Friendship Above All 2 – 5 guys

I decided to do what I did the first time; I will select about 5 guys from among certain age groups, to which they will receive a ‘wink,’ ‘kiss,’ message or acknowledgement that I have an interest in establishing some contact with them.

I will also only grant access to my profile to those people who I initiate contact with. I learned my lesson from my previous experience. No more unwanted emails from loads of guys I would have never even considered.

I am also aware that among those emails was the one from Ivan. I don’t regret meeting him, but learned that I need to tweak my strategy if I want to get to my goal.

Otherwise I’ll go back to doing the ‘trial and error’ thing that has never worked in the past. I would let things happen and then react or decide what to do later.

Hopefully I will be able to have more control of what happens next and finally get it right.

OK, let the search begin.

Putting Yourself Online 3 – Expose yourself

I started looking at the photos of the guys and some caught my attention right away, and others got a quick ‘no’ when I saw them.

I promised myself that I would keep an open mind during this process. Meaning, to not only look for a date that seemed physically attractive to me, but also to look for guys who were out of my ‘comfort zone’ (those that mentally resembled what I only knew of before, a.k.a., my ‘x’), and go for those that had potential as well as substance.

My goal was to find someone who had the physical ‘goods’, but totally the opposite personality of ‘that guy’ in my past life. And this would be the deal breaker for sure.

Honestly, what good is a guy who could I consider cute, if he’s shallow, selfish, has an entitlement complex, narcissist, controlled by his mother, lacks empathy or is dysfunctional?

Yep, I just described that person who is no longer part of my life, and maybe I will be very selective in my choices (maybe too much). But I will definitely not allow myself to fall back into the same situation as when I was married. I think I have learned my lesson quite well.

This is where profiles come into play. Dating sites encourage presenting oneself to others the best way possible. Too little information can signal you’re hiding something. Too much can backfire at you.

You run the risk of people not reading it (who has time to read anything anyways nowadays?), or it’s seen as giving out too much into the world that is not necessary at this time.

There’s no element of surprise or interest that can develop in meeting you. You already presented your entire life for everyone else to read.

For me, it became interesting reading some of the profiles. You could tell if people dedicated time to it or maybe just had too much time on their hands.

So, after basically looking at endless of them, some guys really caught my attention, and decided to join the site I was visiting. This entitles me having to create a profile as well.

Now that’s going to be a challenge. Question is, how much am I willing to ‘expose’? Also, what if I don’t get the results I want? I mean, what if any of the guys I try to contact turn out to have no interest in me?

Yes, there is the possibility that, once again, I’ll end up in the same place I am right now; alone.

No, I’m not going there. Something good has to come out of this. It has to.

In The Beginning 11 – Don’t have to get it to get it back

I called Ricky shortly after I returned from my trip. He sounded less than enthusiastic when I did.

“Hey, I’m back. When do you want to do it?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I have to get back to you on that.”

“No problem. Take care.”

He never called back.

I spoke to Madelyn about the two calls. “He first calls in a very good mood, well, buzzed, and when I called him back the second time, he didn’t seem that much interested in speaking with me or his artwork for that matter. I really don’t get him.”

And in her true manner that she have always had, Madelyn asked me the key question of the conversation: “Do you honestly care if you get him or not? I don’t think he ever got you or took the time to genuinely get to know you.”

“At this point, no, I really don’t care about him in any way.”

“So, then, what are you going to do about the artwork? Don’t you think it would be better to return it and completely dissolve any ties with him?”

“Nah, I’m keeping it on the wall. If he calls again, which I think he won’t, and wants it back, no problem, I’ll return it, no hard feelings.

And, no, I don’t think that keeping it here will be negative. Every time I look at it will be like having a reality check of what not to do the next time I get involved with someone else.

I’ve definitely learned my lesson. It’s done, over. Closed the chapter on this one.”

“I hope you’re correct,” concluded Madelyn.

I know why she said that. She has an innate ability to decipher when my experiences have something still pending. And the most incredible thing is that she doesn’t intervene in any way.

She simply lets life take care of that. And life did, in such a way that this experience went full circle and got closed for good.