boils down that they are not interested.”

“But how can this person come up with any conclusions about me when we only had one conversation?”

“Maybe you said something that turned him off or, whatever. You know what, it has happened to me quite a few times before that it doesn’t affect me any more.

If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother calling again. I would let it rest.”

“But he was surprised and grateful that I called him and he said to give him a call back. I mean, there’s a possibility that something happened to him or  his mobile.”

“Of course anything’s possible. It’s possible that, yes, he was genuinely happy that you called, as well as that he lost interest in the middle of the conversation.

Even more, he told you to call him back to not hurt your feelings. The list goes on and on.”

“So if that is the case, why are you still seeing that guy?”

“Because I haven’t put my emotions into it yet, so when he decides to leave I won’t get hurt.”

“I don’t get you. If you know that he, like others, will eventually behave the same way, why keep at it?”

“I told you, I’m not getting emotionally involved. I’m just going with the flow. Mark my words, in the end, it will lead to nothing.”

I was even more confused than when Dina and I started talking.

I know she was right about them guys disappearing, which has also happened to me. But Christian sounded sincere when we spoke. I think that if he became uninterested, he would have communicated that to me in some way.

Now my frustration has gotten worse.

Now what?

Failure To Connect 8 – Handling emotions

“Hey, Dina, whatever happened to that guy at the bar?”

“It’s going well, I suppose. He has visited me already at home, gone on a few bicycle rides. But nothing extraordinary has yet happened. Let’s see how it goes.”

She sounded like there was not a lot of fuzz going on. Or maybe she was taking things very slow as to not get too excited about him in case nothing came out of it in the future.

Yeah, I get it. I don’t want to get excited or anything with Christian either too in case he ended up being ‘missing in action’ like so many other guys I’ve met.

I guess both Dina and I have been disappointed so many times before you are taking for granted that it will happen again. The guys, for whatever reason, will eventually disappear just like the others have.

So it’s better not to put much emotions or thoughts into it so it doesn’t derail your life yet again.

She’s handling it the right way and so should I.

“What about you?” Dina asked.

“Well, I waited a few days to call him, got a hold of him, had a nice conversation, and we agreed to talk next week to possibly meet when he’s not with his kids. So, yeah, I mean, is like your situation. Let’s see what happens.”

“You know me, I like being posted on what happens to you, so please do that.”

“I will if anything develops. Please do the same for me.”

“I will. Let’s get together again soon and talk about it.”

“Sure, if there’s anything worthwhile to talk about them.”

Failure To Connect 5 – Mixed messages

I said good-bye to Dina and ‘the hand at the thigh guy’ and after entering my car, the two left still walking holding hands. I was happy for her, but somewhat concerned to how the night would end for her, meaning if he were a descent guy, etc.

It’s been a while that neither of us had met someone and when it does, it feels like the first time: being clueless, insecure and scared of what the outcome might be.

I got home and did the usual procedure after being out for the night, including emptying the purse I used of all its contents.

I took out the business card and read what was written in the back. It read ‘Christian’ and a mobile number.

‘Christian?’ I thought to myself, ‘it sounds too religious to me. I mean, of all the endless possible names to consider for a baby boy you chose this one?? No, I don’t like it.’

All right, I admit that I’ve asked repeatedly for some divine intervention from the universe as it relates to love, but did you had to send him? What are you trying to tell me?

I know I’m not supposed to judge others on a name, but I’m not really getting a vibe from this one.

So, what am I going to do? Realistically speaking, there are no other candidates to consider.

Ok, ok, I’ve made my decision. I’ll wait for a couple of days to go by and then I’ll give him a call. I’m not sure if this is the best thing to do, but at least I won’t look desperate (I think).

Decision made. Time to go to sleep.

Let’s see what happens.

You Have To Put Yourself First 10 – I’m hot for ob-gyn

I get a call from my financial planner informing me that my health insurance had been approved. That’s great news for me. I may have had a rough year, but I’m proud at myself that I got this matter resolved, especially when my annual gynecological visit was coming up.

I called the medical office to make an appointment and, as usual, there’s no immediate availability for any of the doctors I have met with before but until six months from now.

I insisted with the appointment setter that my exam was due and that I would take any open date.

“Well,” said she, “there’s availability next week with ‘Dr. H.’”
(Darn it! I know all the other ones in the group and there’s no choice but with one I have no idea who it is? So it’s either him or half a year from now. What it is going to be?)
“Fine, book it. Thank you.”

