Love At First Site 11 – Safe distance

I think I got a reply 2 days later, at around 2:57 am.

What? Dude, do you get to sleep at all? I know you’re in graduate school with hopes to go into medicine, but this is not exactly healthy.

Personally, I can’t recall when I was ever up until those hours when I was in college, undergrad or post-grad. As much as I had projects or tests, it got to a point tiredness would take over.

The last time I was awake or went to bed at those hours was for New Year’s.

‘So you’ve done this before?’ read his reply. ‘I’m not looking for anything other than just to get know you better. But maybe you’re not interested.’

This sounds so generic and thoughts that were drafted of whatever brain activity remained when you were up or about to crash on your bed, whoever’s that may have been.

And this part that you’re not looking for anything, it’s not true, since it was you who contacted me first. With that schedule of yours, I doubt you are willing to put time aside to ‘just get to know me’.

Now what? Should I continue the conversation or just ignore it?

Won’t hurt to reply. Besides, we don’t know who each other is in regards to anything personal, so I’m safe.

‘It doesn’t have to do with wherever I’m interested in this or not. I’ve lived that and don’t regret it. My goal is to find someone more of my age for a long-term relationship. If you want to get to know me, maybe I can do that’.

Talking about being unclear, my response surely was worse than his. Am I really going for this again although I want something else? Was is it about this guy that’s shifting me in the other direction?

Getting attention, being told that I’m pretty by a very young guy, the thrill of adventure, doing what I’m not supposed to be doing when I should have learned already, because like so many others like me, we need a dose of drama that fuels our lives.

Side effects to follow.

Picture Yourself Online 5 – Picture it

I really took this profile thing very seriously.

I made a first draft and took a look at it again the next day. I read everything over and over, and made the necessary changes until I felt it was how it should be.

I’m not saying that it was perfect, but mainly a clear exponent of who I was. I think it was straight to the point and written in such a way that readers would get what kind of person I was.

I don’t believe I was trying to come across as anything but someone who is in the same position as many others looking out for the same goal; a person I can spend the rest of my life with.

After I completed my profile content (including pictures), I sent emails to some of the men I had liked their profile. Others received some sort of approach like a wink or a short sentence that conveyed my interest in getting to know more about them.

I don’t know how many times I hit the ‘send’ button, but there they went.

I felt such a relief when I was done. I will try, though, not to get anxious over this. Meaning, I will start checking for any responses tomorrow.

Hope I don’t loose sleep over this.

Failure To Connect 3 – Looking good

Dina and I finished our ‘quick stop’ or ‘brb’ and are walking towards the door to leave when these two guys crossed my path.

“Aren’t you Emma?” said one of then. I responded with a puzzled ‘yes.’ “Don’t know you if you remember us, but we attended high school together.”

OMG! What a surprise this was. I couldn’t believe that after so many years after graduating, these two still remembered me.

“How did you guys recognize me?” asked I.

“You still look the same,” said one of them.

Well! That was the best complement I’ve had in a very long time. If after all I’ve gone through these two still think I look great (ah, I guess that ‘s what they meant), damn, I must be doing something right. Man, my ego went sky high.

I was still standing in the hallway in total awe when them guys asked if I could have a drink with them before I left.

Dina took a seat at the bar and everyone else stood. Lucky me (and her), a guy sitting next to Dina started talking to her. Even better, he looked cute and someone that maybe Dina could be interested in getting to know.

I was even luckier that from where I was standing, I had a direct view of the first guy who had been staring at me the entire night. He was still alone and now that I was talking to these two guys, he wasn’t moving from his chair.

I noticed that his look was one that, yes, he was interested in approaching me, but was waiting for the right moment to make it happen.

This is great! He’s probably thinking that I am in demand.

Whoa! Is everybody going to be lucky tonight?

In The Beginning 11 – Don’t have to get it to get it back

I called Ricky shortly after I returned from my trip. He sounded less than enthusiastic when I did.

“Hey, I’m back. When do you want to do it?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I have to get back to you on that.”

“No problem. Take care.”

He never called back.

I spoke to Madelyn about the two calls. “He first calls in a very good mood, well, buzzed, and when I called him back the second time, he didn’t seem that much interested in speaking with me or his artwork for that matter. I really don’t get him.”

And in her true manner that she have always had, Madelyn asked me the key question of the conversation: “Do you honestly care if you get him or not? I don’t think he ever got you or took the time to genuinely get to know you.”

“At this point, no, I really don’t care about him in any way.”

“So, then, what are you going to do about the artwork? Don’t you think it would be better to return it and completely dissolve any ties with him?”

“Nah, I’m keeping it on the wall. If he calls again, which I think he won’t, and wants it back, no problem, I’ll return it, no hard feelings.

And, no, I don’t think that keeping it here will be negative. Every time I look at it will be like having a reality check of what not to do the next time I get involved with someone else.

I’ve definitely learned my lesson. It’s done, over. Closed the chapter on this one.”

“I hope you’re correct,” concluded Madelyn.

I know why she said that. She has an innate ability to decipher when my experiences have something still pending. And the most incredible thing is that she doesn’t intervene in any way.

She simply lets life take care of that. And life did, in such a way that this experience went full circle and got closed for good.