I was happy to be meeting up with Madeline and her family, especially during the holidays when single people tend to feel the loneliest. She was also single and had been very supportive during my post divorce. She was in essence the female version of my high school friend.
I remember the weather that year was really bad with heavy rain and the temperature dropped to the low 20’s. I still wasn’t technologically up to date, meaning didn’t have a smarthphone or GPS.
Both of them had one in their car and have used it successfully for years. Madeline told me to get one and make the trip; he said that if the weather was that bad, a woman like me driving by herself would be concerning to him, even if I had the device.
They both agreed that it would be a good purchase to make, as they felt that it would not only be useful to have, but would open my outlook into taking other trips in the future.
Ultimate the weather became the decisive factor, so I chose to fly instead. As simple as this road trip sounded, I was still too afraid to take risks at this stage.
Still, the temperature made me remember being in college, ending the semester, flying home for the holidays, arriving at a warm weather, and seeing my friend.
But as much as I was happy to be with Madeline and grateful for her invitation, I still felt displaced. I was still recovering from my divorce, trying to regain my sense of self, plus figure out what I was to do with my life. At least being around people who appreciated me gave me some sense of belonging for a few days.
I was also thinking about my friend. His mother underwent surgery and he spent many days in the hospital with her and later at home. Me in the distance could only provide support. His birthday happened during those days and he was more than pleased to have the gift that his mother would most likely have a full recovery.
It also started to daunt on me how loved one could be gone quickly, how oneself with age start facing calamities, how we are able (or not) to handle situations we always knew would happen, but not really ready for when they do.
In essence it was a question of how long will those important people remain with us, will they still be there near or far when the bad really happens, and if they’re gone either in life or death, how are we to cope with their departure?
It was a reality I had already seen: as much as you want to have certain people in your life or try to make things work in a certain way, like the song says, “baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”
Yep, that’s how it’s sang.