My appointment day arrives and I’m a nervous wreck, as always. I basically hate having to take my clothes off, wear a hospital gown, plus get touched all over during the examination.

What in a guy’s right mind would motivate him to become a gynecologist? I mean, you’re dealing with naked bodies of all shapes and size the whole freaking day.

And what about the births? You really need to have a thick skin to make them happen.

And another thing…(the doctor walks in into the examination room), who are you??
(OMG!!! My ob-gyn is a hottie!!!)
I’m trying to conceal my obvious facial expression of amazement, and his is of ‘oh, no, not again.’

We reviewed the usual health questions, and I kept looking at him throughout the whole conversation.

“All right,” said he, “let’s do your check-up.”
(Fine by me! Take all the time that you need.)

The examination felt quicker than in previous years and everything went very smoothly.

“Well, all done,” said he. “I hope there was no discomfort.”
(None whatsoever. Honey, you can keep touching me all that you want.)

My ob-gyn finished writing his notes on my medical chart. I’m still looking at him very attentively.

“Do you have any last questions for me?”
(Yes, like, are you single? If you are, what are you doing for lunch or after work, or the rest of your life?)
“Ah, nope.”

Dr. H exits the room and I remained seated on the examination table for a couple of minutes.

Damn it! I know what’s happening to me. I’ve been alone for a while and feel that I’m ready to have a relationship again.

But, am I feeling this because I’m alone or because I am really ready to take a chance at love?

I don’t know.

Only time will tell.

A Spring Break in the Fall 21 – The AfterShot

Dina and I are on our way to take the stairs to exit the dinning hall when I encounter guy #3 of the day.

David, who was born and raised in Latin America and now living in the Northeast US, was promoting his product, the drink ‘AfterShot.’

AfterShot was scientifically formulated, plus is caffeine and preservative free. The whole deal is that you’re supposed to drink it before you start drinking ‘the heavy stuff’ or partying the night away, to avoid the infamous ‘hangover.’

Hmm, interesting concept. This is what I should have drunk the minute I stepped a foot here. Stupid toast could have ended on a different note.

Since I have a communications background, I was very interested in getting ‘the full monty’ on this business venture that he had accomplished. The story was quite interesting, so I engaged in a very lengthy conversation with ‘this guy.’

Dina was staring at me like my talk was purely to ‘hook’ him, but honestly I was not. After last night, just sharing ‘small talk,’ and possibly establishing friendships, is good enough for me for today.

She stared at the bottle like, ‘this will serve me very well during this trip’ and took one for both of us.

She also wanted to get going and gave me a look of ‘can we just get the heck out of here?’

I concluded my conversation with David and expressed that I hoped that we could all meet up again during our stay.

Dina and I stopped briefly in our room before venturing into the water sports. She opened the AfterShot bottle and started drinking it.

“This stuff good,” said Dina. “Try it, you need it!”

Damn! She was up late last night, partying until who knows what time, and she looked as fresh as a daisy. How does she do it?

Me, I felt my hair rising and my body rejecting anything that wasn’t water or coffee. On the other hand, I needed something that would guarantee me that I would survive the rest of my existence at this place.

I mean, what else could go ‘wrong’ for me? (Let’s not go there, shall we?)

Dina and I shared the rest of the drink (she was right; it is good!) and off we went for our much anticipated water adventure.

First stop of the day: rock the boats.

A Spring Break in the Fall 17 – Food for thought

I walked up the stairs of the dinning hall and straight into the buffet area where the food was already served. Being the only one there made me feel like a little kid in a candy store where I could take anything I wanted.

I’m doing a walk-through of everything before digging in, when I come face to face with a guy. (Correction, I was the only one there.)

We looked at each other like, ‘whoa, where did you come from??’ We also had a face that we were both in desperate need of some food, so we quickly took separate ways and kept going.

I piled up my plate with food for my first round of eating, and then walked to find myself a table when, sure enough, ‘that guy’ was already seated and once again looking at me.

I looked around at the other empty tables and back again at him, when I figured that the obvious thing was to sit down with him (if he was up to it). In other words, it would have been totally moronic from my part not attempting this.

I mean, wasn’t one of my goals for this trip to have the chance to meet other guys in another light? Duh, as soon as I stepped into the seating area, he stared straight at me.

Translation: it’s a no-brainer that this was one of those moments.

All right, here we go.